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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be so excited for a childfree weekend

18 replies

Ohalrightthen · 04/02/2021 06:32

So this weekend, for the first time in the 16 months of her life, I'm going to have a night off from DD. Not anything special, just a night away from her.

I feel a little bad, because i am SO freaking excited. I see lots of posts on here about how women didn't want to spend the night away from their babies for years... anyone else champing at the bit? I feel the mumguilt creeping in and i don't want it to end up ruining my night off.

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 04/02/2021 06:36

I love a night off; I think I had a night away from my first DD at about a similar age and yes I missed her and it felt strange but it was also so lovely to have an evening not dictated by bedtime, not have to think twice about drinking another glass of wine, to lay in, and to get up in my own time. It was also lovely to then see her the next day.

Original poster
Ohalrightthen · 04/02/2021 06:40

@user1493413286

I love a night off; I think I had a night away from my first DD at about a similar age and yes I missed her and it felt strange but it was also so lovely to have an evening not dictated by bedtime, not have to think twice about drinking another glass of wine, to lay in, and to get up in my own time. It was also lovely to then see her the next day.
This is pretty much exactly what I'm looking forward to. I was planning to do it as soon as she was nightweaned, but hey, pandemic. I think if I'd done it then, at 10m, I'd have felt more anxious about it, but now I'm just blooming over the moon!
OP posts:
Twizbe · 04/02/2021 06:51

For my birthday last year I had a mumcation.

Children were 3 and 13 months. I had one night in a hotel by myself and one night in a hotel with DH .... It was awesome. I felt so rested after it.

Only down side was it was the last weekend before lockdown 1

Heartofstrings · 04/02/2021 06:52

I'm going to dump my kids on granny and run as soon as i safely can Grin

Original poster
Ohalrightthen · 04/02/2021 06:53

@Heartofstrings

I'm going to dump my kids on granny and run as soon as i safely can Grin
Yessss i always thought like this! Night in a hotel at 6m was my pre-baby plan! If wishes were horses etc...
OP posts:
Lostinspace23 · 04/02/2021 06:56

Whilst I did feel a real pull of emotion being separated from my dd when I first went back to work, I really valued the time away. Oh to be able to travel for work and stay in a lovely hotel again!

Annoyingly, lockdown has meant that DDs granny is now round the corner, but we’ve not felt comfortable putting her at risk so haven’t been able to take advantage of any babysitting.

AStudyinPink · 04/02/2021 07:27

Enjoy it and don’t feel in any way guilty! Having care of a baby is exhausting.

BetsyBigNose · 04/02/2021 07:48

Ooooh, enjoy!

When our DDs were 3.5 and 2, I hadn't had a single night away from them. For my birthday that year, the one thing I asked for was a night off. DH had a big project on at work and was going to be focussed on that all weekend, so I drove 150 miles to my DM's house, left the children there (with her prior agreement!) and went and stayed in a hotel, 5 minutes from her house, for the night.

I had a lovely, relaxing afternoon - read my book in the sun, a leisurely swim, sauna, room service for dinner, then a film - it was bliss!

I slept in until 9:30 the next morning and by the time I was showered and dressed, I was desperate to see my girls. Imagine my surprise when I arrive at DM's house to find DH's car on the driveway - he was supposed to be 150 miles away, at home!

It turned out that the day before, my DM had slipped coming down the stairs and had broken her ankle! She now had her foot in a 'Beckham Boot' and had called my DH to come and help with the children! I felt so guilty - I had only been 5 minutes away and was just laying around, doing not-very-much, but they insisted that nothing was going to spoil my 24 hours of peace and quiet - I was incredibly grateful!

Have a wonderful (and uneventful) night off OP!

FlyingHighandDry · 04/02/2021 07:51

Sounds fabulous!

ToffeePennie · 04/02/2021 07:52

Mine are 6 and 3. I’m super excited that I have to work on Saturday morning, so the children will have to visit grandads house (all covid safe - and he’s part of our childcare bubble) on the Friday night as otherwise there’s will not be enough time to get there!
And I can’t collect them until Sunday, so even better!!! I’m so looking forward to this!

user86386427 · 04/02/2021 08:01

I regularly have nights away from my children, I have never understood the "I've never spent one night from my child" brigade. I enjoy the space and am a better mother for it.

reluctantbrit · 04/02/2021 08:05

Don't be guilty. I started travelled for work when DD was 16 months until she was nearly 4. These nights away from home, breakfast in peace, no running because of "Mummy I need..." was heaven.

DD is 13 now and a Scout with a pre-Covid camp loving pack. Dropping her off on Friday evenings was heaven, even if it meant getting a bag of filthy stuff back on Sunday.

The best were the two weekends DH went as well, pure luxery.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 04/02/2021 08:14

It depends what you & your kids are like, surely?

I'm not that fussed about nights away from mine, because they are in bed by 7pm and I can enjoy the evening, they don't disturb me at night, and I'm a morning person, so I'm awake when they wake anyway. Also my children are at their best in the mornings, they are sweet and cheerful and funny.

If I was not a morning person and craved a lie in, or had kids who were up and down like yoyos half the evening, or a baby or toddler waking me up through the night, I would probably be desperate for a night away too!!

Chimeraforce · 04/02/2021 08:49

Enjoy! I used to love time off my child rearing 👍small kids are exhausting.

Hotcuppatea · 04/02/2021 08:51

Enjoy! Nothing recharges my batteries more than some time to myself. Dont feel guilty. Think of it as part of being a good parent.

Gatehouse77 · 04/02/2021 08:54

As soon as mine stopped breastfeeding (the bedtime feed was the last to be dropped) which was around 1year old they spent the odd night away with friends and family. (And we’d return the favour with friends; no family needed it.)

Personally, I fostered the opportunity for them to bond with other significant people in our lives. I wanted them to have close relationships with others in addition to DH and I. Along the lines of “it takes a village to raise a child” but we were choosing our ‘village’.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 04/02/2021 08:59

YANBU. I'm divorced so I get childfree nights when DS goes to his dad's. I always look forward to it.

I had my first night out when DS was 6 weeks old, I didn't stay away overnight but went out with some friends for a few hours. No one bats an eyelid when men do it.

Enjoy OP!

Susanthepig · 04/02/2021 09:02

Oh enjoy. I’m jealous. We had been having child free nights and then 2 month old ds came along so will be a while again for us. Although he’s a breeze compared our my toddler.

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