Feel jealous when I see newborns but don't think I want anymore dc

[StormsDontLastForever]

Few of my dfs over the last few months have gave birth to absolutley adorable dc . I already have 1 dc & me & dh have decided we don't want anymore. But when I see newborns I feel (what I can only describe as jealous ) sooo sooo happy for them 100% but find myself wishing it was me?! Aibu in feeling like this? As I say don't know if jealous is the correct word to use. I couldn't go back to nappies, crawling stage etc . We only have a 2 bed house, dd room isn't the biggest anyway so if we did decide to have more dc we would have to move and that is not an option.

Bump

I have 3 and still feel a pang of yearning when I see a newborn. I absolutely don't want more! Think it's totally normal.

Is jealous the correct feeling, but I know what you mean, it's like oh I wish I could do it all over again as it's so special. But if you do want another child you could make it work, maybe it's because you enjoyed the new baby honeymoon, which is a lovely thing

Thank you both. I am so glad it's normal that makes me feel so much better

I am 100% categorically done having babies, and I know this. I don't want to ever be pregnant again, recover from a birth, be awake all of the time, change dirty nappies etc etc. But when I see a tiny newborn I feel this irrational pang in my heart and I look back through my rose tinted spectacles at things like the first time I held my babies, or proudly debuting their brand new names, or watching their little fidgety sleeps. I'll think to myself "maybe another one?" but then I remember the realities of pregnancy, childbirth and raising a whole entire person and I come back down to earth and realise "nope! All done!"

I think it's totally normal.

It's not jealousy, it's feeling broody and it's evolutions reason most of us have kids.

I'm in my 50s, my kids are late teens, and I still feel broody when I see a newborn 😂

For me it’s pregnancy. I feel envious when I see a growing bump as I’d love to be pregnant again. Like you though, I’m definitely done having children. I suppose what I’m really feeling is nostalgic for a lovely time in my life. I do appreciate all the great things about having children the age I do (3 and 5) and I really appreciate being able to tie my own shoes laces and see my feet 🤰🏼😂

I’ve got 2 DC, the youngest not quite a year and I do not want any more DC but when I see newborns I still get a little twist of longing (then I remind myself about the sleepless nights etc and I’m glad to be out of that stage). I think it’s a bit of a biological thing to encourage us to have more babies

My sister always says she loves a newborn but wouldn’t wNt another child and I think that’s true of lots of women. You can love babies without needing to have another child OP.

I have 3 and don't want anymore children, but I do get jealous when I see newborns. I think I always will to be honest.

I think it's a biological thing - yearning is a good description. I felt it even when you heard the distinctive cry of a newborn when out and about. Probably lasted until youngest was about 8, when I suddenly realised it has gone it was like my body had finally caught up with my mind.

There’s a really good Facebook group for parents of only children - whether by choice or by circumstance. It’s called My first, my last, my everything. Really helpful for managing the conflicting feelings around having one child.

It's very normal i think. My mum is 54 and her child birth days are over but she feels wistful every time she holds a newborn.

I am so there! I have 2 already, I wouldn’t want another one (no guarantee it’ll be a boy, which is all I would want, another boy!) every time anyone has a baby or is pregnant I have to hide them on social media because I’m so jealous. I’m happy for them and 110% happy with my own children, it’s just a biological thing I think.

I feel the same. Wistful, as another poster put it.

Which is weird because I really disliked the baby stage (except for the gorgeous snuggly few weeks) and was tired and grumpy all the time. I much prefer my hilariously funny, odd and stroppy pre-teens!

Yes. I'm the same and I will be 60 next month.

Looking forward to having grandchildren one day!

I have two my youngest is just 14 weeks old but I know I'm done now. I like mewborns but I'm glad I'll never have another. I'll just wait for grandchildren

Oh yeah, for sure! I have 3, I'm knackered most of the time and I know I couldn't handle a fourth, but I've had the twinge many times in recent months as friends and colleagues have had beautiful new babies.

I think it's your hormones that cause it. Rational thought doesn't really come into it. You're normal, OP!

Definitely hormones and biology! I'm jealous of non pregnant people right now as I hate this pregnancy so much

Remember they are only newborn for such a short time!!

Oh yes, I completely have this. Youngest DD is two, and the final traces of the baby stage are slipping away. DH and I decided that we were done at two not long after she was born and it is absolutely the right decision, neither one of us wants a third child. But I do get pangs for a newborn! I worked out I want to have another baby, but not another child.

I'm think I'm going to be one of those women who coo over strangers' babies in prams and offer to hold them in coffee shops while mum goes to the loo...

@happinessischocolate

It's not jealousy, it's feeling broody and it's evolutions reason most of us have kids.

I'm in my 50s, my kids are late teens, and I still feel broody when I see a newborn 😂

This. We’re biologically programmed to find newborns irresistible. As a sort of grandma, I can assure you that cuddling someone else’s beautiful baby is almost as good as cuddling your own.

Yep, my youngest is 19 and I definitely wouldn't want another.

I found I felt a bit broody about newborns until youngest was about 8, even though I knew I didn't want another. Then it stopped but now I am getting closer to becoming a grandma, I have got all desperate to cuddle babies again.