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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is it some people can do no wrong?

31 replies

Nottyneigh · 03/02/2021 20:16

I have an acquaintance who can seemingly do no wrong and I find it baffling. Are people just being kind or do they really think this person can do no wrong.

They portray a very 'girl next door' image, friendly, likeable but there is a lot in their background that just doesn't add up.

They have children by multiple fathers, always telling everyone how crap dad number 1 is, dad number 2 seems to have disappeared off the planet before number 2 was born and isn't spoken about. Can't seem to hold down a relationship for more than a couple for months.

Always stressed at their children, extremely lazy and is always on the phone/ playing online games. Can't seem to get their children to school on time, etc.

Always very vocal about their lack of money, even though they were struggling and on benefits already with first child.

No family contact, seemingly has lots of friends but never has anyone around when they need help.

Does lots of strange things, posts lots of strange things on facebook, including pictures in their underwear and bondage outfits Blush for everyone to comment on.

All while trying to portray a 'nice' image, acting like she's embarrassed everytime she let's out a swear word. Hmm

I'm just baffled...if I did even one of these things, I think people would disown me. Yet because this person is semi attractive, friendly and sociable it seems that people just ignore all these things they do.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/02/2021 20:19

Perhaps she's just a lovely woman and they're not judgemental fuckers?

Spillanelle · 03/02/2021 20:20

Just because you dislike her doesn’t mean everyone should

You seem like you’re being pretty judgemental. So what if she has children with multiple fathers, and has no money.

CaptainSirTomMooreismyhero · 03/02/2021 20:22

Do you think she has done something wrong then? If so, what?

farandfew · 03/02/2021 20:23

Maybe the problem is with the people who would disown you for doing just one of these things.

Cynara · 03/02/2021 20:24

You're very, very interested in what this woman is up to, aren't you? Why is that?

2020iscancelled · 03/02/2021 20:26

Well perhaps they don’t see it the way you do.

Perhaps your version of her isn’t true or even partially true.

You may judge her for what you perceive to be “bad traits” but others may be less judgmental towards her.

It could be that you are simply wrong in your deductions of her.

Others may see a youngish woman who is a bit shit at picking relationships, generally a bit insecure and needy, but is none the less a good person at heart who is trying to muddle through life with her kids without a support network.

What actually is she doing wrong? I can’t see anything about her hurting people, stealing, bullying.... at worst she sounds immature and insecure.

You I’m sorry to say sound incredibly judgemental and that might be the factor in why people treat you and her differently.

Holly60 · 03/02/2021 20:27

She doesn’t sound like a awful person to me. Maybe other people just like her?

speakout · 03/02/2021 20:27

I think you are a little over invested in this person.

You can choose not to be her friend if you don't like her, but it's up to others to decide how to relate to her.
It doesn't really impact her.
Stop stalking her on facebook if you don't like her profile.

Oysterbabe · 03/02/2021 20:27

Jealousy is a horrible thing. Unfriend her and do you both a favour.

Nottyneigh · 03/02/2021 20:29

You're right, she does come across as incredibly insecure. It's just anything that people would usually think WTF, they seem to just think are normal things when it comes to this person.

OP posts:
Nottyneigh · 03/02/2021 20:30

Jealousy GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
speakout · 03/02/2021 20:30

Why does this bother you OP?

Nottyneigh · 03/02/2021 20:33

It doesn't bother me. I just have always found it curious. I've never met anyone who can get away with making so many bad decisions and yet still had e people cheering them on.

None of my other friends/acquaintances are like this in the slightest.

OP posts:
MaliceOrgan · 03/02/2021 20:37

Maybe she's just, you know, nice. You should try it one day.

dillusional · 03/02/2021 20:37

I know what you mean op. My cousin was like this, whatever happens no ever says anything but if it was me, I would have to do that walk of atonement from Game of Thrones "Shame". I've linked it below if you haven't seen it. The only thing that comes to my mind after spending years of this is that they don't expect much from her and for me, family/relatives have higher expectations.

Nottyneigh · 03/02/2021 20:40

@dillusional thanks, you are totally right. I think that's what I meant by people would disown me. I didn't mean it literally but they would wonder what the heck was wrong with me if I did any.of those things. Maybe it's just different expectations.

OP posts:
toocold54 · 03/02/2021 20:41

Wow you seem very obsessed and jealous of her!

Why do you follow her on Facebook if she gets under your skin so much?

I can’t see how her having children with multiple fathers and everything else that’s apparently so wrong - is something that is such a massive issue for you.

fannyFERNACKERPANN · 03/02/2021 20:55

[quote Nottyneigh]@dillusional thanks, you are totally right. I think that's what I meant by people would disown me. I didn't mean it literally but they would wonder what the heck was wrong with me if I did any.of those things. Maybe it's just different expectations.[/quote]
People might be hanging around her for the drama/entertainment value... like watching a car crash in motion

fannyFERNACKERPANN · 03/02/2021 20:56

When you get a few people pandering around her for the drama, others mistake that for popularity and they think they should hang around too. Lemmings

fannyFERNACKERPANN · 03/02/2021 20:56

That's just a potential reason anyway

funnylittlefloozie · 03/02/2021 20:59

Why do you think "everyone loves her"? It sounds to me as if they're just watching the shitshow, just like you are are. I have some acquaintances like this - every gruesome detail of their lives goes on FB, and I'm both horrified and enthralled.

dillusional · 03/02/2021 21:04

@fannyFERNACKERPANN probably. My so called cousin was full of drama as well. People love this kind of stuff, as you have mentioned it's entertaining to listen/watch especially if she is a good storyteller. She probably enjoys the attention that she gets from it. Never understood the dynamics, maybe she is a much likeable person than me and in op's case, her friend is much more likeable for this reason. Maybe living a sensible life is boring to people but I hugely doubt that they are respected members of the family/community. Either way I don't think it's jealousy more to do with as you have mentioned, they offer entertainment.

GreatExpectationalized · 03/02/2021 21:04

You should leave this person alone and get on with your life. Starting with self improvement or making kinder friends, whichever is needed more urgently - better use of your time.

...Maybe people are generally more accepting of those who are accepting of them, or these who seem vulnerable in some way.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/02/2021 21:12

What a horrible opening post.

Just picking up on your third paragraph. You seem to be implying both the things she does with men are negative? Why? Maybe she has the confidence to not stay in a miserable relationship. Maybe she prefers being single?

OverByYer · 03/02/2021 21:15

She sounds more fun to be around than you

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