To as what time your 13yr old goes to bed

[Summertime2]

DD tells me I am UNFAIR and that all her friends are allowed to stay up late playing Roblox and she is the only one who has to go to bed. I have said lights out at 10. Last night she was texting me angry messages at 1030 about how mean I am.

Am I out of touch? For reference she gets up at 8am at the moment because of online schooling, normal times it would be 7am but then I would say lights out at 930.

At 13 it was 9.30-10ish but I took mobile away at 9 on week days.

Dd is 14 and has her mobile now till 10.30 on week days. No bedtime at weekends.

Ds is 16. No bedtime. I dont take his phone. He just has to stop talking loud on his game when his sister goes to bed but I dont set him a bedtime. Sometimes he goes early, sometimes late

Bedtime 10 all devices downstairs overnight

At the moment, on weekday, my 13 yo DD goes to bed when I do - about 10-10.15pm. She’s up at 8 for home school. I do make her stop what she’s doing at 9 and go and do bathroom ablutions, teeth brushing and faffing etc. So when I say 10.15, she’s actually in bed by 10.15, she reads her book for a bit then goes to sleep. She’s not got any phones or gadgets in bedroom.

Weekends I’m quite lax and she goes to bed whenever really - but I do keep the rule about getting bathroom stuff done at 9.

My 13 year old goes up at 9, watches telly for an hour, lights out at 10.

My 10 year old goes up at same time, watches telly for half an hour, lights out at 9.30.

Definitely later than a lot on here!
There is a big difference between a 12 and a 13 year old though. At 13 mine has now stated the long lie ins (when he can) that I remember from my youth. He can sleep till 12 on Saturday quite easily.

DS 12 (13 in July). Upstairs with no screens at 9 lights out 9:30 Sunday to Wednesday, lights out 10pm Thursday (scouts) to Saturday. Lots of his Y8 friends do seem to say up later. Imagine when he goes to high school in September we will have to consider a self regulated bed time 😭

At the moment ds13 sleeps 11-8ish.

My 13 year old goes to bed at 10:00 on school nights and midnight on weekends.

No devices upstairs at all, but he is allowed to read once in bed if not tired.

He wakes at 8:00 on (home) school days and noon on weekends.

14 year old ds is in bed at 9.30 lights out at 10pm he wakes at 5.45 mon - Friday ( pre covid )

My nearly 14 year old goes up to watch TV at 8.30, I hear him faffing in the bathroom at 10ish and is usually asleep by 10.30. He's up at 7.30 to be on his first Teams lesson by 8.15.

Weekends... 12ish? 1ish? No idea as I'm in bed but then he doesn't get up until after 11 at the weekends.

My DD13 goes to bed at 8.30, I have 2 DS 11 and 10. They go to bed at the same time, chat and have "meetings" until 9/9.15 then off to sleep. No screens for anyone past 6pm and boys don't have phones.
I am sure she is in the minority!

My 15 year old goes at 10 (ish), went at 9.30 when he was 13. Phone off a bit earlier - I still don't allow phones at night. It's hard putting your foot down at this point , especially when they're at home all the time, but it can be worth it. Could she have it later at weekends?

My 13 yr ds would be lights out 10:30 during normal times but 11/half 11 at the moment. No bedtime on a Friday night and midnight Saturday. Really surprised how early lots of them go up reading this thread.
Most of my dcs friends (13ds and 14 dd) all seem to be up to the early hours at the moment.

10.30/11 ish on a school night. He has no problems getting up for school and rarely appears tired so I'm happy for him to self regulate. No phone in the bedroom rule though.

My 12 year old usually goes to bed at 10pm on a normal school day, (up at 7.40am) but will read/draw and rarely fall asleep before 11. She's up until midnight + on weekends/holidays. Due to lockdown she doesn't have to get up as early so it's more like upstairs at 11 (phone and tablet still go off at 10pm) but she's often still awake when I check on her before I go to bed at 1am+.
I do think she should probably go to bed earlier but my loose rule is that so long as she's not grumpy first thing, gets up without a fuss and is doing well with school work then she can self regulate to a degree.

10 pm max