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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband thinks i maybe autistic

48 replies

Rizzoli123 · 03/02/2021 01:35

My husband thinks i maybe autistic. I have done a few online surveys and they say mild form. I do have dyslexia. Is there anyway to get an adult assessment that isnt school based?

Am i unreasonable for wanting an assessment at 35?

OP posts:
Mousehole10 · 03/02/2021 14:53

Well I just took the test and I got a score of 39 and an AQ of 9. Suspected for some time I might be autistic, but realistically not sure how a diagnosis would change my life.

Mousehole10 · 03/02/2021 14:55

@Rizzoli123

I just took test and i got 6.0
Your score of 6 isn’t particularly high looking at the graph in that test. At the lower end of suspected ASD, or higher end of neurotypical.
cultkid · 03/02/2021 15:00

@oddworld

Do you know what it means if my score is ten?

This is my result?

Husband thinks i maybe autistic
cultkid · 03/02/2021 15:04

Sorry I just realised my score was 1/10 showing low probability of autism?

Rockbird · 03/02/2021 15:07

My husband has told me the same thing and I suspect he's right. My AQ scores are 41 and 9 and I've scored very highly on every test I've done. I'm just too scared to see the GP about it.

Mabelface · 03/02/2021 15:08

I was diagnosed last year at the age of 50, following my adult son's diagnosis and realising how similar we are. It's a relief as there's now a good reason why I struggle with sons things. My employer has been massively supportive, as have my team, and I'm now able to ask for help and keep on top of everything. It was hard going reading my report as the autism was glaringly obvious. To the previous poster who's 25, don't be too hard on your parents for not realising, the awareness just wasn't the same as it is now.

whyorwellmatters · 03/02/2021 15:19

Over the threshold.. I probably won't do anything about it though

Husband thinks i maybe autistic
peacequietplease · 03/02/2021 15:23

I'm 30 and am convinced I have autism. I mentioned it to my GP during a mental health appointment and she told me that it's difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult, but I do know other people who are pursuing it and I am going to do the same. For me I want the diagnosis as a confirmation, I think it will help me to understand some of the quirks/sensitivities/struggles I deal with and will be easier to accept them for myself when I know there is a root cause.

Gardentime123 · 03/02/2021 15:34

I just did it now and got 41 and 9 is that quite a high score?

oddworld · 03/02/2021 17:12

@cultkid

Sorry I just realised my score was 1/10 showing low probability of autism?
Yes, if that's your score in the second box then that's a low probability. I can't see your score in the other box, but it would be shaded yellow if you were in the high probability category.
NoIDontLikeTrains · 03/02/2021 17:23

I was diagnosed age 29 despite significant psychiatric comorbidities which apparently made it more difficult. I usually score about 43 on the AQ-50.

oddworld · 03/02/2021 17:24

@rockbird and @Gardentime123 those are around the same scores I got, and I got referred for assessment. Those are pretty high scores, but it's not a diagnosis, just means it's worth pursuing (if you want to).

Rockbird I was really scared about going to the GP too. It took me ages and I read loads beforehand, took notes, printed the NICE guidelines, etc. My GP was great. I was prepared to argue my case, but he just agreed that it was worth getting assessed. I know that's not always the case though, and women especially can be very good at appearing 'normal'.

Some people just don't feel a need to have a diagnosis, but for me I really want a definite yes or no. It's probably worth spending a bit of time working out whether you need that or not. But also be aware that the waiting lists for assessment on the NHS are really long, so there's also an argument for asking to be referred and then doing the thinking during the wait!

Original poster
Rizzoli123 · 03/02/2021 17:41

@mootymoo

What do you want to gain from an assessment? Do you want the nhs to fund it because it would be nice to know or because you are struggling with your life?

My dd is autistic and it was obvious from just a few weeks old she was different with the benefit of hindsight. The diagnosis has been useful to deal with adaptive lesson plans and alternative assessment at university but in day to day life is not relevant, it doesn't entitle you to benefits, and though good employers may offer specific support, most are likely to run a mile if you declare it!

If you want a private diagnosis for curiosity, fair enough, but I have heard that many private clinics give people the diagnosis they have come looking for, no proof but it's what my DD's psychiatrist told me (perhaps though a grudge against colleagues doing more lucrative but easier work than him as an nhs dr)

I don't want anything. I dont care either way i just wanted an opinion that's all.
OP posts:
Emeraldshamrock · 03/02/2021 18:11

It would be hard to find anyone without some sensory or specific traits relate to ASD Were you socially awkward in school? Did you feel like a misfit? My DD has aspergers alongside traits she is introvert very specific doesn't really fit in feels like there is an obvious difference between her and her peers she has a high level of anxiety and meltdown when things get confusing. She has high cognitive functioning.
Speak to your gp but I'm wondering why your DH said that.

DumplingsAndStew · 03/02/2021 18:13

I just did the screening linked upthread and scored 46 and 10.

I was diagnosed with ASD in my mid 30s

oddworld · 03/02/2021 18:21

mootymoo, many private clinics do NHS diagnoses as well. It's still the same DSM5 criteria and still done by highly trained professionals. It's not "oh you think you're autistic, here's a diagnosis". That's a real insult to people who struggle with a condition, decide to go private, maybe for a shorter wait, and get a diagnosis, not because 'they have come looking for' it, but because...they are autistic.

NoIDontLikeTrains · 03/02/2021 18:25

There's definitely that train of thought among some, though, oddworld — I had an NHS psychiatrist be very dismissive of the ASD diagnosis she assumed I'd bought privately (it was actually an NHS diagnosis, but her assumption revealed her opinion on private ASD diagnosis).

smoothchange · 03/02/2021 18:26

I don't want anything. I dont care either way i just wanted an opinion that's all.

You asked if YWBU for wanting an assessment. I have to say, based on this, yes, yes you are.

NoIDontLikeTrains · 03/02/2021 18:26

To be fair that psychiatrist was a cunt in myriad diverse ways so it wasn't much of a surprise.

LadyCatStark · 03/02/2021 18:42

I scored highly but I don’t know what benefit a diagnosis would bring at this stage in my life. I’m also 34. 6 isn’t too bad really, I guess your best bet is to read up on coping strategies and try to put some in place.

Husband thinks i maybe autistic
LadyCatStark · 03/02/2021 18:43

To be fair though, that test only really focussed on social skills and organisation of thought, it doesn’t cover sensory issues at all which are my biggest issue.

MrsBobDylan · 03/02/2021 21:00

I would say it's only worth seeking diagnosis if it's causing you issues or you would benefit from 'knowing'.

Stinkywizzleteets · 03/02/2021 21:10

What do you think? Do you think you’re autistic? Are you ready to fight to explain why you think you are? You’re unlikely to get approved for pre assessment if you don’t actually think you’re autistic and can’t show it having a detrimental effect on your life.

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