Thinking my children are spoilt

[FriedTomatoe]

Recently I've been thinking this. I coparent with my ex-h and in most respects we get on okay but I'm starting to think he's spoiling them too much. An example is our device situation. My eldest who is 11 has a phone, ipad and chrome book (latter is non-negotiable as he needs it for school). Youngest who is 10 has an Ipad, laptop (which is meant to be shared with me but isn't) and a PC. It's not just this though, they both get £5 a week pocket money from ex which they both are allowed to spend on whatever they want. Fair enough but they're constantly saving for the next flashy gadget or game. I feel a bit like bad cop when I constantly say no to things and that if they want extra money they'll have to do something for it or that they have more than most kids their age have.

do they appreciate what they have do they always want more?

it really does depend-does their df do it because he can and wants to treat them or jusrt to wind you up

my dsis ex does this throws money at dn like its nothing

I agree it seems pretty normal. Do they appreciate it?
I think the key to not having kids with that awful spoilt attitude is to teach them the value of money. Do they understand what these things cost? Have you taught them to save? Maybe their next gadget comes from their pocket money. I'd also think about giving them some extra pocket money, and gradually helping them become responsible for buying their own basics like toiletries and stationary.

That sounds normal OP. Mines got more than that.

My dc are younger but each have an iPad and eldest (8) has a laptop that was gifted second hand to her but it doesn't get much use. They get given £10 each every time they see their nan which can be a couple of times a week so soon adds up. I was also worried about them becoming spoilt but they always say thank you and mean it and never expect anything. We put most of the money in their accounts for now as they're too young to be constantly buying.

Your children don't seem to have more than a lot of kids and £5 a week at their age doesn't seem too extravagant but when you say all they want to do is save for the next 'flashy' gadget or game that does make me wonder if they see these as status symbols/highly desirable things that they simply must have.

I'm saying it all wrong but what I mean is do they think they need to have them to fit in and is it their only interest? They seem quite young to be so interested in games and the latest gadgets and the young kids I know that are very focussed on gaming, devices etc can be a bit flash in their desires to have the best and newest things. And not have much interest in other children who don't have them.

I think it's too young to have the latest iPhone for example. If you have it at 11 where is there to go from there? It's not teaching you that these things are expensive and out of reach even to a lot of adults.

Spoilt is getting the game without saving, because they’ve tantrumed.

At 11, my youngest had his own iPad Pro. But never complained or wheedled if she wanted a McD and I said, “not today honey, I don’t have the money for that.”

He has loads of expensive things, but he knows how to save and I’ve always regularly said no to cheap things that I could actually afford - claiming no money for it - so he’s never thought that there was an endless supply of money, or that grumbling would get him more.

I think if they are saving for things they are on the right road. I'm fighting a losing battle with my DH who just buys stuff and doesn't make them pay for it themselves. Some of it is lockdown and not sending three people to the till when one would do, but I'm seeing a level of entitlement which I am unhappy about.

OurPact is a useful tool to control electronics if you are concerned about overall screen time. You can schedule access times, limit access to various apps and games by (off/scheduled only/always on) and manage it through your own smartphone. If each device is the same, they can't flip from one to another

£5 a week and they save it for a bigger purchase? I hardly think that is a bad thing for a 10 and 11 year old. If anything it is only positive for them to control their impulses and learn to save.

The tech sounds fairly normal too, they do schooling on the laptop and play games, read books, socialise with friends on the ipad.