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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What sort of things show insecurity in a man

34 replies

Honeypot42 · 02/02/2021 13:13

Man in his 40s I'm getting to know. Starting to notice behaviour but not sure if it's insecurity or a bad attitude.

Things like asking me what my ex does then saying how boring. Then reminding me he goes different places in his job.

He talked about someone we both knows child being attacked last week. I'm close to the boys auntie so updated him when the attacker was caught. He said to me today he never listens when people talk about others. Then he used my update as an example and said he was thinking hasn't she got anything better to tell me. He laughed but I almost hung up the phone. It felt like he was being childish as he's told me bits about other people's lives many times!

He can talk with respect about many People in the industry he's in. But he also will tell me the young lads are cocky or people think they know it all and they don't.

He says I confuse him alot in messages etc. Nobody else has ever had trouble with understanding what I am writing.

I told him my ex had taken me for a walk through a place he's working at ten years ago. He sort of said oh dear next subject.

His kids are grown up and he's been quite blunt about not being interested in people banging on about homeschooling etc. Also when I had a day feeling fed up about being stuck home etc with kids he said I was being so negative about everything.

Now I am finished with him. He's not my type at all based on this. But I am curious if this is low self esteem or just a cocky big head?

Alot of contradicting goes on too.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/02/2021 13:58

Whatever he thinks he is doing all that is happening when I read that is I am hearing Rizzo in Grease!

"Cause he sounds like a drag" - and I doubt you have Danny/Travolta on the other end of the line!

Honeypot42 · 02/02/2021 13:59

I text him that worded like that yes. But it's not for me anymore. I've been doubting him the last two weeks anyway and that just confirmed it. I thought what a self absorbed idiot. He just doesn't seem to know how to have strong relationships with people. He must have pushed everyone away before me too. Like I say. No family around him apart from a drunk cousin and a young adult daughter who's never visited him but seems to love him as she does call him. Just seems like he's got a problem somewhere.

Without sounding big headed he would have been lucky to have me long term. He's going to end up alone with this attitude. He shocks me he's that blunt.

OP posts:
alltoomuchrightnow · 02/02/2021 14:03

Rude self centred bore . Bye bye! (him)

MaMaD1990 · 02/02/2021 14:18

Christ he sounds like a piece of work. Good riddance! Have you told him why you're breaking up with him, might make him see where he's going wrong in life...

Honeypot42 · 02/02/2021 14:27

Not yet I'm hoping he will take the hint with me not getting in touch. Such a shame when someone's real colours show and you think was my brain not functioning or something. How did I not see it.

OP posts:
Doingtheboxerbeat · 02/02/2021 18:26

He sounds like an utter wanker and I agree with a pp that it was satisfying to read that you dumped his ass. He sounds like a bellend i dated who would go on about how gorgeous the 4 different mothers of his 4 different children were - to make me jealous Hmm. I think it was because I was child free by choice and he couldn't get his head around how independent i was.

GreenlandTheMovie · 02/02/2021 18:29

I find, as a general rule, if you have to ask questions as to why someone is like what they are or why they do or say certain things, they are nearly always manipulative or with a hidden agenda.

Well done on getting rid of him. He sounds quite unpleasant.

rawalpindithelabrador · 02/02/2021 18:33

He is an insecure, immature, controlling dickhead. But most of all, he's a dickhead. YY, leave at the first sign of this.

HeidiHaughton · 02/02/2021 18:36

Anyone with a "crazy ex girlfriend".
Friend of mine married a very insecure man. She was his only serious girlfriend, I doubt he even went on a date with anyone else. He's constantly "joked" about other people's careers, houses, holidays and so on, but it's not funny and you can see people who meet him for the first time at a party edging away from him. Basically he's a pain in the arse who needs to put others down to make his life sound better.

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