To be unsure if I should go through this round after 6 months of hell.

[hop27]

Have had 3 rounds of IVF previously, took 1 year off due to the emotional strain. New specialist recommended putting me into artificial menopause, for 3 months then a round of IVF. We then extended it to 6 months because I didn't feel mentally strong enough. I'm now faced with a choice, IVF or not. On the one had I'm so desperate to try again, all I want it to be a mum on the other hand I'm terrified of the merry-go-round and potential impact on my mental health if it fails.
I need to decide if I start stims in 10 days, it feels too soon but I don't want to waste the past 6 months of being chemically forced through menopause (which has been really tough)
AIBU to have gone through all this heartbreak to back out at the last minute. Or do I just need to force myself through this.

Just did my last 2 stim injections and then my triggers tonight.
Now just want to get to Monday and through the next part .....
thanks for all the kind words, really appreciate it. Means so much the support of strangers in my darkest time.

Just wanted to wish you lots of luck OP, I’ve been where you are and I feel for you, I really do.
We have 5 rounds of ivf to get my first DS, now 7. God I didn’t want to do that last cycle, I forced myself and it was hell and I hated every second.
Hope egg collection goes well for you.

It depends to some extent on what the chances of it working are. How did your previous cycles go?
If you’re in a temporary menopause, then you will start feeling better once you start the stimulation drugs.

Also is it the actual procedures of IVF that you find difficult or more the fear of it failing again? It may be that talking to a fertility counsellor can help you.

Good luck! It took us 10.5years and four IVF cycles (three fresh, one frozen) but against all the odds I now have a daughter and a son. Hard though it was, I personally felt that I needed to give it my best shot before giving up (the four cycles were my limit) or else I would always have thought" what if...?".

It is so cruel that all the hormones involved with treatment make us less able to deal with the process mentally but you have done so so well getting this far.

Sending you lots of positive vibes.

I say go for it OP! At least you'll be able to look back and say you gave it your all!

(And who knows- it might even work??)

I'm really glad to read that you went for it, @hop27 - I know how gruelling it is (I had four rounds) but I think the pain of regret and lost opportunity can be harder than the process itself.

Maybe this is it for you! My recommendation is to do some calming/meditation type exercises every night and keep your feet warm.

Okay, the second one might be an old wives tale, but definitely do some relaxation and visualisation stuff