Treated differently at work?

[SugarSucre]

Had a rota sent out at work and one person was excluded from an extra role we all have to pick up. Two people sent out reply emails questioning this.

The person who was excluded then followed it up with an email telling us all off (80% of the team hadn’t even said anything about it) and the two people who questioned it had a meeting and had to apologise.

Now one of these people has kind of targeted me. I can’t do a certain role due to technical issues (this is constantly monitored and reported back to my manager and tech support and I still do my fair share of the work). This person would bring this up in meetings not naming me but making it very obvious who they were talking about and then start personally questioning me over IM.

I told my manager it was now to the point where I feel anxious and not sleeping as I’m dreading work. Their response was “to ignore them”.

Now I don’t want people getting into trouble, I just thought my manager would have a quiet word and tell them to drop it.

I’m now more angry that the first instance was dealt one way and mine another way. Or is it fair enough?

Unless you have something like an email trail as your colleague did then I’d just ignore it?

Am I right in thinking in the first example, they queried it publicly and in the second, just directly to you (not naming you in front of others)?

I mean the meetings my manger witnesses for themselves. All my IMs are automatically saved as a default setting.

I just feel if I were a manager and someone who has mental health issues (that they know about) approaches them and says they are struggling to the point of not sleeping then “just ignore them” wouldn’t be my response.

Just to be clear as my OP may have rambled.

Email - no one specifically named but was obviously who was being referred to.

Meeting - said multiple times - not named me but again made it very obvious they were referring to me and the team would know this.

Difference is one is written and one was verbal.

Presumably your boss has told them to drop it? Her telling you to ignore them doesn't mean she hasn't spoken to them?
She probably should have tried harder to reassure you though.
It sounds like she is fine with what you do, the reasons why etc.

Hi op, to be clear - when the two colleagues sent out an email about their other colleague not working, was that to everyone in that group?

@CoRhona

Hi op, to be clear - when the two colleagues sent out an email about their other colleague not working, was that to everyone in that group?

Yes but it was a reply to all - so included the team and managers.

Same as the meeting - exact same people (team and managers there)

I think that is why the two scenarios were handled differently - they were named and you were not.

The instances are slightly different but it does read unfairly.

Rota instance actually based on what you put sounds like an over-reaction. 2 colleagues emailed...saying presumably something like 'looks like not everyone has been rota'd for x role????' Excluded colleague if they felt 'picked on' should have said something to manager. Manager emails out 'some people aren't able to take this at this time, it's as fair as it can be blah blah'.

Either way, right way or not, they have shut down the conversation about who's excluded from tasks. Oh and of course everyone knows the 'discipline' actions taken.

Your case, it seems, they aren't doing anything to shut down the discussion, and this colleague is messaging you privately. They really should be cracking down and confirming everyone is working to their capacity and unfortunately 'some' I.e. you aren't able to access everything they need right now.

But then it does look like it's a single colleague targeting you...perhaps these words have already been said, hence why they are saying ignore, as they might give up...I'd say you don't know what is said to them privately but then again everyone knows the 'discipline' the others received so you would probably know something.

Tell your boss you are not happy, advise you have tried to ignore but it's hard to communicate about anything else with their constant insistence on the matter. Ask outright if your boss could maybe have a word with them, and/or address it directly in the next meeting. Might well be easier to say 'yes, it's me with the system issues, let not pretend its someone IT are at x stage and we are chasing'