It happened nearly 9 years ago, it was a close, much older family member. Nothing extreme happened as I excused myself and pretended I needed the toilet but it was sick considering who that person is.
I was barely an adult and completely compartmentalised it and for some strange reason forgot it instantly until I realised what happened 4 years later, never said a peep to anyone. I had to ask myself if I imagined it and I still ask myself that today and second guess, I feel like I completely detached from it.
But that person is still in my life albeit I see them very rarely. I nearly told DP yesterday as the subject of sexual assault came up in a discussion about certain events and he outright asked me if I ever experienced some form of inappropriate unwanted contact, he became concerned but I wouldn't tell him who, when and what. I told him I don't want to talk about it and that I'm fine and it was nothing major. But it's brought things bubbling to the surface and I feel sick today and like I have a weight on my chest.
I feel like I will never tell anyone the truth as I can't face the upset and fallout it will cause. I keep flipping between "people need to know" and "it was such a minor thing I shouldn't be stirring things up".
I don't know what I hoped to achieve with this I just needed to let it out..