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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not make DS do his art lessons - distance learning

61 replies

cottonwoolbrain · 01/02/2021 14:08

I hate art. I can't do it (my art teacher always told me I was useless at it and he didn't know why he bothered teaching me) and he shows absolutely not the slightest bit of interest in the work and I've got none either.

I get him to do PE work out videos, English, Maths, Science, Geography and history and encourage him to do drama and music but I'm actually sitting in another room crying because I have no idea where to start with art I've got a job of my own to do and I'm so tired. I do make sure he's got all the eqipment and logs into the art lesson but I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT MAKE HIM DO THE WORK.

Last week I got an email from his art teacher asking where his work was... I DO NOT FUCKING CARE... what's the bloody point anyway ? (same applies to fcking PHSE that's a pile of crp too)

I don't even know what he's doing right now but I do know that he didn't manage to finish either English or Maths earlier so we need to play catch up with those in a bit.

He's 8, he's a good boy and dd 15 is great as well but I can't do this any more. DPs at work so can't help

I can't do this anymore... my job.. distance learning... constant demands for food... all the extra washing and cleaning.. .let alone another month. I'm broken.. so broken..

It feels like there's no end in sight.. it's not going to be March 8th...they're gooing to roll it back and back until they've missed teh whole year.. .and next year and next year and next year...

can't take it any more

And I'm not going to force him to do his art :( :(

OP posts:

Knittedfairies · 01/02/2021 15:10

I'm curious to know what the art work was; I can well remember my daughter, aged about 15, getting really upset that she couldn't do her art homework, which was to paint a picture of the garden in the style of Paul Gaugin. I thought it ridiculous for many reasons - and said so - the main one being that we live in the grey East Midlands not French Polynesia. She did her best but the teacher declared it 'infantile'. It didn't harm her future career but it knocked her confidence. I wish I'd told her not to bother with it.

Ilovemaisie · 01/02/2021 15:15

You could watch Art Ninja on CBBC for a bit of inspiration. I believe that even counts as part of the BBC's educational output.

hauntedvagina · 01/02/2021 15:45

We do all lessons except PE. I'm not about to spend the afternoon in the freezing cold throwing a fucking ball.

Don't get me wrong, if DS wanted to do it, I would.

I can't ever imagine him wanting to do GSCE PE and in all my years of recruitment, never did I ask a candidate how far they could throw a ball.

midnightstar66 · 01/02/2021 16:47

Don't worry about the art, and stop stressing about feeding them too. At 8 and 15 they can get their own breakfast and lunch

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 01/02/2021 16:53

Right there with you OP (except for the pressure from school, as we don't have any live lessons and the work isn't even marked! Whole other thread there)

If anything gets dropped it's art. Today he was supposed to do some shit with paper craft.

RE and computing I will let slide too (he's more Tec savvy than most adults so I don't think learning how to use a search engine is really required)

All I ask is that he does the English, Maths and one subject in the afternoon (so History, science whatever has been set)

Oh and PE can fuck off too, we go for a walk that day

Londonmummy66 · 01/02/2021 17:24

With no disrespect to art teachers (I've taught music and I think that the same can apply) art is not an important subject to any one except those who are good enough to do it really well. It should go to the back of the queue behind subjects where he needs to work like English and Maths. So many art/music/PE teachers etc make such a huge fuss about how important it is that their work is done when it isn't.
DC1 was off school for 3 weeks due to an operation in Yr8. HOY asked all teachers to send her details of work that absolutely needed to be done. Most teachers told her it was all stuff that could be missed, Maths suggested just answering the odd numbered questions unless she found something difficult, history and biology teachers said just to read the chapter in the text book but don't bother with the exercises. Art teacher said homework set HAD to be done..... err no it didn't.

redsquirrelfan · 01/02/2021 17:43

As for not being good at art, your art teacher was wrong. Everyone can be good at art once they’ve learned the techniques

My husband claims this too. It is nonsense. You need a good eye and that is something I do not have (better at music, utterly rubbish at anything arty or crafty). You can be taught to be better at art but you need the raw talent.

Anyway to go back to the OP - don't get yourself worked up and definitely not over art! My goodness he is only 8. Teacher shouldn't be worrying about it either.

KeyboardWorriers · 01/02/2021 17:48

I am terrible at art, or at least I thought I was.
But DS was the same hated art, would do anything to avoid doing it. Yet he has just done an Outschool class (live small group) teaching and drawing be most amazing picture today. Let me know if you would like a link to try a class for free

He has also recently enjoyed some Rob Biddulph videos in school.

So just because he thinks he can't doesn't mean he can't! My son has blown me away with what he can do with some decent teaching (not from me )

Sweettea1 · 01/02/2021 17:52

I've told my ds he doesn't have todo art he has never liked even when little he never liked to draw/paint. He will drop it next year away so am not gonna waste time arguing over it.

KeyboardWorriers · 01/02/2021 17:54

That said, I don't think it is worth falling out with him over. Maybe suggest a different creative activity instead so he has a choice?

Crampon · 01/02/2021 17:54

Oh stuff the art. Maybe do a bit with your DH when you've had a glass of wine or two - but it's not worth stressing over and not having art GCSE won't stop most jobs like maths and English will.

Meerkatmummy4 · 01/02/2021 17:54

Dp and my son both detest art and it shows in the lacklustre offerings i get ready to upload for teachers. To be honest our main focus is maths and phonics and if he's up for it comprehension as far as it is for reception age 🙄

WutheringTights · 01/02/2021 18:03

I think most people are missing the point. This isn't about art, it's about the relentlessness of working full time whilst homeschooling small children. We're all knackered. I'm exactly at my limit. This is my five minute break before going back to it. I homeschool all morning, make lunch then try to do an hours work before picking up the youngest from nursery. I then work for an hour or so before making dinner, then doing bedtime etc. Then I work until at least midnight. Every fucking day. It's unsustainable.

I think we'll be ending homeschool in March, whether they're back in school or not. They can read, do some maths apps and any homework they can access themselves without my input. And that's it. The last thing they need is a burnt out, exhausted mum losing her job or having a breakdown.

Coffeeandaride · 01/02/2021 18:06

Message back "wasn't possible this week, in future weeks will only be able to get this done if circumstances allow" and then don't give it anymore thought, he can do art when school starts back.

Coffeeandaride · 01/02/2021 18:07

Its only one thing off the list but IMO def can be taken off!

GameSetMatch · 01/02/2021 18:12

Forget the art unless he’s interested and wants to do it, I’ve passed on music we are all crap at music and I love my son but he’s no musician! Do what you need to get yourself through.

WaterBottle123 · 01/02/2021 18:12

We're only doing the work I consider educational and that actually has some thought behind it. So all English and maths. Sadly no science as faith school doesn't consider it core.

We don't do RE or any task that involves 'making a poster' or 'doing your own research' as the kids are 10, and this kind of task is just lazy on the part of the teacher. Bloody teach her!

We do art but only because DD absolutely loves it. Otherwise I one hundred percent wouldn't give it a second thought.

lanthanum · 01/02/2021 18:14

Dear art teacher,

As you probably know, lockdown learning is not the easiest thing to manage, and puts a lot of strain on family relationships. We've decided that it's best to "choose our battles" and make sure that he at least gets his other work completed.

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 01/02/2021 18:22

Anyone think the art teacher had a choice about sending out the email? Teachers will all have been asked to flag up non-engagement.
I don't understand an 8 year old following what seems to be a secondary timetable.
I am not "good" at art in the slightest but I think being creative can be a great outlet - might not be through art but it could be. I don't think parents should pass on their own negative feelings about subjects. Dh often says he hated maths to the dc and I think that is just setting them up to dislike it.

RickiTarr · 01/02/2021 18:27

Not worth the upset. It’s not a core subject.

Viciouslybashed · 01/02/2021 18:28

I agree with most posters that you are being too hard on yourself.. Sod the art. I would do an honest reply along the lines of you are working flat out and feeling v fragile and you will do what you can manage. Seems entirely reasonable to not be able to do it all. For snacks I would sort a pile that they can help themselves to.

CorvusPurpureus · 01/02/2021 18:35

Three possibilities:

art teacher thinks you don't know ds is doing the work, & doesn't want an angry email from you to HT complaining that he hasn't apparently been taught one of his subjects in lockdown
teacher has been told to monitor engagement & is being bollocked by SLT as this is lower than in other subjects which must mean they're doing a crap job, look at Ms Bloggs who teaches maths, 80% of her set work gets handed in!
teacher is genuinely being a total jobsworth off their own bat.

Whatever - I'd email back saying politely that you're aware, but focusing on core subjects.

No one is going to turn up & superglue a paintbrush to ds's hand!

I get it as I get similar all the time, & I teach at their bloody school! .

My dc are older but I've made it clear that the one who is below 'options' age will be focusing on core subjects & then on other subjects she enjoys & will pursue later.

CorvusPurpureus · 01/02/2021 18:36

'Ds is not doing the work' - fat fingers.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 01/02/2021 18:41

The teacher is probably required to check in. My 8 yr old is just getting on with it and shouting if there's a tech problem. If I got to half term and discovered through the interim reports that she hadn't been engaging and handing work in, I'd be pissed off that they hadn't flagged it.

So just say that you are focussing on core subjects, it's best endeavours only on xyz. They'll simply say, that's fine and we'll just skip giving you an effort grade on his art work for the term. From your comments you won't be remotely fussed? They're not mind readers though.

No teacher likes to feel their subject is non core but c'est la vie right now.

853ax · 01/02/2021 18:42

Don't worry about it, let him do the work he wants to do. Teachers dont really care if children do the work they just have to assign a variety of tasks and follow up to make sure pupil understands what they want done. They also correct submitted work but I really dont think teacher is bothered that a child did not do some work.
Ive a child who never even opens/reads the PE and spend most day doing art

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