To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

It all depends on the child they all develop at different rates some excel with certain skills others excel in different ways.
FWIW my DD could say well over 300 words and speak short sentences at 1 eg we know she said 'Airplane up there' on her first birthday as I wrote all new words she learned each day in a diary - all the info came in useful for her A level English funnily enough! I also spoke sentences early and was a mere 9 months apparently when I said 'I dike dat' about treacle tart (parents never let me forget it). However she was well behind her peers on walking, although she could get up and walk holding on before 1 she didn't walk on her own without holding on to something till 14 months.

For every statistic that is the average, so you'll get people right at one end and others at the other end. So 13 months or 26 months, or somewhere in the middle most kids will learn to speak

What this mum doesn't know is that exceptional intelligence (if saying 106 words at 13 months old is exceptional intelligence) usually has a flip side.

DS1 taught himself to read fluently at 3. I'm a teacher so this set off alarm bells. He's now 8 and has an Aspergers (Autism Level 1) and moderate ADHD diagnosis.

Exceptional precocity usually goes hand in hand with neurodiversity. She might have some quite big challenges in life as a neurodiverse person.

I wouldn't dismiss it until you've seen some evidence! When you start meeting up again as a group, you'll soon see if her child's verbal development is ahead of the norm. What's unbelievable is that she's posted about it! Who does that?

Ds1 was an early talker. I didn't have the inclination or time to document it, but I do remember the health visitor being surprised, not so much that he could talk in sentences, but that he could identify the letters of the alphabet, out of sequence, at 18m. (No hothousing from me, btw - no energy! I found motherhood v tiring ) Ds2 on the other hand was so late talking by comparison - he didn't have many words by 2 - that I was panicking, got his hearing tested etc. Health visitor said not to worry.
They both recently got degrees, so it really doesn't matter and all evens out in the end

@HettieMillia, a lot of people don't, possibly more than do. Overall communication and understanding is more important than how many actual words.

To be fair I have a very advanced talker, she could speak probably about 50 words by 1 but didn’t walk till 15months. By 2 she could say well over 200+ words and speak in 4/5 word sentences. She is now 2.7 yrs and you can have a fluent conversation, speaks in 8-10 word sentences. I think she’s pretty advanced but she is so clumsy and was lazy with physical milestones. So 100 words at 13 months probably isn’t that strange however most of them are probably gibberish.

My 18 month old has no properly understandable words!

Seems really sad to me. Woe betide you if your child is ahead of a milestone. To be publicly proud is very distasteful. One must never mention it to others for fear of being called a boasty insensitive fibber.

I'm not bothered if she wants to share her childs milestones. We were all very impressed when her daughter walked so early but this honestly just seems like she posted simply so she could brag. There was no context, no one had asked about how the babies were doing or how many words they could say. She simply posted WOW X can now say 106 words!!!

DS1 walked at 9 months, had a huge vocabulary at 13 months and could read at 3 (not learned words, proper blending).

I hate when people say this. My DS could also "read at 3". He was 3 and 9m (ie nearer 4). and could blend words easily. There's a huge leap between that and having the stamina to manage a whole book. I would never describe it as him "reading at 3", I would say he got the hang of blending at nearly 4.

Theres such a huge gap in the capabilities of a just turned 3 year old and one approaching 4, it's not meaningful to describe a child reading at 3.

My daughter is 14 months and has about 1 word 'dada' that seems to be being used correctly, the rest is just babble.

My DS was quite advanced in speech and even he didn't have much to say until he was 18 months. By two he had 300 distinct words and nursery considered that to be above average.

There is more to it than just words though, the DS above had a huge vocabulary but didn't speak in complex sentences particularly early. His brother, on the other hand, had far fewer words but constructed quite complicated sentences and had an understanding of language that was much more nuanced even at a young age.

They both were recorded as above average in ability for speech at nursery/preschool but neither had many words at 13 months.

@Thedarknightsarelifting

I found it was swings and roundabouts with each of our DC’s developmental milestones. DS1 walked at 10mths, babbled and could kick a ball by 13mths. DD3 could say mummy cake pwease on her 1st birthday and her speech continued to progress well (not to the op’s friends level by any stretch) She couldn’t crawl until she was 18mths and walked at 22.5mths.

Every child is individual. Boastful parents are not friends.

A friend’s tiny child enlivened a party by strolling up to the table demanding ‘cake mummy’. Mummy firmly said no. Child said very clearly ‘All gone. Oh bugger.’

"Who on earth counts past the first ten (twenty at the outside)?!

Who doesn't"

99% of people, I'd say.

It's not impossible. Dd was speaking in 3 word sentences by about that age, people commented on how good her talking was. She started at about 9 months and still hasn't stopped blabbering on now she's nearly 12. However, it took her to 4 until she could jump with 2 feet of the ground and she still struggles to catch a ball and to be honest, I never counted how many words she could say. Compared with her little sister, who talked later, but climbed out her cot at about 11 months old and still behaves like a chimpanzee and climbs at every opportunity.

Children don't develop at the same rate and develop different skills at different times.

Although, it sounds like the issue is more to at the mum is boasting rather than her child having 106 words.

I would imagine my eldest would have been along those lines, but I have no idea as I'm not crazy enough to count them. The second child didn't speak for much longer as he was too busy creating mayhem and enjoying himself. They are both very normal teens now.

Reminds me of meeting someone who had counted their child's teeth and was quite insistently asking me how many mine had, as if it was a competition. Well done mate, your child grew an incisor a week before mine. (wtf).

lot of people don't, possibly more than do. Overall communication and understanding is more important than how many actual words.

I probably did because DC1 did have so many words at a young age and it was exciting to see how much they had learnt. I didn't need to with dc2, they didn't have any words to count for a long time.

Sorry, my point is, that 'knowing loads of words' at 13 months isn't the only indicator of having good speech. So don't worry if yours doesn't.

It is possible. One of my DC had over 100 words by 15 months. And for those saying who would count them, I was asked the number of words by the Health Visitor. And when I said 100's she agreed and noted it down. And for pp saying maybe a child could say "ball" but not have a meaning for it and not associate it with the thing, no, DC's words were all used with meaning, not randomly repeated.
So all this poor mother has done is likely stated fact about her child.

My dd was very verbal at one, at 3 her language skills were measured at that of a 12 year old by speech and language therapists, she was going through diagnosis for Aspergers at the time and was diagnosed at 4. She’s now 17 and still never shuts up 🤣

My other dd was non verbal until 4 years (also autistic).

So yes, it’s possible.

The reason its not the done thing to boast about baby milestones is because honestly they are meaningless. Ds walked at 11m.his cousin walked at 17m. Now a few years on his cousin is by far the better physically, he is a fast runner, has excellent balance and is very clearly of a higher sporting aptitude than my DS. Similarly he spoke much earlier than my DS but now later on there's zero difference.

Another nephew was an astonishingly early reader and writer, actually over the years his peers have steadily caught up and now it's obvious that he's good at that but not exceptional, and his real talent is in maths which was totally unapparent when he was younger.

Your early talker could easily turn out to be not terribly bright academically. Your early walker may actually be clumsy and shit at sport like my DS.

No set rule about whether they do everything early or just one thing. And in some circumstances there might be a rationale for keeping tabs. Sometimes extremely early development in one area can be associated with difficulties in another area or lead to problems later on. What you don't have to do, of course, is share this information with the world.

And for those saying who would count them, I was asked the number of words by the Health Visitor

Oh yes, I'd forgotten this. The health visitor did used to ask. That's why I so carefully counted. Presume they don't ask anymore then if people are so surprised by it.

I knew a baby that had clear words (about 3) at six months old. It was totally bizarre.

It's very unusual but not impossible. Maybe if it's her first child she doesn't realise how unusual.

And I also counted my kids words, I wanted to be able to look back and see what they were! But I stopped around 100 because they pick them up so fast then it becomes impossible. Also other milestones like putting words together become the focus.

I can't imagine myself getting this "pissed off" OP about another mum saying there child can say 106 words.

All children are different, some can say lots of words others can't, it doesn't mean your child "should" be able to.

It's sad that people take things like this as a bad thing to them, if someone says my kid walked at 7 months and they are happy about it, I think that's nice, not that she is shoving it at me or my kid as a negative comparison.

So all this poor mother has done is likely stated fact about her child.

Cheshire there's a big difference between a 15m old and a 13m old. Language comes in explosions.i can believe a 15m old (girl especially) would have had one and have 100 words. I just dont believe a 13m old says 100 distinct words with consistent meaning. And if they really do, who cares? Quite clearly few babies speak much til several months later so it literally is just boasting - not an attractive quality.

It doesn’t really matter. I’d just say ‘oh that’s a lot for 13 months’.
I’d say it’s unusual though. One of my children’s vocabularies was apparently ‘advanced’ for their age. It’s hard to say that without coming across like a complete dick. 🤣 But it was, the health visitors thought it was amazing as she spoke very clearly as well. 🤣 But she still couldn’t say anywhere near 106 words at that age.