To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

I’m laughing that she’s kept count! Who the hell knows that specifically after about 10 words? My oldest had a lot by about 15 months and I suspect more than 100 but I couldn’t say with much more accuracy than that!

You’re own DC must also be quite advanced if they are already say more words than you can keep count of. The baby with 8 words is much more normal - I don’t think DS had any recognisable words at that age.

Haha not advanced at all here. It's not that mine has so many I lost count it's more it never occured to me to start counting in the first place. At a guess I'd say mine has about 6 or 7 words another adult would recognise.

To count them is a bit wierd!
Having said that DS, could speak quite clearly and in proper sentences by 18m, but I have no idea how many words that was.

As a PP said "Comparison is the thief of joy"

Never ever compare your child to another!

You will get this now FOREVER!!

Random new woman on work - So what does your daughter do? Mine has 8 houses travels the world daily and earns £43 million a month.

Me - that's nice dear.

Also remember this applies to Mnet, a speech therapist has already confirmed the usual number of words, so take what posters say with a HUGE pinch of salt.

Anyway get your big girl pants on, wait until they go start primary school! That's where the REAL competitive parenting comes to fore!!

I'm inclined to think there is some traction to your theory that these words are not actually in context e.g seeing a ball and staying ball is different in my mind to being shown a ball, an adult saying ball and the child repeating the word.

My dds definitely used the words correctly at this age. I can remember going to a friends when dd2 was about 13 months, dd1 had gone upstairs with my friends daughter and dd2 cane up to me and said “where (dd1‘s name) gone?”

As a family my siblings and I and my own dds were all really early meeting our baby mile stones. We were early to smile, sit, walk and talk. I don’t know the reason why and we certainly didn’t end up be exceptional. Just early developers that levelled out.

My third dc could clearly say milk, yes, no and sister at 7 months old. I have no idea how many words she could say at 13 months cause she was my third and it never occurred to me to count. She could definitely string two words together too- "bye bye mummy" that sort thing.

My first had 4 or 5 distinct words when she turned 2 and was referred to SALT.

They both never shut the fuck up now

He had a little friend who had her first word at 7m. She was definately speaking sentences (and toliet trained) by 13m.

Yes, I think it's possible. No, she doesn't need to tell you. No, your friend doesn't need to worry about her child because of it and no, you don't need to be angry about it. Words aren't finite - her child isn't taking away your child's words, so it doesn't really matter, does it?

When my son turned 18 months there was a tv show on about babies that some of my NCT group watched. They were commenting as the show was on and one wrote "200 words by 18 months? Wtf?!" I wasn't watching the show but watched it later on catchup. 200 words at 18 months is very advanced, but to me it seemed normal because I had a very chatty child. So I made a list and did count them up for my own curiosity. He could say over 200 words at that age, but I know how worried I was about other things as a first time mum and wouldn't have thought about telling the rest of the group his word count as a) I don't want to start comparing and b) this sort of information is only really of interest to me and my family (or on anonymous internet posts!). And as bright as I think my DC is (which he is 😜), this doesn't stop him licking lampposts or eating dirt or picking his nose when we are out in public so I don't think anyone would believe me if I did tell them how "advanced" he was! 😂

It is possible but would be very unusual. I went to loads of groups when my daughter was that age and didn’t meet a child under 18 months who could say more than a handful of words. Some people like to show off though and I honestly think some people ‘hear’ their kids saying words that outsiders definitely do not.

I have a FB friend with a child the same age as mine. She used to post all sorts of rubbish about the things she claimed he was doing from just a few weeks old - including saying his first word at about 8 weeks. If you took it seriously you’d think this child was going to be a genius. Posts like that tailed off when he got to about 2 and she actually admitted on a recent post that he, aged 3, is still barely talking. I honestly think she thought he was doing these amazing things but if anyone else had heard him I’m sure they would have just heard the normal coos and babbles of a baby.

I always think that even if your child is brilliant it’s best to downplay these things as it does not win you friends. I’m on a parenting group on FB of parents of kids the same age and when they were all about 2 one mum posted a video of their child using some computer game to spell words in a ‘my child is obsessed with this game, too much screen time, I feel so guilty’ kind of post when really what she was saying was ‘look what a genius my child is, I need to show off.’ I thought it was very unhelpful of her as there were plenty of parents in the group whose kids were, at the time, not saying a word let alone knowing letters and being able to spell!

@maddening

Has she actually implied that everyone else's baby is slow? Or. Just.posted about her own baby and. You have taken that as implication that she has? What has she said to imply that?

Waging a war against her by posting here and sending to members of the group secretly will possibly kill the group, it is quite an unpleasant move Imo. She may be boasting or just telling the truth. The other mother is also overly sensitive and over reacted imo.

Its the feigned suprise that she's responded with when the younger mum has messaged and said her child only has about 8 words. I'm not doing this to be mean if it was just me it would go in one ear and out the other but it's clearly boastful and she's not at all sorry she's caused the otuer parent to panic that her child isn't saying as many words.

There was honestly no need for her to post, surely bragging about stuff like this is kept to grandparents and partners?

I've worked with children for 15 years, most of that time with babies- I can't say I've ever come across this before. Not saying it's impossible of course but must be incredibly rare? Plenty of babies that age don't say any recognisable words at all!

I had a ridiculously early talker. I don't know how many words at that stage, but certainly talking in sentences well before 18 months. I probably did keep a list! But I really hope I wasn't 'that' mother!

As a first time mum during the pandemic with limited contact with other children, I think you probably fail to see the mantra that every child is different! Sorry!

In my antenatal group (7+ years ago) there was indeed a baby at 13 months who spoke tons of full words - not unlike your friend claims! It didn't mean anything in the long run and I didn't compare my child to hers (my child was crawling 'early' and walking earlier than hers but these milestones happen eventually!). Likewise when I had my second baby I assumed wrongly everything would be the same as the first, no way. Second child learned to speak in a very different way to the first (no babbling, just full words when ready).

Every child is different - it doesn't matter and it's not exactly boasting if she's just reporting fact. This year must have been very very hard to be a first time parent on maternity leave as you get less face to face contact and all this virtual chat can be misinterpreted.

I think it's not outside the realms of the possible, but normal at this age is a very wide range indeed. I had two chatterboxes - both talking in sentences by 20 months, clearly enough that other people could understand. They were both on the late side potty training so swings and roundabouts.

By the time they hit primary school age you really can't tell who talked early and who didn't.

I counted my pfb words at 19 months She had over 100. One of her baby friends spoke much earlier and probably had that at 13 months.

Dd2 couldn't say two syllable words until she was 3 and now at 5 still has a speech delay and is not that understandable to strangers. She's making progress though.

It really doesn't matter, they all get there in the end.

It's perfectly possible. But completely irrelevant.
The worrying thing from your post is that one of the other mothers is 'understandably freaking out'
Complete over reaction. The only response is 'that's nice dear'
The other mother needs help with anxiety and quickly.

Mine didn’t, but definitely one of my children said a lot of words by that age. It’s possible but not normal, and definitely nothing to worry about if they are saying just a few words.

Well yes but not letting people know can lead to problems too. I had a NCT buddy whom I met up with when the babies were about 15m. We went to the park, DS was into everything running, climbing etc. Her little one was just crawling. She was like " why didn't you tell me ?"

You know this is her first baby too. She doesn't know any different. She may well not have intended to brag but obviously it's come off that way. Assuming she's bullshitting isn't nice, you haven't been together no one has had time around other children to compare. There's a good Facebook group called Raising Poppies that the lady with the very chatty toddler may find useful as if she does have a poppy on her hands life will have lots of other challenges. As for the rest, they all develop differently so the younger mum needs to be supported to not worry about it.

I used to keep a note of my PFBs words - the What To Expect books have a list of milestones listed by “should”, “probably”, “possibly”, “may even” (which I dimly recall correspond vaguely to 90%, 50%, 25%, 10% of the population) which includes number of intelligible words, so that gave me the idea of keeping track. Life with a single toddler can be pretty dull at times and writing down one hundred words in a baby book over a period of four months is not exactly time consuming - it also probably keeps you more focussed and really listening to their speech which can only be a good thing.

My autistic DC was at the high end of normal but not extreme, with maybe ten or twenty words by the age of one and 150 by 18 months? I can definitely imagine that a baby at the far end of the bell curve could have that many by 13 months.

welcome to the world of competitive parenting

Ignore and concentrate on your own child what does it matter. Some children progress at a quicker pace and some parents have a tendency to exaggerate (some to a ridiculous level you know the kind also have the best fitted kitchens, husband has the highest earning or most stressful job, go on the best holidays)

It's possible but uncommon. Reassure your friend that her child is well within normal limits.
My first baby shocked creche when at 2 years old she told them how her cousin in America has bought her her new green shoes. Full story about the cousins name, city they live in, how she would have had to go to post office etc.
My second baby at 2 years old could say "ball" and "juice".
Its not (generally) a reflection on parenting and I'd be more worried about the kid whose mum counts 106 words (the pressure that kid will always have to be the best) than the child with totally normal language development.

Stuff like this infuriates me. My little boy was an early talker and said lots of clearly understandable words by that age. Was it 106? I have no idea! It never occurred to me to actually count them, let alone boast about it to other mums. Who has the time to actually sit and work out exactly how many words their child can say?! This strikes me as barmy behaviour and quite honestly can have no purpose other than to brag and make others feel bad. It's swings and roundabouts though isn't it. My DS was a brilliant talker, but he didn't really sit unsupported until 8 months; others were doing it at 4 or 5. It's not a competition!

My son knew over 300 words at 16 months (Counted after a conversation with a health visitor who was curious). He knew his colours and the alphabet which he learnt from kids TV and would shout out the letters on the shopping in the supermarket. One well meaning old lady stopped and said he's a child genius and we ought to get him in one of those special schools. Yeah, he's a a special school now - for children with autism.

Nobody in their right mind would actually count the words, tho

Oh no, I must be some kind of madwoman, as I did count all the words DS said at 23 months. It wasn’t actually particularly time-consuming and I thought more in the interests of science! It was easy because he said individual words distinctly but wasn’t stringing them together yet. Someone must have been there before as there are definitely charts that say what is average/normal.