AIBU to extend maternity leave due to pandemic?

[Bivvy]

Background: I am a professional working for employer since graduating, was doing ok and working my way up the ladder. Wasn’t sure I wanted kids but got pregnant 2019. Was happy about this. Agreed I’d take 9 month maternity leave. Covid hit in my third trimester of pregnancy. Worked from home (very very stressful often worked 12 hour days, kept all of my targets etc) until 39 weeks pregnancy. Went on maternity leave June 2020 and had baby 3 days later.

I have found being a first time mother during the pandemic hard. I had a few good times in August/September 2020 but other than than I’ve been n tier 3 or 4 lockdown throughout and unable to See friends/family or do many activities with my little one that I’d hoped for. We’ve missed out on all the usual mother and baby groups etc. I’ve made no mum friends 😔

Current dilemma: my mat leave ends March, annual leave until early May. I believe I’m legally entitled to 12 months plus annual leave and am thinking of taking the extra 3 months off. This would be unpaid and a struggle but I feel like I’ve missed out due to restrictions and il never get this time back so those extra 3 months in the spring/early summer may go a long way to help me make some memories with baby before going back to work. Restrictions may be relaxed then, or even if they are not the better weather alone will allow for better days- even if just playing in the garden or going to parks.
Problem is this will not be popular with my manager and may damage my career prospects. They are waiting for my return to implement team changes etc. They won’t like it. it makes me feel guilty like I’m letting them down. (Thinking of returning 4 days although yet to confirm this either as not sure if they will agree)

I’m torn between wanting this extra time with my baby and wanting to protect my career

AIBU to take the extra mat leave?

In your shoes I would 100% do it.

I would take it. From my experience I took 14 months both times and I don’t feel it made any difference once I had been back a few months. The people it matters most to are you and your baby. Everyone else it is only a blip worthy of a few days thought if that.

I'd definitely do it.

Yanbu. Once you’ve gone over six months, you might as well take the full twelve.

Do it, but try to work together with your manager. You might be able to do some keeping in touch days also, which are good for money and also mean you can do training etc before an official return. Like you, I worked until the end with my first baby, then felt pressure to return early - wish I hadn't, you never get that time back.

If there are redundancies coming, then do tread carefully, but also be aware that you do have some protections, ACAS has more details. If it's not that, then I'd say if they've waited for 9 months they can wait a few more. You can also use your leave - especially if youve got a lot banked up (they should be accruing your annual leave while on paid maternity), it can work for everyone. Save some to allow for illness at the childminder etc etc but if you have a lot to use, you could for example officially return at 11 months then use 3-4 weeks of leave to make it paid, then they also don't need to.worry that you'll be taking long holidays all year too.

Could you not just tell them you really can’t go back as you have no childcare and you wouldn’t be able to meet targets, earliest you can get them into childcare is x date? But also I would say I don’t think the restrictions will lift much in the spring /summer.

I’m considering similar, OP, though a little later in the year. It’s not ideal, but I don’t want to feel bitter for the rest of my life.