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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WWYD?

22 replies

MaxThePasta · 31/01/2021 20:00

So I know there are a lot of ifs and buts and it's absolutely not guaranteed but just curious what others would do/feel in this situation.

Basically we are due a baby very soon.

Due to a medical condition I will likely need to be induced and I have been discussing this with my midwife and consultant.

Basically one of the days they have mentioned to me is my birthday! (Close to my due date so always a possibility anyway).

DH of the opinion that it would be nice to share a birthday with our DC, I'm not so sure and tbh think it would be the end of me ever celebrating my own birthday again! 😂

As I say, none of this is guaranteed I'm well aware and could happen anyway, I'm not overly bothered, but just interested what others would think about this possible situation!

YABU - it would be nice to share a birthday with your DC and have a special day together.

YANBU - you would prefer to have separate birthdays if even only a few days apart.

OP posts:

hangaround · 31/01/2021 20:02

As a parent it might be lovely but as a kid (especially a teen) I wouldn't want to share a birthday with my parent if it could be avoided.

latheritup · 31/01/2021 20:03

I wouldn't be too bothered

Dimpous · 31/01/2021 20:03

My DD is born the day after my birthday, I had to have a csection as she was breach and by dates it should have been on my birthday! I am convinced the admin booking in took pity and moved it to the next day I will say it does mean I tend to be spending my birthday prepping for hers which does change the feeling of my day (making Jelly and party bags!) If I could have chosen I think the day before would be better as then I could relax the next day eating cake whilst she plays with new toys. Good luck!

whoamongstus · 31/01/2021 20:07

I'd want it to be another day!

For both your sake - when they're little, you'll never get to celebrate your own, then there'll be an age where they don't want to share the day with you. Then when you have big birthdays and they're older, they'll feel obliged to do big birthday plans with you instead of seeing their friends or vice versa... It sounds silly saying out loud 'I don't want to share my birthday' but I would definitely not want to haha.

I don't know how these things work, if you asked veeeeery nicely would they move it back/forward a day?

Imapotato · 31/01/2021 20:12

Not much is about you once you have kids. It’s nice to at least have your birthday to yourself.

Lancrelady80 · 31/01/2021 20:17

You'll lose your birthday, pure and simple.

An ex of mine shared bday with his dad. All balloons and bunting and fanfare for him but dad got not much more than a card.

Seriously, avoid!

Tempusfudgeit · 31/01/2021 20:19

My first was born the day after my birthday, after a 40-hr labour. Worst birthday ever! I like it, as I get older my birthday is less important and I can focus everyone's attention onto his.

My second was born via CS, the date was coincidentally (?) the same date as my booking consultant's!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 31/01/2021 20:23

I think it’s quite nice, I don’t think being a day or so or part would avoid the emphasis around that time being shared

IMightCry · 31/01/2021 20:24

Id hate it personally but I already share my birthday with everyone as its Christmas day. 😂

chillied · 31/01/2021 20:24

Try for the day before... but not if there's any danger of the labour lasting into your birthday! Maybe 2 days before

angelopal · 31/01/2021 20:26

Don't do it. I share mine with one of mine. It's all about him which is fine and how it should be but mine does get forgotten about a bit.

Not precious about birthdays but think bits better if everyone has their own day.

Popcorn24 · 31/01/2021 20:26

My 3rd baby is due 3 days after my birthday, I suddenly thought the other day what happens if they arrive on my birthday 🤦‍♀️

SeasonFinale · 31/01/2021 20:29

I was induced on a Saturday and baby arrived Monday. There will still be no guarantee as to when the baby arrives whatever day you are induced.

CaptainMerica · 31/01/2021 20:31

Will you be term when you get induced? I was induced twice (although 36 weeks both times) and both times it took 3 days from getting the pessary to getting the drip. So I wouldn't be too worried if you are admitted that day.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 31/01/2021 20:31

I share a birthday with one of my kids and I like it. He's still little though so I don't know what he'll think as he gets older. I'm happy to take a back seat though. I'd never be a birthday-zilla and insist on my limelight

Rubytinsleslippers · 31/01/2021 20:33

I share my birthday. Never a problem. Always 2 cakes!!

Messyplayallday · 31/01/2021 20:34

My DD arrived on my birthday she was overdue, it’s okay so far but she’s still little so I have no idea how she will feel as she gets older. For me, it’s a nice memory - I loved my birth with her as it was quick, safe and beautiful but that doesn’t happen for many women so I am very thankful.I watch our video and go through photos by myself and with my DH. I love it.
I’m happy to turn all attention to her on our birthday so I’m okay with mine being forgotten and/or a ignored!
We did all natural inducing methods and nothing helped her come sooner, she arrived when she was ready - 2 hours after first contraction which happened after waters broke!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/01/2021 20:36

DM shares a birthday with her DM and they love it. I think as a parent/adult, your own birthday loses its shine a bit anyway.

BlueTimes · 31/01/2021 20:39

I would avoid it as well but also, inductions can take a few days. So if starting on your birthday, you’re more likely to give birth the day or two days afterwards.

SuperSquirrel · 31/01/2021 20:45

I had my son on my birthday nearly 2 years ago. My due date was a month after my birthday but I said all through my pregnancy he would arrive on my birthday and the little bugger did just that 😀

It’s not that bad sharing your birthday with your child in fact I think it’s rather nice. The older I get the less bothered I am about celebrating but now I get to share in my son’s excitement and as long as he enjoys our special day and I get a decent slice of birthday cake I’ll be happy 😊

EyesOfYuna · 31/01/2021 20:46

When I was due to be induced with my ds, I was offered the date of my dd's 3rd birthday. I asked to delay so I could avoid a joint birthday, which midwife agreed to and booked 2 days later.
Birthday arrived and, lo and behold, my waters went whilst opening presents and ds was born a few hours later.
Don't fret or try to plan too much is my advice, what will be will be.
For what it's worth, they love sharing a birthday (although I know that could change) and dd still says he was her best birthday present ever!
Good luck!

Original poster

MaxThePasta · 31/01/2021 22:46

Thanks! I'm aware that there is every possibility it can take days even with the induction so I can't guarantee any specific date. It was more just curiousity what others would choose if it were possible too to some degree I may see if I can push it a day back so there's no risk of it being on the day (outside of going into labour naturally obviously!!).

OP posts:

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