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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Differing attitudes to health

3 replies

toodleloooo · 31/01/2021 11:46

Would anyone else's DP have to have a limb falling off before they'd consider seeing a professional? Grin

I joke, but health is one area where I don't think DP and I see eye to eye at all.

If I have unusual symptoms that last more than a few weeks, a month, I will book in a GP's appointment. Doesn't happen that often - maybe three times in the last five years or so. Separately, I don't really express much anxiety around health to DP; I might just mention if I have a strange symptom in passing.

However, the last time something came up and they couldn't find a cause, he started calling me his "little hypochondriac". Not in a spiteful way really, just teasing, but it did frustrate me a bit. The symptom was unusual and persistent enough that it apparently warranted a hospital test, even though it came back negative.

Then last night out of the blue I felt really off. Very weak and queasy with a racing heart and it gradually built up over a couple of hours. I called 111 who said to go to A&E. Nothing obvious found but more tests to be done as there is a congenital heart issue in the family.

DP asked if I wanted him to drive me to the hospital (about 2am by this point) but said with closed eyes from bed so decided to leave him to it and get a taxi. Whilst I was heading out the door I mentioned his phone was dead and he said "oh you can charge it if you want".

I'm definitely more sensitive to health than he is, and perhaps slightly more than average, but I don't have form for panicking about it or even having that many issues that I get checked - just more than him. AIBU to feel his reaction was a bit dismissive? If he were going into hospital I would definitely make sure my phone were charged (I couldn't even use him as an emergency contact at the hospital) and I'm not sure I could sleep for news. He was asleep when I got back at 5an and only just recently woke up. His first comment was: "I'm tired - I didn't sleep that well". You and me both!

OP posts:
whoamongstus · 31/01/2021 14:22

You had symptoms bad enough that you were told to go to A&E in the middle of the night and your partner went back to sleep?

I'm pretty chill (and can't be arsed with hypochondriacs) but that is... horrendous.

corythatwas · 31/01/2021 14:27

I clicked on this thinking I was going to be ranting about how much I hate hypochondria- but this thread has nothing to do with it. What you did was not hypochondria, it was common sense, acting on medical advice. What your dh did was the action of a selfish twat.

I do have some issues with dh having been a bit of a hypochondriac when we were first married, which makes it harder to take him seriously now. But under those circumstances I'd have been bundling him out of the door- even more so if a woman, as heart attacks can present differently in women and are often missed.

ragged · 31/01/2021 14:28

You could see it as a strength that he is laid back. Is there actual high value in both of you being prone to worrying?

You're interpreting his lack of concern as = "He doesn't love me", aren't you? Even though you say he's like this about his own health, so it's his personality, not how much he cares about you.

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