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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeding time stress

1 reply

bingbong44 · 30/01/2021 19:25

My partner hates crumbs, glitter, dust, fluff, etc. He's very clean and hoovers a lot.sounds perfect but We have toddlers and they are messy eaters but I clean and hoover and mop after they have eaten. when my partner comes back or down in the morning he will redo all these things. the children have to stay in another room whilst he hoovers everywhere, and dinner time is always stressful he doesn't like me letting them feed themselves because they make a mess and after they have eaten he dusts them off and hoovers under them then let's them go in another room. My issue is that he won't speak to us if there's a mess and will swear and shout and throw things about (not at us, just in general) and generally make a bad atmosphere... I want him to stop and try and be more laid back in case they associate eating with being dirty, or something bad but he won't listen. I'm not sure if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill but I feel stressed when they have to eat because I know he'll be in a mood.

OP posts:
2020iscancelled · 30/01/2021 19:39

Oh no.
You’re not making a mountain out of a molehill at all.

I agree it is really annoying all the mess and food everywhere and crumbs all over the bloody floor - my walls are covered in fruit purée and yoghurt - but this is part of toddler life.

I wouldn’t dream of screaming and shouting and carrying on. And I wouldn’t tolerate my partner doing it either.

You need to address is because as you say, he is going to cause some sort of issue around food times for the kids. It’s really unfair for you all to be walking on eggshells because your partner thinks he’s Mr Hinch.

If I were you I’d tackle this at a neutral time, maybe when the kids are in bed and say you really want to talk about this, it’s concerning you and you don’t want to fight but it can’t carry on the way it is.

He may need some help to tackle his anger.

If he refuses to engage then you will need to decide if you want to live and have your kids live with someone who will rule by anger. I wouldn’t

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