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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

who is right?

19 replies

Frozenintime · 30/01/2021 19:08

Finding DH difficult at the moment. Since lockdown, he usually gets up late about 10 at the weekends. DS (14) has always been an early riser. DS has been on the playstation for a few hours this morning and then went back on it about 6pm. DS and I chat all day. When he's playing
DH has been in the spare room all day, sorting out old paperwork etc. He came in the living room and said "oh he's on it again. So no interaction then"?
DS calmly answered that he's taking to his best friend on the playstation and that he isn't allowed to meet up with anyone because of lockdown. AIBU to think DH is being ridiculous?

OP posts:
Ohalrightthen · 30/01/2021 19:09

Is he usually a dick to his son?

Icytundra · 30/01/2021 19:10

Yup sounds like he's being an arse to both of you

VettiyaIruken · 30/01/2021 19:12

Reply well not with you since you get up late and hide away all day but he's been interacting nicely with me and his friends

Imworthit · 30/01/2021 19:14

What does Dh getting up at 10 have to do with anything? It’s not overly late at weekends. He can’t see through walls. He obviously thought he’d been on the computer all day. Not trying to be rude just confused as to what is really bothering you? Is it that dh ignored you both all day or is he picking on ds. More context needed

Original poster
Frozenintime · 30/01/2021 20:31

@Imworthit he doesn't do anything for Ds and is absorbed in his own things. To keep dropping comments about ds when he is playing online is unkind. He is concerned about screen time but never offers to drive ds anywhere for exercise.

OP posts:
Georgieporgie29 · 31/01/2021 07:55

I’m sorry I’m not sure why a 14 year old needs driving anywhere for exercise? Can’t he just walk out the door and go for a walk?
I don’t think 10 o’clock is too late to get up at a weekend but there does seem to be double standards if your dh is just hiding away in a room and not interacting with anyone himself. I would have just stuck up for him saying that he had only just gone on.

jendifer · 31/01/2021 07:58

When you talk to him about it, what does he say?

Aprilx · 31/01/2021 08:02

No I don’t think DH is being ridiculous, not sure I understand the issue at all.

Gliblet · 31/01/2021 08:04

"I can tell you're worried about the lack of interaction you think DS is suffering from. So, what's your plan?"

Calmly. And then silence as you wait for a response.

Gobbycop · 31/01/2021 08:06

Very much so.

He could quite easily suggest a multitude of things to do with his son that don't involve playstation.

AStudyinPink · 31/01/2021 08:06

Interaction with who? You? Suggest he interacts with his own child if he thinks it’s super important. Arsehole.

Alexindiamondarmour · 31/01/2021 08:07

Your DH is being rude and goady about your son’s screen time.

christmasathomeagain · 31/01/2021 08:07

I'm not sure the comment was that bad tbh. I think there are other issues at play clouding your judgment on this.

Getting up at 10 isn't bad on a weekend and by the sounds of of it he was busy sorting and tiding all day, its not like he was in another room playing plat station himself or similar then came in and made the comment.

HamAndButterSandwich · 31/01/2021 09:10

YANBU. If DH wanted DS to interact maybe he should have come out and actually interacted with him. I'd say it's fine to be concerned about the amount of time he spends on the playstation but he could have a rational conversation about it.

AStudyinPink · 31/01/2021 09:14

by the sounds of of it he was busy sorting and tiding all day, its not like he was in another room playing plat station himself or similar then came in and made the comment.

Very ‘busy’ sorting and tidying. Hmm

Butchyrestingface · 31/01/2021 09:15

Since lockdown, he usually gets up late about 10 at the weekends.

Getting up at 10 on the weekends is hardly "late". What time did he usually get up at pre-Lockdown? What time do you get up at?

And does he usually hide himself away of a weekend? Or was yesterday a one-off? If he tends to spend the weekend on his own, then he's got a cheek.

Bellofbelfastcity · 31/01/2021 09:18

10am isn’t that late. I’m still in bed.

I don’t think the comment is that bad - I think your DS at 14 is capable of answering for himself and I don’t understand why ds has to be driven for exercise? Can’t he walk or ride a bike?

I think you’re pissed off with your dh and he’s annoying you over everything.

LuaDipa · 31/01/2021 12:30

I’m assuming the driving for exercise is because op and family may live rurally. The best my youngest can do is a walk up and down the road due to busy roads. I run along them, but I wouldn’t necessarily want dd doing so. If we were to go for a family bike ride or walk we would drive somewhere safer.

Godimabitch · 31/01/2021 12:37

Your DH is being a bit mean. I've have probably pointed out that he's welcome to interact with his son. Screens are the only way for kids to interact with eachother atm

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