To just want to know what’s wrong with me... not really an AIBU but I’m so fed up!

[40somethingJBJ]

My dad died in November 20 and everything is being attributed to stress - my symptoms have got worse since then, but started way before that.

I’m diagnosed with fibromyalgia and degenerative discs, plus I had a brain injury 7 years ago, which seems to be when the fibro started. I’m also asthmatic, although not severely.

For a couple of years, I’ve been getting heart palpitations. They’re completely random in when they occur, but definitely worse after eating (not exclusively after eating though). March 20 I got referred for a 24hr heart monitor. Had the appointment finally a couple of weeks ago. Results showed nothing concerning, although my heart rate does goes over 100 quite often. I’ve also had an ECG within the last 6 months which was also fine. Woke up last night and my heart was pounding. Checked it with my oximeter and it was 136bpm. That’s not normal whilst I’m asleep I’m sure!

I’ve constantly got a tight/heavy feeling in my chest. Not a pain, just a feeling like I can’t quite manage a deep breath, and I have periods where I have to really think about breathing or I feel like I’ll forget if that makes sense. It’s not that I’m struggling to breath as such, just that it seems harder work than it should be. This then does make me anxious, but the symptom comes before the anxiety.

I also have constant indigestion/heartburn. I eat rennie like they’re sweets. The gp has prescribed me a once a day tablet, but not seen much improvement yet. It feels like my chest is burning and fizzy all the damn time.

I’ve had regular spells of dizziness since October 20. Really whooshie awful feeling in my head when I move quickly. Some days are worse than others and it’s really affecting me being able to drive, which is a total pain in the arse as I can’t walk very far at the best of times! I took a Covid test back in October to rule this out as a casual on the advice of my gp. This has been put down to stress/anxiety.

I’ve had full bloods done and not anaemic/diabetic etc. Blood pressure is fine. Everything is fine on paper; I just feel like absolute shit and I’m really fed up.

Gp says there’s nothing physically wrong and it’s all stress related. I’m definitely stressed at the minute, but a lot of my stress is around my health feeling shit, so it’s difficult to work out which came first! I’m not sleeping properly either, but this has been more since my dad died - the other things all started before then.

Anyone have any ideas of anything that might have been missed? Can all this be put down to stress? I definitely have had a few panic attacks, but surely I haven’t been in one big panic attack for months now! Is that even possible?

I’m really, really at my wits end :(

@mekitgubakuds

I don't think I've been unkind, I'm just fed up of AIBU being used for traffic... this post even says in its title it's not an AIBU post! I simply said I've asked for it to be moved to an appropriate area. WWIW my DH has had all similar symptoms to poster. CBT helped. Does that make me kinder?!!

You don't own Mumsnet or AIBU.

I don't find the post annoying at all, it's easy enough to scroll past.

And your post wasn't unkind but was unsupportive and unnecessary

for you OP. I hope someone can offer some helpful advice. Sorry you're having a hard time at the moment .

@40somethingJBJ

I’m 42. I’m not sure whether hormone levels were checked or not, so I’ll ask on Monday. Thanks :)

If it is peri menopause there may be no change in your hormone levels so you need to keep a check of your symptoms but palpitations, anxiety and dizziness are all big peri symptoms.

How did your grieving process go when your dad died? I ask because it could be a big back log of grief pain sitting in your heart and chest OP

@PregnantGotCovid

Can you afford to see a private holistic gp?

This. Can you afford a few private Investigations? Consultation with a neurologist?

I feel for you, they sound like nasty symptoms to have on an ongoing basis.

@SleepySloth153

Hi OP. I'm sorry you've been going through this, and I'm so sorry about your dad. It definitely sounds like a lot of what you're experiencing could be stress and anxiety. Have you ever spoken to anyone about that? If not, it could be really beneficial, and they could teach you how to recognise the anxiety and techniques for calming down a little.

Have you had things like vitamin D and folate levels checked?

At the moment one of the best things you could probably do is to just try and relax. I know that's not easy! But work out things that you find slightly relaxing or calming, or that make you happy. Could be reading a book, listening to music, having a bath, a walk or yoga etc, gardening, colouring or other crafty things. Also, just looking after yourself, so making sure you eat healthily, but also treat yourself, and be kind to yourself!

Hi. Thank you. Yes, they checked vit D and folate and they’re fine. I’ve got an appointment in a few weeks to speak to someone so I’m hoping that helps. I can’t help worrying (hmm... I think there’s a theme here!) that all these symptoms are something more than anxiety and it’s been missed.

Have you experienced other loss or emotional.pain prior to your dad dying, pain that you may not have been able to process?

@mekitgubakuds

I don't think I've been unkind, I'm just fed up of AIBU being used for traffic... this post even says in its title it's not an AIBU post! I simply said I've asked for it to be moved to an appropriate area. WWIW my DH has had all similar symptoms to poster. CBT helped. Does that make me kinder?!!

Who the hell are you to decide? Jesus up your own backside much?! I’ve also reported your post and suggested that the op is quite happy where her post is.

OP I’m sorry your feeling so rubbish. With regards to the heart racing I get this and was finally diagnosed with SVT. Fairly benign and not much to worry about. The problem with it is they need to capture it at the time it’s happening otherwise nothing show ups on scans, monitors. Mine was diagnosed after paramedics captured it and printed it out so I could take it to the cardiologist who took one look and said yes SVT

@joystir59

How did your grieving process go when your dad died? I ask because it could be a big back log of grief pain sitting in your heart and chest OP

I’ve been running on adrenaline I think since he died. I probably haven’t grieved properly yet if I’m honest.

Hi OP,
I can relate to some of your symptoms.
I have found taking daily doses of Spatone in juice helps me feel not so giddy and spaced out.
Also I have thyroid antibody flare ups, which make me feel shocking. Not all GP's automatically run tests for these, so worth finding out if that has been tested.

Also do you mind me asking if you're constipated? I've been feeling rotten lately as I'm quite bad and have been addressing that. It's amazing how awful you can feel.

Hope you start to turn a corner soon.

@joystir59

Have you experienced other loss or emotional.pain prior to your dad dying, pain that you may not have been able to process?

I lost my mum quite a few years ago.

sorry you are going through so much - did they check your B12?

@Teazels

Hi OP, I can relate to some of your symptoms. I have found taking daily doses of Spatone in juice helps me feel not so giddy and spaced out. Also I have thyroid antibody flare ups, which make me feel shocking. Not all GP's automatically run tests for these, so worth finding out if that has been tested.

Also do you mind me asking if you're constipated? I've been feeling rotten lately as I'm quite bad and have been addressing that. It's amazing how awful you can feel.

Hope you start to turn a corner soon.

Not constipated, no. There’s been a question mark over my thyroid for a while though, as, in the words of my gp, it’s “running a bit low but not quite under active”. I’ll ask them to look into this a bit more.

@ghostyslovesheets

sorry you are going through so much - did they check your B12?

Yes B12 was fine. That was something my dad told me to get checked a few weeks before he died actually as he had problems with it being low.

In reply to the posts asking about going private - yes I can afford it so I might look into that. Just want to get to the bottom of it all. If it’s all anxiety related then I’ll accept it and do what I can to help, but I’m concerned it’s something else that’s been missed. Thanks everyone :)

Hi there OP. I have suffered from depression and stress for a very long time, and I can honestly tell you that it does sound like stress, and losing your Dad on top of everything else really can make you feel like this. My one honest recommendation, is to start walking if you possibly can. I found, before I became disabled that walking seemed to make an incredible difference to how I felt both physically and mentally, plus, it's one of the few things that we are allowed to do at the moment. If you're reasonably fit, try starting off with a bit of fast walking to get your heart working, and then start noticing the things you see around you. To give you an example, I came home from work one night feeling really depressed and low, and all I wanted to do was sit down and wallow in my misery, but having previously discovered the benefits of walking, I decided that even though it was chucking it down with rain,a walk would likely make me feel better. I marched around our village, as if I had a Sergeant Major on my back, and sure enough, when I got home, I felt almost euphoric. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it really does work for me. Give it a try, you've got nothing to lose and perhaps a lot to gain.

I had very similar symptoms for about a year after I lost my second parent. I was quite young and the losses were very unexpected. I was having a bit of an identity crisis. It went away in the end once I figured out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I got referred to mental health but they couldn't work out a diagnosis so I eventually discharged myself as I felt they were wasting my time.
I'm sorry for your losses.
I have reported the person who is repeatedly harassing you and trying to derail your thread. I hope others have, too. Your topic was "AIBU to just want to know what's wrong with me?" and in that sense, YANBU at all.

Oh @mekitgubakuds what difference does it make to you. Scroll past. Are you the MN police? So weird

Sorry you're not getting answers OP. My experience is GPs are often useful and the more they say its stress the more stress parents get, confirming it.

Does this fit? Is specifically says a lot of GPs don't know and to print out the page and take it to your appointment so could be worth a try? Looks like a tilt table test would answer it.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/postural-tachycardia-syndrome/

My one honest recommendation, is to start walking if you possibly can.
@Speakuptomakeyourselfheard ooh that's an interesting coincidence. The thing I figured out I wanted to do with my life was climb mountains. So... lots of walking.
Maybe it was the exercise that helped me, not working out what I wanted to do to fill the void.

Ignore the thread police OP.

I’m sorry you’re feeling crappy. Was your kidney function checked with the bloods do you know?

Op i had similar type of issues a year or so ago and ended up being referred to a fantastic cardiologist. To summarise - it was anxiety. Basically concern about one 'symptom' causes anxiety which then perpetuates other symptoms and so on so on, until you are convinced you are going to keep over on the spot. After I was throughly checked over (inc endless treadmill runs with wires hanging off me!) and told I was physically fine, the "symptoms' magically disappeared - basically I wasn't anxious anymore.

Not saying this is the case with yourself (and I would push for a referral) but one thing he said really stuck with me, which was that heart issues tend to cause one really strong symptom rather than lots of lesser ones.

Hope you get sorted..

Often USELESS not useful!

Keel not keep!

Unfortunately, walking is an issue for me at the best of times due to my back problems, as I’m in pain from that and regularly lose long in my left leg. I do try to keep as active as I can though - I have a recumbent exercise bike that I can manage, so I try to use this as much as possible. I used to walk at least 4-5 miles a day in what feels like a previous life!