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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He gave my tv away without asking me

6 replies

Cheeseandlobster · 30/01/2021 12:48

Dp and I had a huge row last night over something that happened years ago. I bought a secondhand laptop last week which he collected for me and paid £150 for it in cash. I then transferred the money over to him.

Last night he "jokingly" said that he had sold it on to a friend who paid £170 for it. When I didnt find it funny he said I was being daft for believing it.

But the thing is a few years ago when I first moved in I had my tv in the bedroom which was a 3 year old 37 inch. I had said to him previously that I felt that most of the things in the house were his and I would feel more at home having some of my own things around me. I came back from work one day and he had given it away to his daughter and replaced it with a slightly bigger tv given to him by an acquaintance. He said he was doing me a favour as the tv was a better make and bigger. But it wasnt my tv and it had an unknown history whereas I had got mine from new. The remote didnt work and it took him months to source a new one for it and then after a few weeks he gave the remote to his other daughter who needed one, again without asking and it took him weeks again to get another one. And there are lots of other incidences where he has make big decisions without asking me what I think

I am more angry now than I was then. I told him that actually yes he would do something like that and no it isnt funny to say you have sold my laptop. It escalated and now I am still in bed upset and wishing I had more sense and left him years ago. He has no respect for me at all does he?

OP posts:
TheChip · 30/01/2021 12:50

Sounds like he deliberately got rid of your TV to confirm the feeling that nothing was yours.
Yanbu

Idratherberude · 30/01/2021 13:04

You can leave him now. It's difficult but you're older and wiser which is a benefit.

AgentJohnson · 30/01/2021 13:05

Shitty thing for him to do but it wasn’t a dealbreaker for you and you stayed. His recent comment is a reminder that he had no remorse back then and now. How does stewing over behaviour he won’t change help you?

This is who he is and who you chose to stay with.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 30/01/2021 13:11

I am more angry now than I was then. I told him that actually yes he would do something like that and no it isnt funny to say you have sold my laptop. It escalated and now I am still in bed upset and wishing I had more sense and left him years ago. He has no respect for me at all does he?

If that is how you feel, then see sense and leave him now. Or you risk posting exactly the same thing in five years time.

It is a clearly established pattern of behaviour. It isn’t going to change. You now get to decide whether or not you will accept that behaviour as part of your life for the rest of your life.

CrotchBurn · 30/01/2021 13:23

You are bringing up lots from a long time ago. The love is dead

Cheeseandlobster · 30/01/2021 14:53

I think I need to do the Freedom Project or something similar. My boundaries are all skewed. This is just one thing. I could write a long list of examples where he has walked all over me and made me feel like I don't matter.

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