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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

at playground, 6 11-12 yo arrive, one of the mums tells them...

23 replies

peskipixie · 30/10/2007 18:11

...they are not allowed to come in as they are intimidating to they other children. they get a big lippy with her as they are annoyed she wont let them in. (no swearing afaiheard)

there is a toddler area and an area aimed at older kids.

this mum called the police to have them removed from the area.

not really an aibu but this is where people give their opinions so tell me what you think....

OP posts:

dooley1 · 30/10/2007 18:14

who made her in charge?
she wouldn't even let them in?
Does she own the playground?

Lorayn · 30/10/2007 18:15

The playground next to dd's school has a sign, that many people miss, saying it is for under tens.

TerrorMater · 30/10/2007 18:16

We have just put in new equipment aimed at older children...

MrScarRot · 30/10/2007 18:16

What did the police do then?

Can't believe they would come to the park because there were six older children.

zippitippitoes · 30/10/2007 18:16

surely the p[olice didn't attend..it's not a crime is it lol? is she bonkers?

CorrieDale · 30/10/2007 18:17

A bit OTT I think. I have been known to tell off older children who cycle/skate/scott around the playground because toddlers have no road sense and are likely to run into the cycles. There is a large park where they can cycle and a skate park too, I would add, so I'm not being men for the sake of it. And I have telephoned their school to complain when a bunch of them wouldn't stop and it was definitely intimidating the babies. But I wouldn't stop them from coming in and I deffo wouldn't call the police.

Lorayn · 30/10/2007 18:18

Now for my opinion, she should have kept quiet and not said/done anything even if it was an under tens playground, which many of them are meant to be, unless they behaved unappropriately, and then tried to have a word with them.
It may be that she ahs been there before and seen said children being intimidating.
Also if toddlers were obviously scared (which they probably werent, mine take no notice of other people at the park!) then if they were not using the equipment she could have had a quiet respectful word.
Children deserve respect too, unless they do something to make you take that away from them, ie behave inappropriately around young children.

Freckle · 30/10/2007 18:19

Bonkers. If they had been intimidating the younger children and swearing, etc., she might have had a point. But to warn them off beforehand is just nuts.

Original poster

peskipixie · 30/10/2007 18:22

i thought the same as everyone else on here. maybe she has seen them before, but they didnt even swear at her after she had confronted them and i think she was bang out of order. there is no sign at this playground to say only certain age or under. i made sure i told the police thay had not been causing trouble as i didnt think it was fair they get in trouble for trying to use kids facilities when they are still kids.
its this attitude that they are all bad turns them all bad imo. i dont think i made a friend out of the mum tho!

OP posts:

Original poster

peskipixie · 30/10/2007 18:24

oh yes, the police did attend. 3 of them, and a van. so i think they expected trouble. they were talking to the kids and the mum in separate groups when i went to talk to them. most of the kids left, i dont know if they were told to. the mum also left, clearly not happy

OP posts:

pointydog · 30/10/2007 18:30

I think there is too much antagonism between older children and adults and adults should think of better ways of dealing with them than getting bossy and ordering them around.

Mum handled it all wrong.

sallystrawberry · 30/10/2007 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beelliesebub · 30/10/2007 18:40

To be honest she just sounds like a bully and I don't think the police could do much anyway!
To be fair, I do know how intimidating a group of youngsters can be BUT I know for a fact that if a stranger blatantly picked on any of my ds's they would've stayed exactly where they were and when she called the police they would have started to state the law and still stayed there, especially if they had done nothing wrong.........
All my ds's are very opinionated, can't think where they get it from

claricebeansmum · 30/10/2007 18:41

Obviously this woman will never have an 11yo or was an 11 yo

Freckle · 30/10/2007 18:42

Bonkers. If they had been intimidating the younger children and swearing, etc., she might have had a point. But to warn them off beforehand is just nuts.

Freckle · 30/10/2007 18:43

Sorry, delayed double message there!

Starbear · 30/10/2007 18:47

Good for you! Kids turn nasty because they think that the world is against them. I would have a word if they behaved badly. Some older kids are fab with toddlers, they get a bit protective. When Ds was a baby we were on the bus, some secondary schools kids were swearing at each other being loud etc. They saw ds in my arms and one lad shouted 'stop swearing there's a baby here' They all did not for me but the baby. The Police must have had the time or they would not have turned up. It gives them a chance to get out of the car too.

brimfull · 30/10/2007 18:53

I bet she has no experience of older children,wait until hers are that age and looking for somewhere to play.

boo64 · 30/10/2007 19:00

Ha in my experience toddlers are way more of a danger to each other than a group of 11 year olds...

Seriously though, I have actually told older kids off for jumping of the top of the wendy houses etc in the under 5s section of our local playground as they could easily fall on a toddler.

geekymummy · 30/10/2007 21:46

11-12 year olds - the woman was BU. I'd understand 16/17 year olds but I'd have no issue with kids that age at the playground if they were well behaved.

Flipping heck - they get berated for playing computer games and sitting on their bums and told off when wanting to use a playground

SquirBOOdle · 30/10/2007 21:59

Thats just daft. I don't care how old the children are in our parks as long as they are behaving and considerate to the younger children. It does annoy me slightly if older children are messing about on say the slide and the little ones either can't get on or are copying them, but I've always found a friendly 'Ooh careful there are little ones watching/wanting to use that too' works without any antagonism at all.

I always believe that on the whole if you treat teenagers with respect you will get respect back from them.

sunnydelight · 30/10/2007 22:10

When her kids get to that age she will probably be having a go at the mums of toddlers telling them to get out of the way of the older kids' bikes or whatever. What an unpleasant woman and I hope the police told her off for wasting their time.

Original poster

peskipixie · 30/10/2007 22:17

i see it from both ends as i have small children and larger children and i have also told older kids off if they are being silly too close to little ones, but these were just approaching the playground. i suppose she may have seen them before and i know they wanted to use one particular thing so it would mean the toddlers couldnt get on it all the time, but there were a couple of older kids on earlier who got off so a littlie could have a go (turns out they all knew each other but the earlier ones werent there as this lot arrived, they came back later).

i find it sad that you see a gang of kids and automatically think trouble. its not like they had a crate of lager with them or anything! people complain kids grow up too fast but if they feel they cant use kids play areas to play what else are they meant to do? theres nowhere for them to go, we have a skatepark but surely they cant all be expected to spend their entire time there.

OP posts:

Flip