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AIBU?

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Understanding Child Maintenance application

3 replies

Redruby2020 · 30/01/2021 10:53

Hi all,

Interested to hear from any of you who have or are going through this.
ExP been asked for the last year to sort something out financially, never has, just given money as an when.
He is on bail now and I do not want to carry on the same old boring saga going around in circles, so I made a start in getting something sorted out, you have to call the number provided, first, and from there they send you the link and code you need.
I have chosen to go with the first option which then means the other parent pays directly to you etc. But I have just read a bit on the email from them that says about you can ask your bank to set up something so that your location is not made obvious, well that doesn't make sense to me, as I didn't think any private details would be shared with the other parent.
Which brings me to the next point of whether I should have gone with option 2, which is where for a fee both sides the child maintenance collect the money for you and then you take it, which you are charged for.

Any experiences please, I also need to be nudged to do it, as exP has been abusive and I am the kind of person who would keep making excuses or wait and wait, and I think what are you waiting for? I feel if I waited for him to sort something out it would be like waiting for hell to freeze over, he's still of the mindset that we can try again, and that has been brought up in the past when I have mentioned money. He would love to go back to living off of me and me having the burden of worrying about how we will manage.
There was a time when he was over drawn, and he has a big over draft, he managed to manipulate a grand out of me, or said he would have to go and sell drugs, disgusting horrible person. I gave it to him. He also got money out of me in the past, which I have never got back.

And calls our DC 'his life' but doesn't seem to think he needs to provide for him 🤦‍♀️🙄😆

OP posts:
Redruby2020 · 30/01/2021 21:51

Anyone??

OP posts:
Hazelnutlatteplease · 30/01/2021 21:56

Maintenance goes into one of those bulk standard saver accounts. It is the only thing that goes into that account and i transfer it into my main account as and when.

Therefore ex doesn't get to know my main bank account numbers. If I ever need to produce statements it's easy to blank out what I dont want him to see. It's also easy to spot if maintenance doesn't come in

Hazelnutlatteplease · 30/01/2021 22:00

I considered the collect service but actually direct pay on the whole works ok. It all goes wonky when he changes job, but no more than any other system. We were entitled probably to get the CMS service for free but I didnt want to aggravate the situation if I could avoid it. I have absolutely no contact with ex now (neither do the kids for that matter).

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