Surprise Pregnancy secret

[Pendingmummy]

I’ve found out I’m 21 weeks pregnant today, found out I was pregnant two weeks ago was booked in for a scan today and I’m 21 weeks. Freaking out about work’s reaction as I haven’t been in the role for 6 months. It’s also a very senior role. AIBU to keep this to myself till I’m 24 weeks. Still processing don’t even know how to begin to bring this up with family let alone my boss. Help

Congratulations!

Yes definitely take a bit of time to process it first.

In terms of the HR side you might find they do not offer any enhanced maternity packages, you will have to check your contract for that (although you say role and not company...so if it’s same company you’ll probably be fine)

Also you do have to inform them by a certain point usually - I’m feeling like it’s 15 weeks prior to due date? But I could be totally getting that wrong.

So basically - get hold of your contract and maternity policy, check the details and keep it to yourself for the time being.

The thing is, although you might worry about what they will think about your pregnancy at this point, they can’t actually say or do anything about it. Legally.

So it may feel awkward to address it but you are legally protected against any kind of action.

Senior people have babies too! You’ll be fine, have the baby and maternity leave and go back to your career when you’re ready to.

Could you take a short parental leave if you want to press on with the senior role? Nurseries are more likely to have availability in baby rooms. No need to take a year, even if you were eligible.

You have more options than you think, just go through them and decide. And - I hope you are okay :-)

Of course you're not unreasonable to keep this to yourself for a bit longer. You've only just found out and it was a shock and you need time to process it. I think there is a minimum time you need to tell them before you want to commence maternity leave though (legislation based) not sure if it is 15 weeks so you might want to bear this in mind.
Yes it's not ideal if you've recently started a new job but these things happen and they will have enough time to have formed a good impression of you. Although you'll still be in probation, remember maternity is protected in law and they can't legally discriminate against you for any maternity related reason. I'd work out what you think you are likely to want in terms of maternity leave etc then speak to them when you feel ready

Congratulations! You need time to process this and have a plan as to how to approach it. Your work will hopefully be more positive than you think

Something similar happened to me - I got pregnant 5m into a new job (not just role - whole new company), also a very senior position. Told them when I was about 20w, all was fine but I did end up taking very short maternity leave (4m). Your post suggests that you are in a new role but within the same company you worked for before? If that's correct, you should be fine - it is not ideal but not that bad either. Depends also on the size of the company - bigger one may be better equipped to handle, smaller one may be more empathetic. I don't think you're obliged to tell them until 24w or so, but make sure to double check that so that you don't miss your deadline and paperwork.

@Aneley yes it’s a new role same company but I’m the only person doing my exact role which is what scares me. The timing is really not ideal at all as this year is a big year for the company. Over 400 people now hoping to get to 1000 by the end of the year. I really wanted to be part of the momentous year which I will be but won’t be a part of at the end of the year.

@Pendingmummy, I can imagine the stress! But just try to see the positives, you'll end the year with a new job and a new baby - that's quite something! And the work will be there when you go back, the main thing is not just growth but also integration and scaling up processes and if you put in a good foundation you'll be fine. My role was a completely new one too and if it can serve as an encouragement to you - I was promoted to an even more senior, global role 4 months after I came back from maternity. You can do this!

Thanks everyone for your responses going to make a plan for work so I can go to them with an idea. Special thanks @Aneley you’ve really calmed me down I’ve got this and also it doesn’t make me a bad mum if I don’t take the full year. Each of us need to do what’s right for our families. have a lovely weekend everyone

You can do it. All the best

There's loads of us pregnant ladies on another thread who still haven't told our families at 16-20 weeks for various reasons. Don't worry about it. Congratulations!

When I started work in the 1980s, it was quite normal for mothers to go back to work when their baby was about 5 months old - IIRC, we could only have 6 months maternity leave, so a month before the baby was born and five months after was perfectly normal. My friend had a baby in 2000 and went back when he was 5 months - 20 years later, he's perfectly fine!

Wishing you the best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

When I had my first I was only allowed 6 weeks paid maternity leave, even with the 2nd it was only 16 weeks!!

TBH I found it easier settling them into childcare by 6 months as it was before separation anxiety sets in.

Do what is right for you.

I went back after 3 months with my first one. It saved my sanity a bit as I'm career focused and DD had my DH who shared my leave. My mum did the same with all 3 of her kids and we are all good.