To want another baby when finances are tight

[Hagridsbeard25]

We have a toddler DD. Husband and I are in our mid twenties, both work full time but not on a great wage. Have very little left at the end of the month after paying all bills etc so we don’t go on holidays or anything like that. When DD gets her free hours when she turns 3 (in a years time) we will have a lot more breathing space financially. If we have another baby we will have to struggle again financially until that baby turns 3.
We would really like another child and I don’t know if it’s unfair to have another baby and not be able to do nice things with them like holidays, or home improvements like making the garden more child friendly.
AIBU for wanting another baby?

I'd say go for it.

Young kids don't really cost much or want for much.......so it makes sense to get the skint years out of the way when your dd is still so little.

You'll have plenty of time and money for holidays and big days out when theyre older and will actually enjoy them.

I think you are yes. Why set yourself up for more years of struggle?

We can’t afforded a second, as in literally can’t afford the additional childcare (need an extra £1k per month and £20k for mat leave and just don’t have it). If you can cover the essentials I’d do it, it’s not for long. I wish we had the option but alas circumstances are against us.

That’s why we would have to wait til DD gets free hours, we can’t afford to pay 2 lots at once.

I don’t personally don’t think what your describing, lack of foreign holidays and home improvements, equates to “struggling financially”. I would prioritise having my children close together above those things but that is personal preference of course

I’d go for it, most parents struggle when their DC are very young and then things get a bit easier when the DC go to school.

If you want more children then you will regret not having more. I’d do it! Although your struggling it sounds like you can still cover the essentials. Struggle now so you can enjoy your completed family later in life or don’t ensure a few extra years suffering and regret not having the children you wanted. A few years is nothing in the grand scheme of life!

Babies don’t care if they go on holiday. Older kids maybe, but when they’re little they have no idea really. If you can cover the cost of essentials (or pay bills and mortgage and childcare) then I would go for it. You will surely have a lot of the baby stuff already from DC1 and you can keep all her clothes etc for hand me downs.
Just don’t be tempted to give up work because you feel like your wage just goes on childcare. Even if you only break even in the short term, you will end up much better off in the long run if you stay in work.

You’re mid 20s? Is there any training or studying you or your DP would like to do to improve your earning potential? Presuming you don’t have PCOS or a known fertility issue, you could wait a few years before having another DC if you wanted to. Would that put you in a better position financially? If you could afford to, would you like to have 2 more DC? Think through all your options and do what you feel is right for you.

Good luck.

Depends on the nature of your jobs, for me. I'm not sure I'd do it without a savings cushion, if you're both in a private sector role that may or may not survive the economy post-Covid.

YANBU to want another baby right now but YWBU to actually go through with it. The economy is in free fall, 30 hours childcare may not exist in 3 years. The government will need to introduce austerity on steroids to cover Covid and Brexit losses. You’re young enough to wait. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourselves.

If you can afford for you to be on maternity leave I would go for it - I wouldn't wait for free hours either, have your older dc at home and save completely on nursery, then reenrol lay 3 for 15 hours per week which is free.

Probably depends on housing situation a little too.

I know of someone that has 'a number' of children, but would constantly complain that they had to share one room of their two bedroom flat and had no garden.

If you were 10 years older, I might say go for it. Unless you have known fertility problems, you also have a time to wait until you are in a slightly better position.

@Hagridsbeard25 we need the extra £1k even with the free hours. Hence why it’s a No.

I would go for it . Complete your family. You both work hard and it will be difficult until the free hours childcare kick in but should be easier when they are at school ( so then you can do some of the things you would like to).

I'd wait and see how things are when dd is 3, then decide. Remember, it could be twins!

I wouldn't. Children don't get any less expensive as they get older, even when you stop paying nursery fees. You don't have to just look at costs in two years time, what about after that?

Once your DD starts school, you'll probably need to pay for before and after school care, and a school holiday childminder (10 weeks!!). Then there's the cost of school uniform and shoes, after school activities, school trips. Non school clothes and shoes get way more expensive too. You would need to be sure that you could afford that x 2.

In a similar position to you. We have a toddler, earn enough to get by but not had a holiday for 3 years and have lots of grand plans for our house that won't happen anytime soon. I'm part time and can't afford 2 sets of childcare. We purposefully delayed getting pregnant again until we knew toddler would qualify for childcare hours and I'm now expecting #2. For us it made sense not to wait much longer than that as we already have the baby gear and we are used to our finances being the way they are. We know that as the children get older and go to school I'll be able to increase my hours and work towards promotions and hopefully life will become more comfortable but I would rather stick with the budget life now and see it through another baby than start earning more and take another drop in a few years time.

You know the ins and outs of your finances so you'll know if you can make it work and whether the temporary budgeting is worth it for you right now or not. But no it is definitely not unreasonable to consider it and depending on your circumstances certainly and option to explore with your DH.

If it would be tight financially with a second child, what if it turns out to be twins?!

You've got time on your side, so it may work better to wait a bit.