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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask of you'll hug your older relatives when they've had the vaccine

26 replies

Whatafustercluck · 29/01/2021 08:35

If it could be Autumn at the earliest that low risk groups will get the vaccine, and you are a low risk individual, will you wait a few weeks for your older relatives' vaccines to kick in and then hug them, even though we don't yet know the effect of vaccine on transmission?

Yanbu - yes I'll hug them
Yabu - no I won't hug them

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 29/01/2021 08:38

We're not really huggers in our family anyway. So, no.

B33Fr33 · 29/01/2021 08:42

No. I've lost the older relatives I would have hugged. The ones left are very distant AND I won't be in a rush to see family who didn't really let me be involved in funerals or even letting me know. The pandemic will be a permanent end to visiting family for me Sad

Samcro · 29/01/2021 08:44

i can't wait to hug my disabled adult dc, but I will wait until I am a 100% sure.
its coming up to a year since I have been able to touch her. breaks my heart.

Original poster
Whatafustercluck · 29/01/2021 08:44

@B33Fr33 that's really sad, I'm very sorry Flowers

OP posts:
2typesofjungle · 29/01/2021 08:44

No because that would be pretty stupid. You've waited this long, you might as well wait until the vaccine has kicked in, otherwise there's not much point in having it.

HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur · 29/01/2021 08:47

No, not yet. The vaccine may help but it's not perfect and numbers of cases around are still high. I'd probably see them if they were ok with it, but no hugs or kisses.

Original poster
Whatafustercluck · 29/01/2021 08:48

You've waited this long, you might as well wait until the vaccine has kicked in

That's literally what I've said.

OP posts:
cheeseandworcestershireontoast · 29/01/2021 08:48

No, I really stupidly hugged my DM when I saw her for the first time in months in August last year. I came down with a bug a few days after and was beside myself with worry and self-hatred for the 3 days it took for my test results to come back negative. Cannot believe how stupid stupid stupid I was. I was so petrified that I could’ve given her COVID. It’s the only time I’ve done something like that during the pandemic and I won’t be doing it again until I’m sure it’s 100% safe

heLacksnotluster · 29/01/2021 08:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

cheeseandworcestershireontoast · 29/01/2021 08:58

Ok not 100% safe @heLacksnotluster but I certainly won’t be hugging elderly family when they get their second dose in the next few weeks whilst I’m still unvaccinated and cases are so high Sad

Nopreservatives · 29/01/2021 08:59

No, but then it would be weird for me to hug my mum at any time. I will sit in their kitchen with them again though, although we'll make an effort not to get too close.

My DH is in hospital dying. I'm not allowed to see him, that's inhumane enough, I need my mum.

Strugglingtodomybest · 29/01/2021 08:59

Depends on what they want. If they want a hug, I'll give them one, if not, I won't.

PaperMonster · 29/01/2021 09:00

My parents aren’t huggers, so that won’t be happening.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 29/01/2021 09:05

But COVID will be around forever in various forms. Like the flu.

Surely there aren't people out there who will choose to never hug their family again?

userxx · 29/01/2021 09:07

@sunflowersandbuttercups

But COVID will be around forever in various forms. Like the flu.

Surely there aren't people out there who will choose to never hug their family again?

More than likely.

MadisonAvenue · 29/01/2021 09:09

No, but then I wouldn’t have hugged my parents before Covid anyway. They’re not huggers.

freddiesmoustache · 29/01/2021 09:22

No and we've talked about this. Until I've had both doses of my vaccine we will only see each other outside and at a distance.

KatherineOfGaunt · 29/01/2021 09:28

Probably not, I'm not sure yet. I'd like to, when my parents have had had both doses, as I really miss them, but I'd be worried about passing it on to them anyway, because the vaccine isn't 100% protection and if they did get it they could still be at risk. Or they could still pass it on to me, which would probably be why they wouldn't want to hug me just yet, they'd be worried about me and my family.

PercythePile · 29/01/2021 09:28

No I wouldn't, not until everyone is vaccinated. Anyone vaccinated can still get the virus and pass it to you. You can then pass it on to your family, colleagues etc. Once everyone is vaccinated its up to families to assess the risk.

Original poster
Whatafustercluck · 29/01/2021 09:37

No I wouldn't, not until everyone is vaccinated. Anyone vaccinated can still get the virus and pass it to you. You can then pass it on to your family, colleagues etc. Once everyone is vaccinated its up to families to assess the risk

The government will be opening businesses, leisure, schools etc well before everyone is vaccinated though. I'd see/ hug my low risk family ahead of mixing with hundreds of strangers in a pub.

OP posts:
PercythePile · 29/01/2021 09:40

I completely agree. I have family that are undergoing chemo, have respiratory illnesses etc. I won't be going to pubs etc until everyone has been vaccinated. Personal choice i know.

showmethegin · 29/01/2021 09:43

Honestly? Yes. As soon as they are safe from their second jab and the correct time has passed that I know they are protected I will.

Love51 · 29/01/2021 09:45

That's up to the relative!
My parents don't go anywhere much. My kids are in school and my husband is at work (I WFH).I'm not in the least concerned my parents could give Covid to us, I'm concerned we could give it to them.
After the second jab kicks in I expect they will be happy to share hugs.

DDIJ · 29/01/2021 09:45

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Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

middleager · 29/01/2021 09:50

No. Even when they've had their second jabs. I'm 47, overweight/obsese and won't be getting the vaccine anytime soon.
My parents and I laws in their 70s and 80s may be fine, but I'll still be completely exposed!