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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go for promotion without mentioning pregnancy

48 replies

justchecking1 · 28/01/2021 21:45

Would I be being unreasonable to apply for a promotion knowing I'm pregnant?

It's quite an important role, which I'm more than capable of doing, but I've just found out I'm around 9 weeks pregnant. It's quite a male dominated role and I'm the only woman applying. I think I've got a very good chance, but if I told them I think they'd chose one of the other candidates, obviously. I've already been offered an interview which I've accepted, but I'm now second guessing myself.

The other complicating factor is that I've had multiple MMC found at early scans at EPAU. They're not offering these at the moment due to covid so I've got a private one booked but the earliest available was for after the interview. I'd be loathe to be honest, probably scupper my chances, only to find out it's not a viable pregnancy anyway.

I'm sure none of the men in the interview process would be having any kind of crisis of conscience over something like this, but I can't help feeling guilty!

WWYD? AIBU to keep it to myself? I know legally I don't have to say anything, but would it be underhand not to mention it?

OP posts:
AntiHop · 03/02/2021 18:23

Congratulations op! I'm glad you didn't tell them. I started my current job already pregnant.

Curiosity101 · 03/02/2021 18:54

Congratulations!

I am in a similar position at the moment however I decided against going for promotion. It'd be a promotion into a position that meant I would be line managing people and it's a pretty tough performance management process at the company I'm at. I decided against going for it because I didn't want to put others through a temporary change of manager mid performance cycle only to have it change again towards year end.

YouShouldLeave · 03/02/2021 19:04

Don’t be an asshole.
Be honest.

LazJaz · 03/02/2021 19:07

Congrats @justchecking1! Truly fantastic news all round! Congratulatory Flowers as you can’t have champagne at the moment!

bloodyhairy · 03/02/2021 19:16

So, so pleased for you OP! Smile

Twylar · 03/02/2021 19:16

Brilliant. Well done.

You did the right thing not telling them! Not relevant to the role

VinterKvinna · 03/02/2021 19:19

@justchecking1

Update: I got the job!

And I've had a viability scan which showed a happy little embryo, with a heartbeat, measuring perfect for dates

It's been a good news day 😊

oh thats wonderful!!! Big congratz!!!
Planty13 · 03/02/2021 19:21

Congratulations op!!

Arrierttyclock · 03/02/2021 19:42

Aw yay congratulations!!

2020iscancelled · 03/02/2021 20:06

Congratulations!

What a double whammy! A baby and a promotion Grin

Imworthit · 03/02/2021 20:14

My partner always says: why kill yourself for a company that would replace you before the funeral.

A good company will accommodate a bad one isn’t worth worrying about

Randomness12 · 03/02/2021 20:17

Ahh huge congratulations!!

sbhydrogen · 03/02/2021 20:18

Yay, congratulations! 🥳 How lovely to have two bouts of good news.

If it helps, I got promoted whilst I was pregnant, and it was fine. I came back after 10 months and have gone back into my role with no problems.

Imworthit · 03/02/2021 20:19

@Curiosity101

Congratulations!

I am in a similar position at the moment however I decided against going for promotion. It'd be a promotion into a position that meant I would be line managing people and it's a pretty tough performance management process at the company I'm at. I decided against going for it because I didn't want to put others through a temporary change of manager mid performance cycle only to have it change again towards year end.

Sounds fishy
Caterinaballerina · 03/02/2021 20:33

Congratulations! This has really brightened my day.

WingingIt101 · 03/02/2021 20:53

Ahhh double congrats op! Such lovely news on both counts!

girlofnow · 03/02/2021 21:25

I came on to say do it, I got my dream internal promotion at seven months pregnant after an interview where the air com was broken!

But looks like I'm a bit late 😀

Royalbloo · 03/02/2021 21:29

Oh this is lovely - congrats! Flowers

tortiecat · 03/02/2021 21:30

Fab news, congratulations and well done OP Grin lovely to hear a double good news in these ridiculous times!

DoloresOnTheDottedLine · 03/02/2021 21:46

Fabulous news on both counts - I’ve been rooting for you OP and so pleased to read this update!

TaraR2020 · 03/02/2021 22:42

What a wonderfully happy thread! Double congratulations!

It's wonderful to read some truly happy news for a change 😀

iolaus · 03/02/2021 23:02

Thats great news

I remember some 17 years ago I, and another woman, both went for promotion (there were several positions) both pregnant and they knew - neither of us got it

Following year same promotion panel came out - both went for it, both got it (told them I was pregnant with my second the week after I was offered the job) - fairly sure the fact they'd known we were both pregnant played into not getting the job first time round

justchecking1 · 04/02/2021 15:37

Thank you so much everyone 💐

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