To ask if anyone with more than one child wishes they had stopped at one?

[chuckb4ss]

And if so why?

Yes and no. I wasn’t ready for a second until my older bit was 4. He nearly killed me through lack of sleep and he has HFA which has been tricky as his presentation made diagnosis protracted.

My second therefore came along when I was 39. I was utterly knackered dealing with an autistic child. Second had food intolerances which were t diagnosed and he has a severe speech and communication delay - likely autistic too.

Life can be hard done days.

I don’t regret having him - he’s a gorgeous sunshine of a little boy. But I do occasionally think how much easier life would be if I’d stopped at 1.

I can’t see promotions, work full time, go away alone for a long period etc as both together for a long period amine is draining.

Having said all of that when they are playing happily and the little one comes in for a cuddle and a nap I’m the happiest person in the world.

I have fleeting moments where I think it would of been easier to stop at one, when they’re driving me nuts! Going from 1-2 was definitely harder for me personally than 0-1.

But they’re close in age & I don’t think I would of felt like that at all if I had a more reasonable age gap.

But no, I have never wished I hadn’t had number 2.

No, didnt regret it.

For me the hardest part of all was just having one. I felt so much pressure to be perfect look after him every minute of the day, and I know I wouldve stressed about him growing up without a sibling. I appreciate this isnt the case for all, but wanted to give you one experience. Although having two, then three was physically harder (for a few years), mentally it's been easier, and even more so as they are now out of baby and toddlerhood

Not at all.

I found going from 0-1 really, really hard. We planned to stick with one DC, but I got pregnant again accidentally when DS1 was two.

From day one, I found having two DC loads easier than having one. It's a much less intense experience somehow. They are 8 and 11 now, and really close. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Yes a lot, but I’m a single parent so I think that makes the difference, being on your own with multiple children can be very hard one would have been much much easier, I love all of my children of course but I do often wish I only had one

I have a 4 year gap between mine, they are completely different (personalities and learning abilities as well as male & female), but they have such a strong bond. Stopping at one would have been easier and my second can be challenging with learning differences, but I love them equally.

I did at first but I don't any more. My second didn't sleep. At all. We had to be at home for naps, we couldn't do anything fun for more than an hour between naps and food, I was so tired that I was snappy with the oldest one. I was so exhausted dealing with two that it triggered a health condition that was dormant and I had months of work after going back for a few months after maternity leave. Its only now 3 years later that I don't frequently think 'this would be so much easier with just one'. Although when one is at school / nursery / friends etc its blissfully calm and quiet

No because they’re best friends. They absolutely love spending time with each other and miss the other when they’ve been apart for half an hour. They’d be bored senseless without each other and our lives would be so much harder.

Never regretted it. Just over a year gap between mine. Currently considering whether 3 is on the cards. Eldest starts school this year.

I have 3 dc, I have never wished I had stopped at 1. The companionship and little team they have is amazing. They will always have someone on their side. Obviously there are arguments and fights but the good times outweigh the bad times by miles.

No. Having more than one child was the best thing I have ever done even though they argue all the time

I have 4 dc and sometimes I do think how easy life would be and how much money and free time we would now have if we only had 1. Our next door neighbours have an only child the same age as our 11 year old and they have such an easy life!

But then there are so many lovely moments when they all play together or family dinners, holidays, Christmas when it's all worth it. I'm thankful to have 4 every day.

No - even though our 'second' child turned out to be twins so I went from 1 to a never-imagined-ever-having 3 kids! There are different challenges with more kids and it does feel absolutely constant until at least one goes to school. But on the other hand, you are more relaxed than the first time round and one day they start to notice each other more, one day they laugh together, one day your eldest gives the baby a giant hug ... and it's just lovely. There's less than 3 years between our eldest and the twins so I hope they'll all be close.

Yes I do regret it. I have 4DC including 1 set of twins (my last pregnancy) and I’ve since split with my husband and I’m raising them alone. He sees them but can’t have them overnight or anything. I think about how our lives were like before I had the twins and the things we could afford to do, how much time I could spend with my 2 older ones and I do feel regret. I feel like I’ve messed up their lives tbh. I can’t afford holidays, or a big enough house, or a car or days out. I could probably afford these things if I wasn’t spending most of my income on childcare.

My totally unscientific observation from the threads about people who regret having kids is that people don’t seem to regret having one or two children, but it’s more common to regret having children if you have more than three. That’s not to say that everyone who has more than three regrets it, just that I’ve noticed that people who say they regret having children often have more than three. They also often seem to regret who they had them with.

Definitely not, DD is just wonderful and I do sometimes think that if we'd stopped at 1 and I'd missed out on having her I really would have been poorer for it. I suppose you could say that about any number of children!

Two is definitely enough for me though! I did think about a third but mine are older primary now and I'm really glad that we stopped.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred

That’s the same amount I have and tbh 4 has pretty much destroyed me, I think going from 3/4 was much harder than 0-1 or 1-2 2-3, but I’m also doing it alone my ex isn’t involved, sees them once a year, and even then he’s never had them over night once since we’ve split, pays virtually no maintenance, I always think how much easier my life would have been with only one! Family never help out as simply no one will look after 4 kids.

I found going from 1-2 incredibly hard. I'm sure there have been moments, probably at 2am when I've been utterly exhausted and fed up of constantly spinning plates, that I've fleetingly wished we'd stopped at one. But that's just stress and sleep deprivation talking, really now DS is here I wouldn't be without him. He's 2.5 now and although it's still hard, things are slowly getting easier. I still have moments where I feel intensely nostalgic for how much easier life was when we just had DD, or when we didn't have either of them, but that doesn't mean I regret them.

Glad I had more than one. They get on most of the time although still argue like cat and dog and entertain each other, which definitely helps considering that we’ll be in lockdown for the foreseeable. Takes the pressure off the parents. The only kids that I know just seem lonely.

No regrets here. There's a 5 year age gap and it's worked out well. I was nervous about having a second. Worried I would find it too much, worried I wouldn't love them both the same etc... but it's been fine and I'm glad my worries were unfounded.

When my older two were younger I did often think just one would be easier. I also think it's easier to work and go on holiday /days out one. They are older now (12 and 14) and most of the time they get on well have similar interests, enjoy the same days out. Obviously they also always have someone besides us for company. (Obviously they do argue and bicker quite a lot too and sometimes then I think one would be easier).
However my sister only had one and my niece says she feels lonely a lot and I think it's probably worse than ever now (but she has said that for a few years).
I don't regret having any of my children but would have ideally had a smaller gap between DC2 and DC3.

I sometimes think how much easier it would (possibly) be having one kid rather than my DTs. Or maybe having two spaced out.

Generally I think I’m lucky having two (after fertility issues and ivf) and parenting is just bloody difficult at times regardless of how many you have.