Can i make him recognise impact of work stress?

[PeggySue2]

My marriage is hanging by a thread.

One major issue for me is the impact of my husband’s work related stress on our relationship and our family. This has been going on for a couple of years. Whenever it comes up he always switches it round to say that it’s my fault because I’m not supportive enough and we never get anywhere, for example with finding ways to help him cope better with the stress.

We are doing couple’s therapy and I raised the work stuff and he just said that’s just her, she’s never happy with me, work’s just her latest thing to criticise. Basically the work is no problem.

I just don’t feel heard.

My question is this - is there anything I can do to get him to take on board my concerns?

I don’t want to end the relationship but it feels like i’m getting to the point where I’ll have no choice because he’s no willing to change anything.

(Appreciate it looks like I’m blaming him for everything in this and I’m not. I just think that issues on both sides need to be addressed)

If your DH is unwilling to listen to you i dont see how this can be saved. Surely you both have to be heard

What does he do?

Work related stress can be tricky, as employers aren't usually very understanding (in the private sector at least), can he switch jobs?

I'm not sure it is salvageable because he is expecting solutions about his work stress from you. He needs to manage his work and manage his stress, unless you are being very unreasonable in some way. Each one of us has to come up with our own strategies, my job is also stressful, I don't have a go at DP and say he has to help me sort it out - ultimately my problem. It's the same for him. I'm sorry if that wasn't as constructive as you hoped.