Seriously why?! Men and toilets

[FanOfTheCheese]

Why does it take them so long to poo?!
My husband is in there every morning for at least 20-30 mins I don’t get it?

Exactly @Sheleg in the gap between it's time to load the dishwasher or wash the pots. Clean the bathroom/toilet if needing to stay close.

I know a guy who says he holds it until he gets to work so he can have a poo on company time and get paid for it 😏 men are a curious species.

Bastards

My bf does the same. I can apply a full face of make up in the time it takes for him to have a dump. He tells me, like the previous male poster said, he forces it all out - then acts surprised when he ends up with piles. He also says because of this he rarely has the natural urge to go (unless he is unwell) and just sits on the toilet at the same time of the day. Utterly bizarre. I can't understand wanting to sit on a toilet, without really needing to go, and pushing it out 'just because' or as some sort of time saving activity. I only go if I feel the need to, and can be done in less than 2 minutes, including flushing and hand washing.

I'm a woman and I spend a while in the loo...
Its warm, and I'm all alone. For a whole 20 minutes I have a legitimate reason to shout "in a minute!" when dc call "Muuuuuuuuuuummmmm"

Yanbu. I have pushed a baby out faster than my DH shits.

Haha @MaMaD1990 he also does this. Loves a good "paid to poop"

It's definitely a man thing, exh didn't admittedly, but dp is ages, at least 10 mins all the more noticeable because of lockdown, we are together 24/7

@MaMaD1990

I know a guy who says he holds it until he gets to work so he can have a poo on company time and get paid for it 😏 men are a curious species.

My husband absolutely cannot disappear for 20 minutes in his work, so I can conclude he can use the bathroom quickly when needed. I also think men at home decided to use the loo even when they barely need to, as an excuse to be there for as long as possible. It's pathetic behaviour.

Yes so many jobs where disappearing for a 20/30 minute poo is not a option.

I've honestly never known anywhere or any group of people who feel that it's reasonable to 'toilet-shame' people.

Unless someone is avoiding something by doing it, which I can honestly say I never do deliberately, it's nobody else's business (ha!), how someone chooses to empty their bowels - have a wee, shower, bathe, dress or brush their teeth - as long as someone gets the job done wgaf?

As for the "why don't you get off and then go back for the second one", good flipping grief, why the hell would someone wipe twice, flush twice, wash hands twice, dry hands twice rather than just wait a few minutes - and who the hell are you to judge anyone for what they decide? It's the flipping toilet, it is literally no-one else's business than the person doing it.

Again, if someone's doing it to avoid jobs, or they time it so people can't use the bathroom then you've got a complaint, otherwise keep your judgement for something that deserves it.

To all the men (and women) reading this:

Just fucking go when you need to and be done within 5 minutes.

Then you can play on your bloody phone and leave the bog free for someone else.

HTH.

I sometimes find the very action of wiping my bum triggers a second lot. So then I have to wipe again.

Who shits on there break at work? I dont, I'd rather get paid to have a shit, and always feels great

puts the top back on the Nutella jar

Yeah - thanks for that

Yanbu. I have pushed a baby out faster than my DH shits.

Maybe it is a male thing. My two DS both often needed "seconds" back in the day when I had to wipe their bums. Not something I have ever experienced.

I'm a woman and I probably take about 20 minutes for the same reason given by the guy above - it just doesn't come out all in one go.

Because they can. I understand the "get it all out" argument. I feel the same and I am female. But I literally don't have time for that shit. Especially when the children were little and couldn't leave them for long periods of time.

My ex used to take 45 minute poos and we were young and childfree so it wasn't about avoiding jobs.

I think women: feel the need, sit on the toilet, push, and it's done. Men seem to: think "maybe I'll have a poo", sit on the toilet, wait 30 minutes to see if something happens to fall out due to the force of gravity.

It's weird. Why linger over pooing?

Not enough roughage.

this applies to both men and women but it gives me the boak to use ILs bathroom and there's books and magazines in there. I love reading but not books that have pee and poo on them thank you v much. WHY do people take books in with them eww

I used to have a boss who did this. He would spend absolutely ages in the toilet while clients were waiting for their appointment! It was disgusting and so embarrassing. The toilet always smelled so bad afterwards as well, and he'd never think to use the air freshener.

I suspect anyone who takes that long to have a poo needs more fibre in their diet.

"Air fresheners" just add the stench of a chemical works to the smell of shit.

I always find this discussion bizarre, as I have never been involved with a man who took an unusual time in the bathroom. I have noticed that men seem less capable of "holding it" - I can wait if I need to go, but the guys I have known seem to go from 0 to almost emergency in 60 seconds, but they've never been in there for long.