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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not lend my sports equipment?

45 replies

NotWithMyShoes · 28/01/2021 07:27

Someone I know has posted on a group chat asking to borrow some sports equipment. I have the requested kit, and I think most people know I do although it was a general not a direct request.

The weather has been bad the past few days and conditions are not great - high risk - and DH (v. experienced in sport) and I decided it’s not safe to go out this weekend so won’t be using the kit. So, in theory, I could offer that they use it. But. Conditions are not great, i don’t know how experienced they are - I’m assuming not as they don’t own the most basic pieces of equipment. Which I’m also assuming means they won’t have the correct safety gear. If conditions were ok, we’d be using it ourselves.

AIBU not to offer it purely because I don’t think it’s safe to use it? They are adults!

OP posts:
Happytentoes · 28/01/2021 07:32

It’s not at all unreasonable. Even if safety were not a concern, you are under no obligation to lend your stuff. It’s fine to ask, but if someone does ask they need to be prepared to accept a refusal , gracefully.

RoseAndRose · 28/01/2021 07:33

It's your stuff, and you don't have to lend it.

Doesn't matter what your reasons are

Coulddowithanap · 28/01/2021 07:46

This is odd. Do you feel like you should be offering?

I wouldn't lend something out that I didn't want to.

shitinmyhandsandclap · 28/01/2021 07:50

If you don't want to lend it then don't, you haven't been asked directly so just ignore. Why all the angst?

Original poster
NotWithMyShoes · 28/01/2021 07:55

Do you feel like you should be offering?
Yes, mainly because I know that they know that I have the stuff so not to answer makes me look bad!

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 28/01/2021 08:17

It's a safety issue, presumably. You know your kit inside out, and use it knowing it's as safe as you left it. I mean, I wouldn't lend my personal parachute to someone inexperienced...

'Sorry friend, people don't lend out gear like this. It's a safety thing. Also, if conditions are safe, we'll be using ours.'

Standrewsschool · 28/01/2021 08:20

There’s no obligation for you to lend the equipment. If anyone asks you directly, say you could be using it (even if you have no intention of going out).

Climbing gear?

MaggieFS · 28/01/2021 08:22

It's fine, ignore it. Surely even though they know you have it, they'd expect you to be using it?

LawnFever · 28/01/2021 08:24

Just ignore it, you’re under no obligation to lend out anything you don’t want to

Berthatydfil · 28/01/2021 08:45

First no one is obliged to lend anything to anybody, so feel free to ignore the posting.
However that being said if you are feeling like you should at least consider it
If this person is experienced at (sport) one would assume they would have their own (item) so they are most probably beginners and could injure themselves or damage your items if they aren’t very skilled.
Second if they are really keen on or really want to get into (sport) why not get their own kit second hand on eBay or fb.
Thirdly if conditions aren’t favourable to you to use it yourself and you’re experienced at (sport) then it’s probably not safe in any case.

TeenPlusTwenties · 28/01/2021 08:49

If I had expensive ski gear I wouldn't be lending it either.

timeisnotaline · 28/01/2021 08:52

I wouldn’t feel in the slightest uncomfortable responding ‘conditions really aren’t good this weekend- we would be going out ourselves but it’s just not safe when it’s like this.’

PyjamaFan · 28/01/2021 08:52

You don't have to lend your things.

I don't lend anything anymore as it's nearly always difficult to get the things back again.

Just ignore.

terrywynne · 28/01/2021 08:55

If you have decided it is not safe for you to use your own kit then absolutely don't lend it out to someone who you don't know their experience level! If they were experienced enough to cope with extreme conditions they would have kit of their own... (exception being if maybe they are waiting for new kit to arrive because theirs broke or something but I imagine you would know that).

I also do sports that are condition dependent and would only lend kit to someone who I know is experienced but has maybe sold their kit and not bought new yet, or in easy conditions under my supervision so I can judge their skill. And in the latter case I would expect them to eventually buy their own not rely on me (especially as worse weather etc tends to wear kit out faster in most activities).

SmileyClare · 28/01/2021 08:56

Assuming they manage to borrow the kit elsewhere, are you going to say anything about the unsafe conditions?

Do you think your friends should be warned about the high risk considering they are far less experienced than you?

What is it? Sailing? Hang gliding?

StarsonaString · 28/01/2021 12:11

Definitely NBU. I agree with putting a comment about safety on the post but you will know whether that is likely to get a backlash or not.

peak2021 · 28/01/2021 12:14

Not unreasonable for the reasons you give. Also if it would be condoning an activity not permitted under Covid 19 restrictions.

gannett · 28/01/2021 12:17

As someone more experienced in this sport you should be warning your friend that the conditions are unsafe, in case they borrow the equipment from someone else.

MaskingForIt · 28/01/2021 12:18

Your sea kayaks will be better off staying safe in your garage rather than being lent out to someone who probably isn’t experienced enough to manage the conditions.

Lucylolly · 28/01/2021 12:50

I have a full gym set up at home ... Mainly cos I record workouts for my fitness website but people who know me know not to ask to borrow them! I spent a long time and a lot of money building my set up so no way am I lending them to people to potentially not get back, get damaged/lost etc. So no you are not being unreasonable!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 28/01/2021 12:56

I'd ignore until asked directly, and then if asked directly I'd say no on the grounds of liability for any injury sustained whilst using your equipment. Potential expensive legal nightmare I would have thought.

CakeRequired · 28/01/2021 13:09

Don't offer. They'll likely break it and refuse to replace. If they won't pay up in the first place, they certainly won't pay up after breaking something.

MrsClatterbuck · 28/01/2021 14:09

I wonder if they have asked this way to look like they are not asking you directly but hoping you take the hint and offer. I think that's a bit underhand. I agreed that you just say no if asked directly and ignore if they don't. Hate people who want something from you but do round in circles with hints etc.
Just come out with it and no beating around the bush then you can be direct back and say no. Your equipment and your decision. Just because someone wants something you have doesn't mean you are under any obligation to give it to them. As someone said if they can't afford the equipment themselves are they going to be able to replace it if it gets damaged.

Allergictoironing · 28/01/2021 14:32

Depending on the sport/kit, isn't there also an issue of contact bearing in mind we are on lockdown due to Covid? The sports I have done in the past needing kit have all meant items that are in contact with me e.g. headgear, items held in the hands, gloves, protective clothing etc. In my current job we aren't even allowed to lend each other hi-vis vests that go over our coats at the moment, and have to wash our own mugs up & nobody elses.

AliceinBunniland · 28/01/2021 14:34

I wouldn't lend it unless I wanted it and during covid it is unnecessary contact - I would feel like I needed to clean it / disinfect it when I got it back

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