To be a bit worried about what I saw at daycare? PFB?

[diversity101]

Earlier this week my dd (6 months) had her first settling in session at daycare. This is my first child so it's also my first time really experiencing a daycare centre.

Most of the babies and toddlers in the room seemed happy whilst I was there. It was loud and noisy at times with some of the toddlers crying about random things (one wasn't happy with the lunch choice and one because it was raining too heavy to go outside) but I think this is pretty normal behaviour?

The things that concerned me where:

• one of the younger babies (not sure of age - sitting and crawling a little) seemed to be mostly ignored whilst I was there. No one really interacted with her. She was content but it seemed strange.

• one was upset because he was hungry. Lunch was apparently delayed so the boy fussed and cried for about 30mins whilst waiting.

• some of the toddlers found flags with pointy ends laying around and started running around with them. They were taken off them when someone saw.

• my baby shuffled over to a ziplock bag that was left on the floor.

Are these things normal or should I be a bit concerned? I think I might just be a little nervous.

The flags and plastic bag would concern me. The rest I'd expect. A six month old isn't old enough to be left if you want them to get the attention they would at home.

It doesn't sound like our nursery who are very nurturing and interactive with the kids. The baby room is until 16months or walking confidently, whichever comes first so you don't have toddler careering around with immobile babies on the floor and there are only 8 in the room max anyway.

I'd look elsewhere.

This is why we went with a childminder. She was absolutely amazing really cared for the kids, brilliant interaction/ education as they got to preschool age.

The local nurseries to us were fine and clearly safe/ clean etc. But as they were so big and busy we felt that they didn't have the time to really get to know the DC or interact with them.

thanks for the advice everyone. Knowing I can't change anything right now is stressful so I think I will just need to focus on the positives. The centre is across the road from my office (its actually partnered with my employer) and parents are allowed to drop in whenever they want during the day. Plus its only 3 days a week. If we are really unhappy I can look for another place but she will at least be safe there until I can find another option.

Its sounds a very convenient spot which I wouldn't dismiss - it can make a big difference. Also being able to pop in is great. I'd do that!

Keep an eye on it and don't be afraid to follow your gut or fed back your concerns. The second nursery my daughter went to was absolutely brilliant. The first, not so much. They were friendly and seemed to really like DD. But I should have moved her when her key worker told me that some days they forgot to take the daily key metrics on her as she was such and easy, happy kid. Translation - she's not getting attention.

Couple of months later I picked her up and she was clearly really ill (temp 39.5 when taken at home, literally a 3 minute walk). Since they were use to her amusing herself, they didn't notice when she was ill.

At the nursery I moved her to, that never would have happened. Brilliant place, great staff, happy engaged kids. Being at nursery was the best thing.

I'm in Australia. Have you had a look at family daycare in your area? From what you have said here it sounds more like the sort of environment you are looking for. I'm in North Queensland and there are loads of family daycares local to me.

The bigger centres tend to be lacking in nurturing and interaction. I can't really blame them - they're usually dreadfully understaffed and it's hard to recruit people because there aren't enough daycare assistants around. The pay is shit so nobody wants to do it.

The small baby being left without any interaction and by herself for the two hours you were there - and goodness only knows about before and after! - and only being moved to be placed out of the way would have alarm bells ringing loudly for me.

They would have tried to show you them all at their best in order for you to take a place there so doubly concerning.

Also, having babies in a room with fast moving toddlers and other children is not appropriate at all! That is an accident waiting to happen and I suspect will likely have occurred already!

When looking for a place I would definitely listen to what your gut tells you as you have to be confident in their ability to look after your little one. It isn't PFB at all - just being a decent mother.

Concerning about the bag as well, to be honest, and I'm more of a relaxed type of parent but that doesn't sound right at all!

I do get why some contented babies are left for a while but that is too long. Also snack being that late could cause all kind of knock on behaviours for some children so isn't exactly great at all but main issue for me is the baby being left, fast moving toddlers in with them and the plastic bag! Also sounds like not very high levels of supervision at all.

Under two's being together isn't uncommon. My son is in a nursery where non walkers are in a different room to those who are but that was the only nursery we viewed where that was the case.
Happy baby playing alone is fine.
Toddlers have tantrums is normal.
Pointy flags and bags on the floor is a concern and I wouldn't send my child there.
I totally understand accidents happen and have signed a few accident forms for my older children which is fine but the things you describe are simply accidents waiting to happen and suggest a lack of supervision.

I don't think that sounds great. Any childminders near you OP?

It doesn't sound like the kind of nursery i would choose - too big and busy. There are only 6 babies in our baby room with 2 staff so no chance of any babies being ignored. Large chain nurseries dont have the same feel as small independent ones in my opinion.

Op I'm in Australia. It's not normal for young babies to be in a room with toddlers. None of it sounded like a centre I'd be happy with.

If you need to continue there then do it but search out other places. Being able to pop in whenever you like sounds like a good idea but what usually happens is you pop in, your child sees you and is then hysterical when you leave them behind again.

Also look for a community centre rather than private.

I hated the first nursery we looked at so much I complained. Spent half day there and it was awful. Kettle was left on one of the shelves but it was low so kids could reach. They made hot drinks all the time which is fine but then left the hot drinks where kids could get the cups and 1 did and got burnt. Group of kids outside playing and I was the only adult outside for atleast 30 mins if not longer, I felt like I couldn't go inside as there was literally no one watching them. A kid fell off the climbing frame and random me had to pick her up crying. It's still open but I heard its improved.

Always go with your gut instinct. My nursery wasn’t perfect but they were warm and caring - especially in the baby room. It doesn’t sound dire but emotional warmth is what I look for. I was lucky to be able to do a year mat leave so my little ones were all walking in the baby room (it was a work linked nursery so most people were in this position due to the nature of employment/maternity leave benefits). What are the ratios of adults to children?

Do you have child minder locally? Would their waiting lists be shorter than nurseries maybe?

*childminders, I mean.

OMG! I'm a childminder and I am taking care of a 12 month old. That baby is cuddles by me, sits near me with toys in a high chair while I'm prepping lunch and is involved in play with the older ones. Nothing wrong with sitting and observing what's going on for a short while but little interaction for two hours? I'm shocked but not surprised.

When I looked around nurseries for my kids I saw some awful things. They were all good and outstanding Ofsted rated.

I'd look for a registered childminder if I was you. Haven't a clue how it works in Australia though.

And I wouldn't leave a toddler crying for 30 minutes because they're hungry.

I guess that's the flexibility of a childminder and it being home from home. That child would be given a breadstick or something to keep them going at my house.