What would you have said? Losing track of what’s ok

[ParadiseIsland]

I was talking to DH earlier on about an article I read.
Right in the middle of our chat, he took his phone out and rang his dad. Once he had finished his call, he carried on talking about the article, expecting me to pick up the conversation where we had left it.

What would you have said? Would you consider that normal or rude?

I once worked with somebody who did this. Would just walk off in the middle of a conversation and start doing something else. Awful. I stopped engaging with him. So rude. Made me feel worthless. I would not be with somebody who did this.

I don’t know it’s tricky. My ex was like this for about 18 months before we slit because he had checked out emotionally. He put it down to not realising ect .. but it was part of a wider issue. We went for a day out with the kids and I decided to not make conversation and to see if he did. He didn’t. If he spoke to me it was only about the kids. ‘Shall I get the ice creams now’ ect.. if we sat and watched them play he was scrolling on his phone. I knew then he had completely checked out from our relationship.

If it’s a couple of instances then he might be distracted but if it’s part of a wider issue then I think you may have a problem

I think you did the right thing refusing to carry on the conversation after. It's rude as it's treating the other person like something that can be picked up or dropped at your convenience rather than a person to be treated with respect.

Like you said, if he'd have interrupted you to say "Sorry, I just remembered I need to phone my dad, hold that thought" or something, then fine, but to just make a call with no explanation? That's beyond rude in my book.

I’d be delighted if my husband broke off conversation to put the bins out.... we’ve just missed the fortnightly collection again today....

This would and does annoy me. My husband does similar sometimes and I either pointedly leave the room or if he tries to rejoin the conversation I say ‘it doesn’t matter - the conversation has moved on now.’ He does often apologise. His mother and sister both talk incessantly often over each other and I think he learned in adolescence to ignore woman talking - it drives me mad.

Lots of truth in those comments.

I agree about the fact there is a wider issue. And he certainly takes me for granted on a lot of levels. How I am going to tackle that is a different issue. But I certainly have spent too much time finding excuses for him, appeasing etc...

@ShirleyPhallus, I think if he thought the subject was boring, he wouldn't have carried on the conversation on that subject? He would have just left the room/started talking aout something else.

To not even say “Shit, I haven’t called dad for his birthday” first is staggeringly rude.

I’d pick my 5yo up on manners that poor, let alone my husband.