I have no idea where to start with this and I am sorry in advance because I think now that I have started typing I don’t think I will blooming stop because it’s going to make it all just come to the forefront of my mind.
Me and my well I don’t know what he is was supposed to be fiancé however for the last year maybe even before that he has felt like a friend that chats when it suits him.
Rewind and we moved in together quite fast and then got engaged and we did have a good few years but then things started to change his mum took unwell and he was a mummies boy and at first I actual admired him for how much he cared for his mum and thought that it showed a gentle side to him.
Long story short no he actual just relied on his mum to fall back on when he needed money as he had become addicted to prescription drugs and when he got his medication from the doctors every week he would have them took in a few days and then started buying them from street dealers and as he didn’t work his mum was funding this crazy I know a grown man who’s mum is feeding his addiction.
His mum passed away and not long after his dad passed with Covid and their home was left and he decided that he was staying there while things were getting sorted and he felt closer to them there and it was supposed to be helping him grieve being there.
He was coming to our home on a Friday and was leaving again on a Sunday so I was a part time partner or not even that he came and as I am working from home and my hours are triple what they normally are there was times that I would be working and he would be playing his computer so still not really spending any time together.
He would sleep on the couch also so we became more friends without any benefits.
The last week he was not phoning me as much and then it was just to order him dinner and then tonight it has all blown up so he has been drinking (was a recovering alcoholic) had 14 years sober but he has been drinking every week from a Tuesday to a Friday because he runs out of his prescription and says this is the only way that he can cope with panicking and anxiety.
He has admitted tonight that he has been taking cocaine this week and sorry but someone with anxiety surely wouldn’t want the feelings that this drug gives of you google what it does.
He told me that he had not been drinking earlier then called me to order him food and I could tell right away that he had and it’s all just escalated from there I am done so over it all and him.
I feel like all I do is get stress from him he has now blocked me because I refused to order him dinner after hearing that he has been drinking and taking drugs and then all I got was it’s all my fault we are not working out and good riddance to me out his life.
I could keep going but I am sitting here crying because I would never see anyone without something to eat I can’t get through to him he has blocked me and he has actual made me feel like a nothing well he had already done that this is not a new feeling I just tolerated it all because I knew that he was ok if he checked in with me.
I did say to him that he will need my bank details because he owes me money and he was like can you prove it.
I am not saying I am perfect but I never talk down to him always put him first and this is what I get I am so done with it all and so so sorry for this rant and a half but I have no one in my life at all now no family nothing and he knows this but does not care.