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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask if you get your energy from being with others or being alone?

52 replies

PippaParsnip · 27/01/2021 18:14

For me, it's being alone.

I love my husband. He's amazing. We get on really well. But I just want to have the day to myself. My kids are older - one is working but lives at home and the other is a young teen. Again, he's fine but annoying in the way that teens are

I work from home and I'm used to being at home ON MY OWN. I get stuff done, I like having the house to myself, I just want to be on my own.

Instead I've had months of DH working from home too for the lost part, the youngest learning from home and the eldest working shifts so in and out

I've realised I need to be alone to gel energised. How about you?

OP posts:
AndcalloffChristmas · 27/01/2021 20:50

I need both I think!

Having the kids in the house all the time is really hard (single parent and ex has decided now is a great time for major building works on his house Hmm ). I really miss time all alone.

But I also miss spending time with other adults and think I do need company to feel energised also.

The kids are wonderful and lovely, but the constant company of children and lack of any adult company is pretty tiring!

Laiste · 27/01/2021 20:51

I don't need to be alone but i do need quiet. If the people i'm with cannot be quiet (toddlers for eg) then i'd need time away. Couple of hours.

Constant racket drives me insane.

WanderingMilly · 27/01/2021 20:58

I find people very draining, although a one-to-one catch up over a coffee is lovely. Can't cope with gatherings, groups and parties etc. If I have to attend something like that I frequently escape to the bathroom or whatever to recharge.

I like being on my own, prefer living on my own these days and would never share my home with a partner again. Happy to be part of the work team but that's because I can go home at the end of the day and get some peace and quiet. I haven't found lockdowns a problem as it suits my personality....

RabbityMcRabbit · 27/01/2021 21:00

I love being alone. Am an introvert through and through. I like some people but love being alone and need to do so to be able to function socially

LynetteScavo · 27/01/2021 21:01

Other people drain me.

This is what lockdown has taught me.

Hawkins001 · 27/01/2021 21:07

For me, it's having my own time for projects ect then also having people to chat to when I want a nitter natter.

bettertimesarecomingnow · 27/01/2021 21:08

I need people! I get very lazy and low when I'm by myself.

billy1966 · 27/01/2021 21:24

I have been surprised recently by how shattered I feel after an very occasional 90 minute walk with a friend.

I actively avoid people at the moment but can't always.

I enjoy the meet up but am shattered by it!

BobbinAround · 27/01/2021 21:25

@LastStarFighter

I need some time alone. It’s the definition on introvert v extrovert- where you get your energy. (Although people confuse it with being shy v outgoing). I am an outgoing introvert who likes people 😁 but I get exhausted if I don’t get alone-time.

This is me.

I miss the days of wfh when DH went to the office, I could drop DC at school and come home to an empty house. Right now I cannot get 'quality' time alone. Even if I go for a walk DH thinks he's doing me a favour by coming with me. I'm tired and grumpy and whilst I desperately want to get out and see family, friends and work colleagues I also need proper time on my own.

Frozenintime · 27/01/2021 21:27

Alone

KarmaNoMore · 27/01/2021 21:27

Being alone. I am a very extrovert introvert, my work requires me to talk to a lot of people a day and I am not bad at it, I enjoy the laughs, jokes, connection and problem solving as a team.

But please leave me alone with myself as soon I finish work.

CoffeeRunner · 27/01/2021 21:28

50:50 for me too. I love my own space, but my mental health is most certainly better for the fact I have been in the workplace throughout the pandemic.

If I were to work from home I would find it much harder.

FreezerBird · 27/01/2021 21:33

Alone. I haven't been alone for months. It's starting to be noticeably bad for me.

Godimabitch · 27/01/2021 21:38

Alone. I can feel the energy draining out of me when I'm around people. I'm autistic, socialising takes effort and I have a sensory processing disorder, people are very noisy. I've found through lockdown I'm perfectly happy being alone at home, although I do enjoy DHs company and do miss him, I also need time away from him.

Updatemate · 27/01/2021 21:39

I get energised from doing things for me. Sometimes that's alone, sometimes that's with others.

Chimeraforce · 27/01/2021 21:39

Definitely get energy from being alone. I find company exhausting and need to be alone to recover.
Any company, work, family, good or bad.
I find the people aspect of employment much harder than any actual task.

ThatDamnKrampus · 27/01/2021 21:42

Being alone. I find it the most blissful experience especially of it is silent. I think I'm just ak antisocial bugger! 🤣

YouShouldLeave · 27/01/2021 21:42

A-L-O-N-E
It’s the only way for me...

EwwSprouts · 27/01/2021 21:42

Alone. Need company sometimes but my retirement plan is a couple of dogs, books and a cottage somewhere rural.

ThatDamnKrampus · 27/01/2021 21:44

I haven't been truly alone for about 3 years maybe longer. It is hard but I can can cope as long as I can have silence or am not actually expected to talk or socialize with the people around me!

Bunchup · 27/01/2021 21:44

Alone.

I've never in my life had sufficient solitude. All my happiest memories are of times when I was alone.

It's very difficult to explain to loved ones and friends that all I want is to be left the fuck alone.

Jellykat · 27/01/2021 21:51

Both, really missing banter and having a laugh with other people atm, it definitely energises and keeps my brain 'on its toes', but i also need alone 'recharge' time..
Normal life is usually balancing the two, being by myself in lockdown is turning my brain and body to mush, i'm like a slug atm.

Tweaker · 27/01/2021 21:53

And you can't bite someone's head off for simply living in their own home can you?
I was thinking exactly this earlier @PippaParsnip
I actually go out to work part of the week but I never get any time in my home alone. Not one minute, and its driving me mad. Even if everyone's in different rooms it's not the same, not restorative Sad but I don't want to say anything as its not dh and DD 's fault.

Cameleongirl · 27/01/2021 21:54

I’m like @LastStarFighter, an extroverted introvert. I love socializing but realized during the pandemic that alone time is really important to me. I feel calm and think more clearly when I know that no one will suddenly thump down the stairs or burst into the room! That happens a lot with DH and two teenagers in the house!

The pandemic’s made me realize how different I am to DH, he wants to be in a room with other people even if he’s quietly reading. I might need to invest in my own private shed at some point.😆

stitchmaker85 · 27/01/2021 21:59

I love being on my own. Being cooped up 24/7 whilst homeschooling DD and with DH working from home is hell. Plus he hums or sings ALL the time.
Sometimes I sit in the car for half an hour just to get some time on my own

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