Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Avoidant behaviour

13 replies

Namechanged125 · 26/01/2021 21:17

Hi all.

I've had a very upsetting day today and would like your input please as I feel like I'm going mad.

Avoidant behaviour from men... AIBU in thinking that a grown man should be able to deal with relationship issues without just going into "ignore" mode?

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 26/01/2021 21:18

YANBU 🌺

Ivy455 · 26/01/2021 21:20

They absolutely should.

MrsJasonIsbell · 26/01/2021 21:26

Oh, I agree it's infuriating, but oh so common Flowers

jackjackjacks · 27/01/2021 04:54

Yes they should. I'm dealing with this at the moment. It's fucking awful.

HouseOfRunners · 27/01/2021 05:05

YANBU I’ve ended relationships because of this. It never gets any better and you end up dealing with things alone or waiting for them to finish their sulk. Tedious.

bushhbb · 27/01/2021 05:09

Clearly a difference of opinion here

I don't think there's anything wrong with taking time away, say a free hours, then returning when ready. If I'm upset I don't always want to initiate conversation immediately.

But ignoring and in refusing/walking off isn't good. It's updating and frustrating for the other person- especially if it's for an extended period of time

The takeaway for me is even if you don't feel like talking, your partner should always be willing to at least listen and let your voice be heard.

impostersong · 27/01/2021 05:11

I have one of those too, so frustrating. It means we never actually deal with anything and things just ended up boiling over. No solution I'm afraid but you're not alone with your man child.

Bobcatbob · 27/01/2021 05:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Monty27 · 27/01/2021 05:50

I had one of those for 13 years. It's history now. It would have been different if he could have shown some emotions at the right times but he couldn't, and I couldn't teach or reach him. I threw the towel in eventually.
Oh and it was lonely.
Good luck OP 👍🏻

Original poster
Namechanged125 · 27/01/2021 12:23

Thanks for the input everyone.

This is a fairly new relationship and I've never dealt with this kind of behaviour before. I've got no problem with him/us having time to ourselves with our thoughts but he just shuts down completely and I can't reach him.

OP posts:
jackjackjacks · 27/01/2021 13:39

My OH does the same. It's pretty much emotional abuse, to be honest. I'm not sure what I'm doing putting up with it.

Calmandmeasured1 · 27/01/2021 13:43

Fairly new relationship - I'd just dump him.

Original poster
Namechanged125 · 02/02/2021 14:22

Thanks for the thoughts on this.

Things have worked themselves out as he dumped me!

I shouldn't be upset but I really am. I feel so stupid and used.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page