To feel absolutely gutted

[Whatisthis543]

After several tests it looks unlikely that I can have children biologically. Might not be the right place to post but I just feel completely heartbroken. How do I move past this? Started to think about adoption. I don’t know what to do

It sounds so silly but I keep wondering what if we’d tried earlier, would things have been different. I’m still in the ‘typical’ fertility age range according to GP but just think if I’d have tried mid 20s maybe I would have had better luck

I am so sorry. I was told the same and went on to have 2 children at 38 and 42. There may be hope?

Oh that's really crap for you. It's not a quick or easy thing to come to terms with me.

Adoption would also be great. We couldn't do it as we were considered to be too old

How utterly shitty. I’m sorry OP.

I can't have biological children
It was hugely shocking to hear at the time but now I have two incredible children who I adopted.

It's an amazing journey. I've never felt that I've missed out. Life is great

I'm so sorry, that is awful for you.

I have sort of been where you are - no chance of a natural pregnancy. What I would say is to give yourself a chance to breathe. It is overwhelming news and you have to adjust so many changes in how life may now be. That takes time and space.

You mention adopting but are all other avenues out? Surrogacy, donor sperm/eggs etc? I'm not for a second suggesting adoption is 'second best' but it's not for everyone and that's ok.

Are you getting counselling- both you and your partner? It may be a good idea as there is so much to unpack. I found the guilt I had at bring the one at 'fault' was as difficult to manage as dealing with the news from my own perspective.

Give the news time to settle, to grieve properly. Because it is grieving (even though I ultimately had a positive outcome, over a decade later I can still get upset by people viewing conceiving as an exciting and positive thing not something filled with pain and loss).

I'm so sorry OP

WTF voted YABU

I’m in the same boat. It’s shit. Let it settle. Explore all options in time, but don’t rush in to anything.

I’m sorry, op. That’s really tough. Take some time to process the information and look into your other options. I’m a mum through adoption and while I would totally recommend it, the process itself can be difficult.

I had unexplained infertility and after several failed iui cycles and two failed ivf cycles, we made the decision to apply to adopt. My 6 year old has been with us for the last five years and I can honestly say I couldn't love him more if I'd given birth to him. A little bit of me would have liked to have experienced pregnancy but I've moved on that now.