Hi all, I have posted this in this category so I will hopefully get a bit more traffic, but i understand that it might not be the most appropriate place.
I have included bits of info in other posts but maybe more so in reply to others posts, so you might remember bits.
So there has been a history of abuse, exP a drinker. We have a DS, lived together for almost 2 of those years since DC came along. The second year being the worst. We had housing issues and had to leave, and for one reason and another me and DS ended up going to stay with family. That's also been written about on here before. Mine and exP's relationship didn't really carry on it was just dragging along, we weren't finding anywhere for us to move back in together for several reasons and plus I knew deep down it wasn't what I wanted or what was best.
Fast forward to since last summer I told ex that we would not be getting back together/I would not be living with him, things have been up and down since. I regretted not reporting him for what he done to me, and at times his texts were getting too much, so I ended up reporting him via 101. They asked more questions and it kind of went on from there. They done a statement and are looking at charging him, not sure about sentencing. He is on bail at the mo, and of course SS are involved, not being naive at all but everything has been good with them, more so because of what I had already done, they have had contact with ex too, and he has said things I am not surprised about. But the instructions for the time being because of concerns raised, is that there is to be no contact until he takes it to court, or if.
He has also been asked to see someone in regards to his drinking, reluctantly and done the usual 'I don't have a problem'
Long post I know, but I am really looking far a hand hold, and any experiences of others, I feel sad and disheartened and disappointed by it all to be honest. And because no one wants to have to see that person for what they are.
The first person I might often talk to is my DM, but the issue there is as my DF came in to conversation with SW, is thoughts of her feeling sorry for my DF and saying things like 'oh how could you mention your father etc' my DM is one of the last to talk to about alcohol issues, as she still doesn't accept 30+ years on that my DF has a problem. But she will look at others and criticise. What my DM does not take on board, is that had SS been aware or allowed to be involved in our upbringing, she would of been hearing the same conditions, and advice back then.
But on one small side of the other hand, SS are expected to take that view, they certainly don't seem to question a parent drinking as such. But in my case it's because they are wondering why my exP can't on the days he was seeing our DS, avoid alcohol when he's got all the rest of the time to do thar, took the words out of my mouth!
So yeah now I am left having to well, leave it at that really, and if exP wants to take it further then he can of course. Other than that yeah it feels a bit strange. Also have to apply for maintenance to be sorted out, as that is something that exP has been lacking in for a long time, and is getting away with it.
Thankyou for reading if you make it to here!