Should I leave him?

[Snowmakeseverythingbeautiful]

So been together 8 years, 3 kids, a teenager a baby and one child with additional needs. I'm just so bored and fed up i know covid has alot to do with it too. But as regards us I don't even look forward to him coming home from work because I just feel bored we've nothing to talk about apart form the kids. There's no quality time together and to be honest if we had I don't think we'd have much to talk about. I feel lonely and bored and fed up, I must also add that I have no outlets out of the house, I have no friends and very little family which I know doesn't help but its hard to try and make friends In your 40s, I had great plans of joining baby groups and really try to make an effort but covid put paid to that. We have issues in the bedroom too, he suffers from ED/performance anxiety so it make sex not really enjoyable because I'm waiting for things to go wrong. Its also affected my self esteem no matter now many times he says its not me, it still hurts. I also suffer with my mental health and honestly I wonder if sometimes everything would be better if I was on my own with the kids. I'm sorry for babbling I'm not very good and putting things together so any advice would be welcome thanks

Yes.

If you want to salvage it you probably can, though it takes a lot of effort and I expect neither of you have much energy left after looking after the children. You'd have to make a conscious effort to find things to do together, ideally get out of the house together every few weeks (post-COVID). A shared hobby, even boxsets you can watch together.

But the real question is if you WANT to reconnect or not?

Op I wouldn’t make any big decisions at the moment-covid and lockdown will be putting immense pressure on you both and won’t last forever.
Have you spoke to him about how you feel? He could possibly feel them same. Try less focus on sex and more on intimacy. Also it’s so easy to get in a rut when there’s literally nothing going on in your life (no socialising, days out etc). Find new ways to have fun together, get creative. Learn to laugh together again. Me and my DH have taken up playing daft board games together, doing online quizzes, things like that we wouldn’t usually have done, to break the monotony. Cooking together. Shove the kids up to bed out the way and have a move night.
Be kind to yourself and each other it’s rough for us all at the moment

You might be able to reconnect, if that's what you both want. How about relationship counselling?

I've found in my own relationship that the times I've started to think dp was boring are the times that I've actually slipped into being boring myself and I want him to entertain me. So maybe try finding a stimulating activity you enjoy and see if that helps?

I imagine you are tired and spend what energy you both have on the dc.