To not feel mum guilt?

[Frazzled99]

I hear the term 'mum guilt' all the time and everyone I know with children seems to feel it! Being a parent is bloody hard and I do try my best. All the things I guess I should feel mum guilt about.....having DD2 when DD1 was only 16 months, breathing a sigh of relief when DD1 goes to her CM, shouting if things get too much, screen time, introducing formula as I need some bloody sleep etc etc.....I just don't have the guilt. Should I? Any other non-guilty, cold hearted mothers out there?!

No, no, no. Not the mum guilt here. Sometimes I fuck up, feel bad and apologise. But guilt for going to work or having a bit of time to yourself? No way. I make my choices for the right reasons and stand by them. If things aren’t working out, then changes will need to be made. You can’t be a martyr in this day and age.

I have a couple of friends who seem to feel guilty the entire time for every single decision they make regarding themselves and their DC - and to be honest I find it really tedious (and more than a tiny bit attention seeking). I'm not a monster either, just a fairly rational person who is capable of looking at the facts, making a decision and then accepting that I made that decision as best as I could at the time and if it doesn't work out perfectly, then that's ok and I'll deal with the consequences.

I'm not perfect, I do mess up, but a lot of the time I don't see the point in wallowing in it - it's best to just accept the situation and move on. DH is fairly similar.

Yes loads at the moment. Ds seems to have emotional problems so I am feeling pretty bad that I have done a generally bad job of parenting. Mum guilt that the age difference was too small, guilty that I went back to work too early and right now too much screen time and to little time with them as I have lots of my plate.

Some of these are priceless.

Apologies again to the apostrophe police - it was typed in haste. I actually studied English at uni but you wouldn't know!

It turns out I have to fill out an online application which contradicts much of the (serous!) advice given here. It's for a social care related post within the local council so very different from the corporate world (thank f**k). The first thing they'll read is a 4000 character personal statement. Better get scribbling!

Sorry, wrong thread!!