AIBU to think people should take medical conditions more seriously?

[Basketballerr]

A fair few members of my family and some friends of mine have diagnosed medical conditions that have dietary changes included as part of treatment but they just seem to completely ignore this alot of the time.
For example diabetics who still regularly eat sugar/drink alot of alcohol and are careless with checking blood sugar and taking their insulin.
Celiac disease but will regularly eat gluten and not accidentally, I've witnessed them eating leftover toast from the kids etc then saying oops I'll pay for that later.
Acid reflux (as part of a wider diagnosis) which causes terrible pain if they eat late or eat certain foods and they still regularly eat those foods.
High cholesterol and given a low cholesterol diet that is completely ignored.
High blood pressure and told to stop smoking/drinking.
You get the idea.
I am not saying it's easy and as a person who does not have any of these conditions I cannot sympathise to how it feels but I lived with a diabetic who nearly died on several occasions due to not caring about what they ate and not doing their insulin. I get it's their business but at the same time I worry about them.
AIBU to think things like this should be taken more seriously!?

I have a chronic autoimmune illness so have to be really careful to look after myself. I don't drink or eat gluten, and eat lots of veg and get lots of exercise. If I don't look after myself, I feel it really quickly.

Instead of getting pissed off about this, I've reframed it positively as my illness has basically made me more in tune with my body. I get much faster feedback when I'm doing something not good for myself, and I stop it. I can't eat cake? Ok I'll have some chocolate instead. Not a problem.

If I didn't do this, I'd end up bitter and resentful for the rest of my (hopefully) long life!

I do get where you're coming from particularly with the example of your ex. That would have been very worrying for you to have to see happening over and over again.

I have a close family member who is diabetic and who doesn't always watch what they should even though there are already a whole lot of issues due to this from previous times.

It isn't nice at all and it is scary having to sit back and watch this despite knowing the effect it has.

I also understand that some do want to continue on with their lives and that having to put limits on things etc is beyond frustrating for them and they just have times that they want to be normal and to feel it and not be restricted.

But ending up in hospital needing treatment due to not following what should be followed is not great at all and serves zero purpose apart from making the original condition worse.

I have another close member who has to avoid certain foods and has done for a long time otherwise lots of bad pain happens. I know the whole checking ingredients on everything and the frustration and annoyance about it all. And feeling how unfair it is.

But ultimately I do feel that people should follow what they can with regards to their own health. I have a chronic condition - several - and I have to otherwise I would end up in hospital. To me if I don't bother and end up being admitted then it is ultimately my fault as I didn't stick to what I should have done.

I've even seen someone who waiting for gallbladder removal still went on to eat lots of the foods that are well known for triggering the attacks! That was beyond me as the pain from that is on a whole other level!

We are all responsible for own health and I do feel that we should try and stick to what we should do as much as we possibly can. As at the end of the day, it is about our own lives and trying to stay as well as possible to be here for as long as possible to enjoy our lives. It isn't someone else's responsibility to constantly make sure that someone is sticking to what they should be especially when the price to pay is a hospital admission or severe pain coming on.

Niece takes her conditions very seriously but I think some are in denial. I do not judge them for that. Chronic illnesses can be hard to come to terms with.

Having a chronic condition is crap.

I have two, I have type one diabetes and I only have 20% of my spleen.

I’ve had type one diabetes since being a very young child, its shit.

To manage well you’re essentially orthorexic which isn’t healthy, purposely abusing insulin and bulimia is common in type one diabetics. It isn’t just the limited diet, its how that impacts your life, I’m a rugby player so I have to do a lot of prep to be able to train nevermind play. You can’t just nip somewhere, you can’t just jump in the car and drive a long distance, you can’t get affordable travel insurance for some destinations. The broken sleep, fighting for decent treatment on the NHS, knowing that even though you have well controlled diabetes you could lose toes, sensation, lose sight, have kidney problems etc.

My partner is great about my diabetes now, but he didn’t really get it at first, he thought I could essentially eat what I want as long as I take my insulin. He went to the States to work for a couple of weeks and bought back some oreo flavours I had requested, I ate three and that was my daily allowance gone. We were eating them while watching a film so aimless eating meant he ate the whole pack (which is admittedly maybe only 6/7 biscuits that I hadn’t eaten). Seeing someone eat something you can’t have is shit.

Then there are the highs and lows, its very common for these to cause unusual, aggressive, sweary behaviour, slurred speechcetc. When you are in a hypo your brain is unable to function properly, if it happens in public people think you’re drunk so no one helps. You have to tell a new partner when he sleeps over how you may behave if you do go into a rare hypo, really ignorant people actually think when you’re brain is severely starved of sugar that you are in control of and aware of your actions.

Diabetic food. Diabetic food is criminal, it tastes crap and isn’t good for you.

Another diabetic here. I’m mostly well controlled but sometimes I admit I do think fuck it and take the odd hit to my control for the sake of enjoying something I shouldn’t.

Although life has improved over the course of my years as a type 1, with the libre sensor and insulin pump, it’s still fucking relentless.

I fucking hate people who think that if you don’t have perfect blood glucose numbers when you are diabetic that you are doing something wrong/purposefully not looking after yourself. I also hate people who when you are high/low ask “what did you do to make that happen?” I don’t know. If I fucking knew then I’d have perfect control.

I spend half my life being told by my diabetes team that with modern insulin and a pump that I can eat what I want, when I want as long as I dose appropriately. (The issue being, of course, that the “appropriate” dose is impossible to calculate as EVERYTHING affects it.) And the other half of my life being told by every Tom, Dick and Harry being told “you can’t eat that - you are diabetic!”

Diabetes burnout is incredibly common. It’s mentally draining to be constantly aware of your blood glucose level/insulin on board/food you are consuming/food you are digesting/how active you’ve been today/how active you were yesterday/how well you slept/where you are in your cycle/whether you are ill/whether you are stressed etc etc etc.

I’m sure it’s hard watching a loved one “do it wrong” but believe me, it’s harder dealing with it yourself. And that’s without people close to you judging you/constantly commenting about it.

YABU. I have coeliac disease and take it extremely seriously, any mistakes I’ve made have been accidental ones. But even though it’s second nature now, it’s fucking exhausting sometimes. Having to check and double check labels of everything you eat, because even something you’ve bought before can change ingredients. Having to use separate everything for your own food. I’m a single parent and sometimes feel like I have barely any time to eat as it is. Not to mention the having to explain it to people, most of whom have no idea what CD is, and deal with inevitable jokes about what the symptoms are. It’s much easier going out (when we could) than it used to be, but that’s still definitely the hardest part, finding somewhere to eat that you know can be relied upon.

If I didn’t have such a severe reaction to eating gluten, I might well finish off my kids’ toast now and again, frankly.

@CheesyMother Yep, I always want to say “do you have type one diabetes? No then fuck off”.

[quote SimonJT]@CheesyMother Yep, I always want to say “do you have type one diabetes? No then fuck off”.[/quote]
@SimonJT I opened this thread thinking it might be by someone with T1D/a different chronic condition venting as so many people don’t take it seriously (oh, the problems of sharing a name with a different medical condition that largely has a different treatment!). But no, it’s the usual bashing of people with chronic conditions. I’m sure the OP would manage all these conditions perfectly.

It very much reminds me of how so many people are the perfect parent, until they have children.

Because we think there’s a pill (and the NHS) to sort everything out, lifestyle of choice is seen as a ‘right’ and consequently very few people take responsibility for their own health

I think ultimately you have to let people live their own lives. You've focussed on one thing but people are always doing things that aren't necessarily that good for their health.

I was progressing well with my diabetes and got admitted to hospital six weeks after diagnosis (for something else). I spent the admission being bullied for not doing enough to get rid of diabetes and being told my arms and legs would fall off. I was called lazy repeatedly.

I've multiple complex medical conditions including ones which lead to diabetes. I spent my admission in tears being accused of being manipulative, silly and childish. On the morning I discharged myself the lady in the bed next to me was given chocolate pudding with chocolate syrup for breakfast and then when they took her blood sugars (which were over 25) the staff laughed as shed claimed it was diet controlled - they have her the food she asked for. No one told her, that her arms and legs were going to fall off, she spent the day munching sweets from her bag as well (she was admitted for diabetes complications) and literally left to get on with it. She only drank fruit juice. No one commented.

My blood sugar didn't go above 8. I was refused food I ordered which I knew to be safe for me blood sugar wise and wouldn't effect my IBS and given other foods which did e.g. Banana which for me is like eating pure sugar and I cannot digest it properly.

I had my diabetes under control but now have zero medical support. No access to the food I could access before due to covid and conditions worsening and no one who understands how hard it is for me with multiple joints now splinted to cook healthily. All i had from my GP when I mentioned things being out of control was a lecture about needing veggies and fruit and to "get a grip" on my depression, because it's not like I'm a GP working in a pandemic.

Now I eat what I want. The depression and agoraphobia is almost crippling me along with the severity of the pain I'm in. I simply cannot cope with the sarky " just eat veggies/fruit/stir fry and it'll go away" comments. I went to one diabetes course session and it was all about blame - I've several, including a terminal illness I must take steroids for (steroids can cause diabetes), medical conditions including one which causes diabetes, and none of that was taken into account. The diet put me in hospital with massive bloody sugar problems - fruit might be "healthy sugar" but it led to me collapsing and spending a night really ill in a&e, again being lectured.

I don't care anymore. My life is miserable enough with no hope, no support medically and being blamed for my illnesses to boot.

I've repeatedly heard how type two diabetes doesn't matter. It does. Can kill you and cause you to lose limbs just as much as type 1 can. It also is not always linked to lifestyle.

If it doesn't matter then the diagnosis shouldn't exist at all and people shouldn't be told as I have been that my arms/legs will drop off and I'll die from it because clearly that's a lie.

I have allergies - I wish companies would take them more seriously! Literally every other product at the supermarket contains my allergens, there’s 4 products that I can use 🙃😞

To a certain extent I can expose myself and get no reaction, so I can see why the people you know might chance it with whatever they’re dealing with

@Becca19962014

I was progressing well with my diabetes and got admitted to hospital six weeks after diagnosis (for something else). I spent the admission being bullied for not doing enough to get rid of diabetes and being told my arms and legs would fall off. I was called lazy repeatedly.

I've multiple complex medical conditions including ones which lead to diabetes. I spent my admission in tears being accused of being manipulative, silly and childish. On the morning I discharged myself the lady in the bed next to me was given chocolate pudding with chocolate syrup for breakfast and then when they took her blood sugars (which were over 25) the staff laughed as shed claimed it was diet controlled - they have her the food she asked for. No one told her, that her arms and legs were going to fall off, she spent the day munching sweets from her bag as well (she was admitted for diabetes complications) and literally left to get on with it. She only drank fruit juice. No one commented.

My blood sugar didn't go above 8. I was refused food I ordered which I knew to be safe for me blood sugar wise and wouldn't effect my IBS and given other foods which did e.g. Banana which for me is like eating pure sugar and I cannot digest it properly.

I had my diabetes under control but now have zero medical support. No access to the food I could access before due to covid and conditions worsening and no one who understands how hard it is for me with multiple joints now splinted to cook healthily. All i had from my GP when I mentioned things being out of control was a lecture about needing veggies and fruit and to "get a grip" on my depression, because it's not like I'm a GP working in a pandemic.

Now I eat what I want. The depression and agoraphobia is almost crippling me along with the severity of the pain I'm in. I simply cannot cope with the sarky " just eat veggies/fruit/stir fry and it'll go away" comments. I went to one diabetes course session and it was all about blame - I've several, including a terminal illness I must take steroids for (steroids can cause diabetes), medical conditions including one which causes diabetes, and none of that was taken into account. The diet put me in hospital with massive bloody sugar problems - fruit might be "healthy sugar" but it led to me collapsing and spending a night really ill in a&e, again being lectured.

I don't care anymore. My life is miserable enough with no hope, no support medically and being blamed for my illnesses to boot.

I’m sorry for your experiences in hospital. Just goes to show how dangerous our unconditional worship of the NHS is.

But more importantly, don’t give up...don’t let the bastards drive you down!

You can do something about it and you know diet is key for T2. High sugar fruit for a start isn’t ideal, as you say.

Dr David Unwin is REALLY good on this. He’s a GP in Southport who prescribes lifestyle changes to his T2 patients with massive success

www.dietdoctor.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Diet-sheet-of-what-to-eat-with-Dr.-David-Unwin.pdf

Or Dr Michael Moseley and the blood sugar diet.

Do care.

Totally agree I was put in medication for high blood pressure last March. I am 44 stopped taking the pill after years of use but I dont drink or smoke and my BMI was 28 so have lost a stone but now I am on the medication dont know if it's that or me losing weight that has helped. Need to up the exercise and the eating healthier is a work in progress but it is a wake up call and most definitely isn't the fact I drink or smoke simply crap diet and exercise.

I can see why you'd be frustrated because in your eyes you're watching someone you love be self destructive but I've voted YABU because living with T1 diabetes is absolutely relentless.
There is never ever any time off from it. It's tricky, it can be painful, it's a bag full of stuff to lug around, it's maths, it's disruptive to sleep, it never lets you be spontaneous, it messes with your emotions, it's invisible to others (that can be good/bad), it's a full time job in itself and more. Getting to grips with it is an education and I'm not surprised some people just don't know where to start. The closest thing I've come to compare it to is looking after a newborn that you have to constantly hold.

@becca19962014 I am so sorry you have to deal with all of that and thank you for showing me that it's not just black and white when it comes to making the 'right' choices.
I am basing alot of my opinions on fact (from my job) and my personal experiences with people with such conditions and clearly i have a very limited idea of how it really is for people having to live day to day with these conditions.
Alot of what i know about type 1 diabetes is from my ex and he really did not care about following any rules, so many examples i can think of that he put his life in danger for no reason (went on a weekend away and only took 1 testing strip for his blood sugar as he couldn't find anymore, would regularly run out of insulin because he couldn't be bothered to order/pick up from the chemist etc) I know that even the best controlled diabetes will have highs and lows but he could have avoided so many. He is only in his 20's and has so many diabetic related issues that perhaps could have been avoided or at least put on hold until further down the line.

I am not perfect when it comes to the things i eat and maybe one day down the line i might find myself in a position where i have to make diet changes, who knows.

Alot of what i know about type 1 diabetes is from my ex and he really did not care about following any rules, so many examples i can think of that he put his life in danger for no reason (went on a weekend away and only took 1 testing strip for his blood sugar as he couldn't find anymore, would regularly run out of insulin because he couldn't be bothered to order/pick up from the chemist etc) I know that even the best controlled diabetes will have highs and lows but he could have avoided so many. He is only in his 20's and has so many diabetic related issues that perhaps could have been avoided or at least put on hold until further down the line.

for no reason

But there is a reason, as I and others have explained.

The reason is overwhelm or burnout or depression or an eating disorder or serious problems with executive function due to ADHD or years of chronic hyperglycaemia literally changing how the brain acts on decision making and taking appropriate action.

It won't always be obvious to somebody who doesn't get it, but it will be one of those.

Truly mentally healthy people who have adjusted well to their chronic illness do not behave like your ex did/ does. Loads of people mask depression in a variety of ways ('smiling depression' for instance) or just pretend not to care about themselves - it doesn't mean that they are actually mentally well and functioning optimally.

You might even convince yourself you don't give a fuck about yourself and so you don't care about your future health and don't test your sugars and run out of insulin - ok cool, but that's dysfunctional thinking and behaviour, broadly speaking stemming from low self esteem or low self confidence. Your ex had mental health issues.

I've never worshipped the NHS. I worked for them for many years, both Wales and England and too many times things were allowed to happen or overlooked and always the excuses were "it's just the NHS! It's fine!" In the case of things that were really bad "lessons will be learnt moving forward" basically translated as "we were caught this time, won't be next time". I wasn't on the medical/clinical side and despite requiring professional qualifications for my job I wasn't allowed to be paid anymore than band 2 admin and clerical because and, I quote "you're a glorified secretary".

Anyway, thank you for the kind messages, my meals must come from corner shop, most of the food in that link to be limited is all they sell. I can't get to proper shop, even if I could I can't prepare food anymore. Ready meals only for hot meal now, breakfast instant porridge, bread whatever they have in, rarely brown. I was offered help by social services but I couldn't afford to spend £6 on a meal every day, plus I couldn't have a freezer as it would overload electrics so pointless. They do hot meals but they are £8 and I can't afford that.

YABU and very sanctimonious. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before judging. You have no idea what it's like to live with a condition that forces you to change significant parts of your life, so why do you presume you would be any better?

I’m actually the complete opposite. I do everything I’m supposed to do diet, exercise and supplement wise for my Hashimoto’s, PCOS and celiac conditions. It’s other people who often can’t grasp why I don’t drink alcohol and don’t eat junk food. Quite frankly, I’d rather not have major stomach bloat, hair loss, acne and sleep like shit, than I would getting satisfaction for two minutes after consuming some cake.

Hm. I have type 2 diabetes (medication-induced, because we all know those of us with the blameworthy type of diabetes must give others a reason to not immediately dismiss us as just greedy), coeliac disease, and take medications that mean I have to avoid tyramine, caffeine and alcohol and carefully balance my salt and fluid intake. I also have high cholesterol, and get "encouraged" by the nurse to cut down on my saturated fats. But you know what, you try following a low glycaemic index gluten free low tyramine diet for a few months and see how much energy you've got left over for dealing with your cholesterol. Then try doing it when you're autistic, have severe mental illness and live with a hoarder. On a low income.

Don'tLike Trains - haven't they offered you a statin to deal with the cholesterol? I am type 2 diabetic (all my own fault obviously! It actually runs in my dad's family) and I was asked to take it despite my cholesterol never going over 5. I know some people can't tolerate them. My cholesterol since then has been 2.5 to 3.5. I'm due a diabetes check up very soon. Unfortunately my check up will always include Xmas which while I don't go overboard I do have a few treats then. They never allow for that.

Statins got mentioned at one point, then I moved areas and it was forgotten about among all the Covid stuff. Mostly they've just nagged me about diet and exercise. I try to manage with as little medication as possible, really, since I have to take so much for my mental stuff. But it's worth thinking about, I guess.