Two year old still not sleeping through

[jem2020]

Hi

Hope anyone can help

My dd 2 years old has been co sleeping with me since she was 10’months old and has never slept through the night since then.

Her father and I separated and I currently live in a one bedroom property. Hence we co sleep

There is no space to put a cot or even a mattress on the floor to keep us separate

So I’m just kind of stuck !

She is ratty and cries and has meltdowns through the day due to being so exhausted

I’m shattered too as she will easily wake up 4/5 times a night, takes a hour to fall asleep or even more

My brain doesn’t function and I always feel I’m in a brain fog

I am snappy, lose my patience with others because I’m so shattered

How do I break free from this vicious cycle it’s taken over my life and this isn’t the type of mother I ever envisioned to be. I feel horrible

Do you have any plans to move to a bigger place? It is very hard to stop co sleeping when there doesn't seem to be an alternative?

That must be so tough and no wonder you're feeling like this. It sounds like you know the co-sleeping has to stop, so if you can afford to move to a 2-bedroom get a sofabed in the living room and sleep in there

Hi thanks for responding so quickly in such early hours!

I can’t afford it at the moment that’s the problem.

That’s why out of desperation and before I lose my mind I posted on this

Can you get a sofa bed to sleep on in the lounge so that you don't disturb each other?

In the short term is there space for you to have a pull out sofa? Or a blow up? You sleep in the living area and little one in the bedroom? Are you in a single/double? Maybe you could do a swap for a single if you’re in a double and put a cot in?

Does she still nap during the day?

It sounds hard, I’m sorry. I hope you find some relief.

Could you do bunk beds?! You'd obviously have to have the top, which might feel a bit silly but at least you'd be on your own up there!

I had this exact problem until 2 weeks ago. Single parent. I have a single bed in my room (long story), other bedrooms are due to be/in the middle of being decorated. No family to speak of and I haven't had a night or day off since she was born. She would stay up or fall asleep downstairs late. I was terrified of getting her into a routine because she's so clingy. But one night I did it, to my surprise she took to it very well. She sleeps much better than she did.

Would there be space for a toddler bed if you had a single?
When she wakes what does she do? What gets her back to sleep?

My eldest didn’t sleep through until he was 2 and a half and currently getting my youngest back to sleep, (who’s 2) I never co slept with either of them so I’m no practical help but just wanted to empathise as I know that brain fog feeling very well.

See if you can pick up a second hand single or small double for you and a toddler bed for her. Make a corner of the room hers with her bed and some glow in the dark stars on the wall (or something else more attractive/ imaginative).

Try and get into some sort of routine with her being put to bed alone much earlier than you. Make a big fuss about her 'big girl bed'.

It's not an ideal situation but it's your reality so make the best of it by trying to separate beds at least.

Ah lovely, lots of empathy here too. Years ago I was a single Mum co-sleeping and my daughter was the same constantly waking and up in the night, then all of a sudden just over two she just got it and slept deeper. Now I have a nearly-two year old who I have never slept with but who sleeps through the night yet gets up for the day at 4am every day and I’m exhausted. I hold on to the fact that they are still doing a huge amount of development at this age and that at some point it gets better (though my youngest has medical issues and may never but I hope). I second the practical ideas of sofa bed or single and toddler bed. Also, please apply to your council if you are renting. Every council is different but I live very rurally and our council regularly has two-beds available for immediate let as people leave here for the cities. Mine even accepts people on their list from elsewhere as we really need more people - so it’s worth enquiring about.

Putting a pillow between me and my LO helped us loads.