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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pining for my old life - I’ve had enough

16 replies

Sundayscaries · 24/01/2021 22:19

I appreciate I am incredibly privileged to live in a nice home, to have a stable job where I can WFH, a DP and no kids at home that I need to homeschool.

But AIBU to just feel sick of everything now? I know this is probably just Sunday night dread (even though I really like my job) but I just feel like my life is just...nothing.

It’s just hit me that we’ve been living in this god awful way for getting on for a year now. I haven’t seen any colleagues in person since March.

I feel like my life is on hold as DP and I have discussed marriage (we are early 30s) but he isn’t keen to book anything or plan properly while we don’t know what the year is going to look like restrictions-wise but I’m really feeling the ticking clock now and don’t want to drag things on for another 2 years before we even TTC (I want to be married first, I’m currently 32)

This lockdown feels worse than ever because it’s so dark and unless I manage to squeeze a walk in while on a work call I literally can’t leave the house other than in pitch black dark and who wants to walk in the dark, cold streets?

I’m also scared to see anyone other than DP as realistically, even my local friends and family are a drive away (15-30 mins) and I’m so worried about getting stopped by the police as I don’t really have an ‘essential’ reason to be driving there for ‘exercise’ as there are plenty of walks from my door.

I desperately having proper laughs and fun times with my friends who live all around the country but in ‘normal’ times I’d have weekends away with and I’d go to stay with them etc.

I just feel like my life is now pointless, lonely and I’m sick of the uncertainty of when the hell we will get any sense of normality. I have deleted the news apps off my phone as I am fed up of the doom and gloom.

I won’t mention the dreaded C word as I know it’s not the right board but just for the record, I have had it, I was really quite ill and I’m only just feeling normal 2 months later.

Sorry for the pity party but I’m fed up of feeling like my life is so boring and empty. And then I feel horrendously guilty!!!

Anyone else?

OP posts:
JustAnotherOldMan · 24/01/2021 22:36

I’m in the same boat as you, full time WFH since March last year, no kids as home,
And compared to some of my friends and family, current life is pretty dull, but easy, walk the dog in the morning, WFH all day watch telly in the evening, so compared to some I think we have it pretty damm easy right now, when the spring comes around and we can get out more, life will seem much better, after all what would else would you be doing on a snowy Sunday in Jan ?

WithinAForestDark · 24/01/2021 22:37

Anyone else? Pretty much everyone I'd say. It's shit, it sucks, we can't see an end to it but we really are all in the same boat. I don't have an answer to give you hope or anything - just know that you're not alone.

Original poster
Sundayscaries · 24/01/2021 22:39

@JustAnotherOldMan

I’m in the same boat as you, full time WFH since March last year, no kids as home, And compared to some of my friends and family, current life is pretty dull, but easy, walk the dog in the morning, WFH all day watch telly in the evening, so compared to some I think we have it pretty damm easy right now, when the spring comes around and we can get out more, life will seem much better, after all what would else would you be doing on a snowy Sunday in Jan ?
On a snowy Sunday probably not much as we are snowed in Grin but it would be balanced again probably having met with a friend or family yesterday, busy week at work seeing colleagues and going to meetings, probably would have a holiday to look forward to.

Just feels like endless drudge and I haven’t even done any of the chores I planned to do today...!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sundayscaries · 24/01/2021 22:39

@WithinAForestDark

Anyone else? Pretty much everyone I'd say. It's shit, it sucks, we can't see an end to it but we really are all in the same boat. I don't have an answer to give you hope or anything - just know that you're not alone.
I know Sad probably a stupid question really but I feel like I don’t have any right to be fed up as I’ve got it so easy compared to others!
OP posts:
Conkergame · 24/01/2021 22:42

I feel exactly the same OP. We are similar to you, managed to get married last year but obviously it was nothing like we’d planned or imagined. It sucks! Maybe you should think about TTC before marriage so you are at least taking control of one element of your life? You could always have a small legal ceremony before the baby is born if that’s important to you?

Fairyliz · 24/01/2021 22:43

@WithinAForestDark

Anyone else? Pretty much everyone I'd say. It's shit, it sucks, we can't see an end to it but we really are all in the same boat. I don't have an answer to give you hope or anything - just know that you're not alone.
Yes this pretty much says it all. Think most people feel the same.
Fere · 24/01/2021 22:43

How comes you can't get a lunchtime break and are forced to be on a work call every single day? Including weekends... Every week?

You can get out for 20-30 min of the house in the morning before work (you would have been be commuting in normal times, right?).

User65412 · 24/01/2021 22:55

I have been thinking about how hard it is for couples. I am single, take my child to nursery and have a childcare bubble with family members. Families I know with kids have childcare bubbles and support bubbles (normally grandparents and other family meaning they've been able to maintain some contact and interact with another household at least). This is obviously necessary and great that they can. But couples can't bubble with anyone so it's been just them since March, really. It's shit for everyone of course but I'd just not thought about how lonely it must be, just 2 people for all this time. Like I said, shit for everyone and just an observation (not wanting to initiate a 'who has it worse' debate).

JustAnotherOldMan · 24/01/2021 23:03

busy week at work seeing colleagues and going to meetings,

I’ve realised how much a waste of time work is, meetings for no reason and colleagues who have nothing to do except gossip and don’t miss the commute for sure,
So no, don’t miss much of my old life, new one is greener, better and a lot cheaper right now

hammeringinmyhead · 24/01/2021 23:03

I'm doing a mix of part time WFH, looking after 2 year old DS by myself and weekends off with DS and DP. It's kind of going ok as long as I try not to think past the next few days - if I think ahead to doing nothing but this every single day until, say, April I start to feel panicky and tearful.

For some reason it all felt so much easier with Christmas as a marker ahead - there's nothing now.

SimplyRadishing · 24/01/2021 23:06

I could have written this. My life was v rich pre lockdown and i am struggling!

happily we managed to tie the knot in September so now on to ttc stage but the wedding was very touch and go and so stressy due to the uncertainty.

I booked a holiday in may this year. I don't even care massively if I dont get to go I just need something/anything to look forward to.

JulieJJ · 24/01/2021 23:11

Same.its the never ending feeling I hate.ikeep telling myself we have the vaccine,but it still sucks.

Poppingnostopping · 24/01/2021 23:22

This past week or two has been the worst for feeling like this, I think because of it being dark and January anyway and then a feeling we can't see what's ahead either or when it's going to end. Most people I know feel like this. I don't even want to do anything very exciting, just go out for dinner, lunch with friends, drive a while for a stroll, not a round the world cruise! Children also really feeling the lack of social options, although they do go out walking with one friend as its better than nothing. It's suffocating and boring but I guess that's not fatal.

fib11235 · 24/01/2021 23:23

40th bday hol cancelled, wedding downgraded to 15 at 1 weeks notice, honeymoon cancelled 2days before and ivf delayed, shit year yes but it snowed today... I got to walk the dog in daylight and my parents hope to be vaccinated next week.
We just have to keep going and at some point things will start looking up, jan was always going to be tricky due to the darkness/weather but each week done, we are another week closer to the end

HerRoyalNotness · 24/01/2021 23:26

I’ve been pining for my old life for 7years. I think I can handle a pandemic. Nothing much as changed for me Hmm

minipie · 24/01/2021 23:47

@User65412

I have been thinking about how hard it is for couples. I am single, take my child to nursery and have a childcare bubble with family members. Families I know with kids have childcare bubbles and support bubbles (normally grandparents and other family meaning they've been able to maintain some contact and interact with another household at least). This is obviously necessary and great that they can. But couples can't bubble with anyone so it's been just them since March, really. It's shit for everyone of course but I'd just not thought about how lonely it must be, just 2 people for all this time. Like I said, shit for everyone and just an observation (not wanting to initiate a 'who has it worse' debate).
Most families I know don’t have a childcare bubble or a support bubble.
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