Never will have and too short

[LesleyA]

Aibu to think that after 50 years of not exercising consistently (also with years of not doing anything) that even if I start something chances are I would maintain that exercise in the long term and if I have a wobbly stomach it’s probably not really ever going to be firm.
2nd we have our kids for too short a time. Fortunate of course to have them at all but the years fly and suddenly they could move out in a couple of years and move elsewhere and that was it! Besides being happy for them how can anyone possibly feel anything but impending sadness about losing the whole family thing and being so involved in their lives. Rightfully they will find someone who loves them and that becomes their main focus and you as a parent who loves them more than anyone in this year gets less and less time with them. Just can’t get my head around it... esp if they move away.

What?

Never will have what?

Put the sherry down...

maybe start exercising now so you have something else in your life?

Only you know if you will keep to an exercise regime and with a healthy diet and exercise there is no reason you can’t get rid of a wobbly belly.
Regarding the children moving out of the family home, I guess it’s bitter sweet, sad to see them go but happy that they have found love and that you have brought them up well.

Um... you're hoping for a firm tummy? If so then I don't think it's too late, but do be careful to start exercise gradually.

Errrm... I'm not exactly sure what your issue is.

With regards to exercise, it's never too late to start. I've not really exercised for decades but I'm just starting. My wibbly wobbly belly may well remain but at least I'm having a go.

As to children fleeing the nest ( I think that's what your second point is) I'm really looking forward to gaining more members of the family... I don't feel like I'm losing my children.
Yes, they're moving out and furthering their lives, careers etc... but my husband and I will gain more time together to do what we want to do and our children will visit with their lovely partners , and hopefully, some extra additions in the years to come.

I’m 50, I do a lot of outdoor sports in a non competitive way - cycling, swimming, hillwalking. I’d say that a good half of people I do these things with are women who started once their children grew up
(mine are only 9 and 12, and I’m valiantly trying to keep doing these things, because I’ve always done them and enjoy them).

So you don't want to exercise because your kids will move out one day?

Eat well, not too much and exercise. Lock the kids in a cellar. Sorted.

I'm in my early 40s and if you are walking try a little light jogging. You may enjoy it like me. It's very liberating when its snowing and people are in thick winter coats and your in your running gear warm cuz your jogging. It's great feeling I thought it would be boring but it's not. Give it a go. Xx. Start walking jogging walking jogging in one outing to build your fitness. Don't over do it. X

What? How are the two things connected?
Early start on the Sherry today? 🤔

I always reflect after a couple of drinks! No judgement here if that's the case. You can exercise with your children. I do. I dont have a flat tummy though.

I have young children and I already struggle with the idea that one day they will have their own lives which doesn’t revolve around me and I won’t be the first person they turn to for everything and they won’t want to cuddle and hug me all day long!

When I feel a bit down about this I like to remind myself that my job as their parent is to give them everything they need so they can navigate the world on their own, happy and healthy and full of confidence and security in their own self. My job is to love them so much now so that they thrive when I’m not there all the time.

That thought makes me feel a little better about the inevitable that these squishy babies will one day be adults who forget to ring me!

Put the sherry down...

I agree. It's making you maudlin.

We bring our children up to be well rounded people and go off and have a life. Don't we?

If they chose to come back and visit us or not actually leave then that is a happy bonus.

Haha did my inner monologue just post on AIBU without my permission.

A lot of people focus on exercise once their children reach independence. It's about finding something that you enjoy, for me it's weight lifting, it doesn't take a lot of time and you really see the results. I started to get rid of the anxiety you get because of the menopause. A relative is on the NHS posters, he started in his 60's and has kept it up.

I look at the children leaving as an exciting new start. It's helpful to view menopause and aging that way. I'd recommend the real marigold hotel, they are all reflective about getting older and other people's reflection helps.

I’d give couch 2 5k a go. It’s a pretty good programme. And I think that spending some time on you and for yourself will help you with your other worries. Give yourself something to fill the emptiness as your family grow up.

@Laiste

We bring our children up to be well rounded people and go off and have a life. Don't we?

If they chose to come back and visit us or not actually leave then that is a happy bonus.

I absolutely agree with you.

So many people seem to completely centre their whole lives around their children, and then fall to bits when they leave.

It’s important to make sure you have your own interests and friends in your life (and a partner, if that’s what you choose), so that you don’t make your offspring responsible for your future happiness. If they do continue in your life, then that’s a bonus, not a right.

You're back!

no sherry unfortunately. the two questions were not related. Just wondering if I ever will have a firm stomach if until now i havent despite intermittent trying.

About the kids...i understand we are here to bring them up as loved and as whole/confident kids so that they can go and live their lives. Just love love love being a family where we go away together, do stuff, hang out. So enjoy them.I do have friends and hobbies etc but just love and enjoy the kids so much i feel so sad that this is a transitional stage to their more permanent lives - their adult lives which are largely without us. seems weird. couldnt wait to have kids only for this time to be whizzing by. Cant imagine the house without their laughter, humour and sweetness. even if I do get the same from my husband. Nice to hear those who can empathise and also to hear that a lot can start from 50. thank you. and now to find that sherry.

I can’t wait for my younger ones to fly the nest!

My eldest will never leave home though as he needs 24/7 care. I feel so envious of other parents my age that will soon have some freedom back and be able to go on holiday together and have nights out with friends.

Thefeep im sorry that's the case with your eldest. You probably notice others having freedom even more because of not being able to. I cant relate at all to you wanting your younger ones to flee - i wish I could. I really feel I need to. do you enjoy having them around? do you not prefer going on holidays as a family? just interested really not critical. I just love showing them new places or new experiences.