To think that I should be able to have a phone call without my son screaming and play me up when im having a phone call.

[TuckItInYourHeart]

So the subject basically says it all really,
AIBU for wanting to have a phone call to anyone without my son screaming shouting grabbing me jumping on me following me around, he could be ingrosed in anything but as soon as my phone rings he starts and wants my attention it could be school, doctors, hospital, my DH or family members anyone.

Last week I had to have a vertical call with a consultant about my son and he was awful, demanding I put the smirfs on screaming it over and over, trying to jump on my head interrupting every two minutes screaming shouting he did this the next day when I was on the phone to my daughters school, it frazzles! He has ADHD and i can understand and have all the sympathy in the world for him he is trapped in and is bored but there's no need at all.

Is there anyone who has this problem or is just me

How old is he?

How old is he?

One of mine used to stick his head through the cat flap if I tried to use the phone. He got stuck in the end.

I have children with SEN and they respond to a stern word, and a social story that ends “and there will be no screens AT ALL if you disturb me.” I also take important calls in the futility room.

I think this is very common , I would put some TV on if you can then hopefully you'll get chance to take the call.

I would really try to manage it, rather than hope to change it.

He is 6, 7 this year.

Is there anyone who has this problem or is just me
I'm afraid its everyone in the history of mankind that has a child. As they got older this progresses to them going mum mum mum mum when youre trying to speak on the phone. I dont know anyone this doesn't happen to

Well he has ADHD so this is entirely par for the course.

I think you need to create a story board of expected behaviours for when you are on the phone. You need to clearly show him what he should do when mum goes on the phone. Whether that means teaching him how to put smurfs on himself or getting his Lego or whatever it is that holds his attention. You need to practise this over and over again. It’s hard. But it is what it is.

I always make sure when I need to have an important phone call that he has the telly on what he wants and snacks, he will still do it and follow me around. He could be watching a film doing crafts having a poo he will come to find me and play me up rotten while I'm on the phone call. My dad just rang now and I had to tell id call him back later as my DS was just screaming and being silly, my DS hasn't spoken to me for the last half an hour.

What does he say when you’ve absolutely bawled him out for behaving like that?

@WINKINGatyourage

Well he has ADHD so this is entirely par for the course.

I think you need to create a story board of expected behaviours for when you are on the phone. You need to clearly show him what he should do when mum goes on the phone. Whether that means teaching him how to put smurfs on himself or getting his Lego or whatever it is that holds his attention. You need to practise this over and over again. It’s hard. But it is what it is.

Of course it is, like I say its not his fault I do understand but its frustrating as he can go from 0-50 as soon as I say hell, ive tired story boards, I've tried visual aids, ive tried now and next

I hide in the car too.

I say to him, why do you do this when im on the phone and he says I don't know, obviously before lockdown ect his nan had him over to stay and when I ring to see if he's okay ect I can hear him screaming and shouting to get her attention, he does it to everyone.

I get it. I know it’s really frustrating.

Take it from another angle- try to schedule as many calls as possible for later in the evening when he is sleeping, or when your husband is home. like Calls from friends and family, your DH. Tell everyone why they should call you after X time. Or ask them to text you instead. Any calls that could be dealt with via email, try and arrange that- like the GP or school or whatever. Or arrange for your DH to handle these calls. Explain why it would be much better if they could do that.

I think more in depth questioning is needed. One of my favourite replies to “I don’t know” is “if you did know, what would you guess?” Often out it comes. Perhaps there’s something that triggers him? The ring tone?
Or could you assure him that if he is able to behave nicely on a call, he gets to end the call and say goodbye?

Lock yourself in your room and take the call.Thats what I do..My 6 year old has Adhd too

My nearly 13 year old does this. Starts asking me questions or plays his guitar to me. He might have not have uttered a word for a couple of hours and he turns up as if by magic the second i answer or make a call! He then gets upset when I point out that I'm on the phone!

I have a child with ASD and ADHD who used to do this.

We Had Words. I made a social story about it. I set out my expectations (based in what I know he can manage). I explained what the consequence would be if he fucked up my call, and if necessary I implemented said consequence every single time he did it.

He doesn't do it now.

This is standard kid behaviour. Dd used to do this...no adhd diagnosed ( yet!).

I think there is a place in SEN parenting for an absolute bollocking plus sanctions.

I remember reading on here years ago how an 8 year old girl would go into her parents every morning and slam the door and wake everyone up. For whatever reason she hadn’t been dissuaded from doing it, and it stayed with me that the mum didn’t think she had the right to say “do not EVER do that again” and go mad with her.

Warnings, a bollocking and consequences.

EVERY.
SINGLE.
TIME.

You are not alone. They can be playing perfectly happily or hours, and then as soon as you pick up the phone, they want your attention. It seems to be a sixth sense they have.

None of my dc had adhd and still did this.

@Vigorothello I agree tbh. You obviously can't expect your child to do stuff they're not developmentally or neurologically capable of, but they can and should be expected to behave to the best of their actual ability. It's doing them no favours at all to be allowed to do what the fuck they want.

Could you put your phone on vibrate and leave the room so he doesn’t know?

My 3 year old does this.
I lock myself in my bedroom.

If she’s really loud I lock my bedroom door and go in the en suite.