To wonder how the hell to keep house plants healthy and alive?

[malificent7]

Take the cheese plant i bought during lockdown 1. Water it too mucb it goes brown ( even though it grows in rainforests). Water it too little it goes brown. Ditto all other plants....even though i mostly get succulents.
As for Orchids...forget it.

Are you checking the soil? You only need to water if it's dry down to about 2 inches. What are the light conditions like where the plant sits?

I think it's something like sacrificing first born or goats on full moon.

I have issue with over watering. 🙄 i just love them too much and don't want them to be thirsty. There is quite a few very informative and fun Instagram profiles about houseplants. I like @philodendron for giggles.

Apparently we should remember not all plants will survive and need to keep moving them around the house until they like the place.

I killed 1, partially 2 others (trying to make them survive) in last 12 months.... Succeeded with 4 others though and bunch of succulents.

If you want, what I suspect is bit of a masochistic plant who loves shit owners - Scindapsus. Mine LOVES me and is a plant I am proud of.

It's simply a case of giving them the right conditions, ie, light, heat, water, etc. In the case of the cheese plant, it needs a fairly light room although don't stand it right in a sunny window. It also needs high humidity, so ideally you need to mist it, or keep it in a well lit bathroom, and as Botany says, don't just water it if it appears dry on the top, actually stick your finger in the compost and see how far down you have to go before it's moist, if it's 2" then give it some water

I do well with house plants, I just water once a week or a bit less and they're fine, don't even bother fertilising them. The only time they almost died was when I was on holiday last summer and they went 2 weeks without watering during a heatwave in a south facing room. I just cut off the dead leaves and they thrived again. I think the trick is if you're not sure they're ready for a watering or not, leave it another day.

Give them a good soak once a week, drain the pot after about an hour. Ignore for a week.

Works well for me, but if they don't like that then they're doomed.

How do you all water every week. Mine just don't dry out enough. One plant wasn't watered for over 2 weeks (is ok) and soil is still wet

I need to quickly correct the insta profile. It's @phileodendron (Leo Quang)

Get aloe versus. They seem to be unkillable. My cleaner knocked all the leaves off one (broke them off) and I literally picked them up and stuck them back in the soil and it's still going!

Ignore them and treat them badly and they seem to live it.

Don't overwater though as that will kill them. You can forget to water them for weeks and weeks though.

Peace lilies are impossible to kill. Water when the leaves start wilting. And then use it as a barometer for the rest of the plants. Everything else just dies in my house.

*veras

You need lower maintenance plants

The only real plant I own is a large succulent that requires watering every other month. 6 months later, it’s thriving! For more interesting plants, I just go faux.

Just get rid of them. Personally I can't bear them around; pots of mud, dust traps and yet another thing relying on you for all its needs.

I just buy fake plants, mix them up with real ones, and nobody notices! I'm ashamed to say I only have two real plants left, I've no idea why mine don't survive either 🙈

Oh yes they need way less water than I like to give them.

Mine get watered whether they like it or not. I don't leave them sitting in water though

Posting for tips as I'm terrible for this too.

I run a bit of tepid water into my bath and sit them in it for half an hour or so rather than watering the top. It's easier to water them all and stops fungus gnats. I mist some of them (esp Boston ferns) a few times a week though, and take them into the bathroom when I'm showering so they can benefit from the steam. Unfortunately I usually forget they're there and my kids are constantly shouting 'There's a plant in the bath'

botanybetty

How does that stop fungus gnats? We've had quite a problem with those recently and it's put me off buying new plants!

I stick with what I know I can’t kill: sansevieria, aspidistra, pothos and zamioculcas.

@HomeFailing they like to lay their eggs in damp soil. If you water them like this then the roots get the water and the top layer dries out, not optimal conditions for fungus gnats! If you've got gnats already it might take a few weeks but you can get rid of them. Also when you re-pot plants make sure you're using house plant specific potting mix (for the same reason - regular compost is v damp).

I second Peace l Lillys. Ive had one for several years though it doesn’t flower every year. It droops and I water it. Everything else I struggle to keep alive. I only recently was told about checking the soil further down. I’d assumed if the top was dry you water it.

After reading this thread I'm feeling bad that my peace lily is currently in rapid, irrevocable decline...

I have developed a house plant fetish. Husband is going mad about it and I keep killing em. Not fun

@BotanyBetty A second thanks for your advice. I have a huge problem with gnats also. I have tried watering from the bottom but perhaps didn't persist with this for long enough.
I put up a fly paper the other evening and the next day it had around 50 gnats stuck to it.
Is there anything that can be put on top of the soil to prevent them from getting in? There used to be something called Gnattix but it doesn't seem to be available any more.