my mind keeps going to the past, anyone else the same?

[coffeelover3]

I think it's cos very little is happening. My mind has started playing things from my past over and over. I'm remembering things and feeling combinations of embarrassment - from things I did/didnt' do - to regret, to nostalgia, to more regret, to not having enjoyed my life more at the time, to making "wrong" decisions, to not making decisions I should have but just coasting. Its starting to drive me a bit mad. Memories just crop up all the time, even if I'm cleaning the kitchen or washing dishes for the 100th time. I think it's cos everything is so boring at the moment, nothing happening, not meeting anyone, not seeing anyone my mind is going to places I'd rather forget. And so many dreams that leave me uneasy. Anyone else the same?

Believe it or not, it is actually a peri-menopausal symptom. It's when one of the hormone levels is low (can't remember which one).

That's interesting because I'm always like this just before and during my period and then it goes away again. But the last few months or so it's been more frequent, along with bouts of ridiculously high sex drive and oily skin/hair so now wondering if I'm peri-menopausal. I thought I was too young at 35 but maybe not.

Yes, same here. I've always been a bit prone to this, but it's been so bad recently.

I've got a 19 month old DS and it has me thinking back to my own childhood a lot, and I've had the slow dawning realization that my parents have always been a bit rubbish.

I am plagued by nostalgia and regret at the moment. I think obsessively about the five years I spent living alone in a foreign city, with amazing friends and career. I just can't shake it.

Sounds like normal life to me, to some degree!
I'd try finding something interesting to listen to while you're doing things that tend to let your mind wander. That helps me, sometimes.

Urgh yes. I've has to go on anti-depressants because it's affected me so adversely.

Menopause is definitely associated with this. It is self mental torture.

I do headspace meditation - observe the thoughts - that's all they are. Curious mindset - oh, thinking - let it go. You can go deeper - feeling or thought, positive or negative- but crucially let it go. Don't try to avoid or rationalise. You can't think your way out of overthinking.

I can usually then get on with my day and just replay the exercise if overwhelmed unexpectedly by feelings of regret that are spontaneously intrusive or triggered by little external things like a song or a tv programme.

I wish I could get my HRT sorted though and didn't have to do this.

Sorry OP, just realised I didn't really answer your question!

Yes, definitely. I'm dredging up decisions and events I literally have not thought about for decades. It's the middle of the night that's worse for me, although I do continue to think about them during the day. I think the nighttime issue is due to being peri-menopausal though.

Keepon - I'm not on HRT either, but have just started taking a magnesium supplement as recommended on another thread. It's definitely helped me sleep and seems to be keeping the intrusive thoughts at bay. May be worth a try for you.

Yes and I’m turning myself inside out with bitterness, far more so in the last 6 months than ever before.

I've been like this for years. Especially when I'm trying to fall asleep; my brain will dredge up something unpleasant or embarrassing to dwell upon. Cheers, Brain! Sometimes I feel like I'm the most awful person in the world but tbf I've never actually done anything 'bad'. This enforced boredom isn't helping. Good to know that it'll just get worse as I slip further into peri!

Yup, I have always had periods of time when I would replay things in my mind, but with my mind not being overly active at the moment it's got worse. I'm a night owl at the best of times but I'm often awake in the small hours.

I spend time going over things, I think about what I should have said/done, I day dream scenarios that probably will never happen but what I would say in them. I've woken up from rage dreams all angry and it's then lingered all day.
Not sure what the answer is, I've tried cutting down screen time (phone/tablet/kindle) spent time doing colouring anything that doesn't require me to think too much.

I too am struggling with depression and ruminating about the past. It feels like i'm on a hamsters wheel going round in circles!! Plus its really draining, and keeps me stuck.

Thanks to BiBabbles for that article. Looks very helpfull.

Peri is interesting.

We also don’t have holidays and things that are forward looking, so are looking backwards I think

Gosh I have found my people!! I can be so prone to one intrusive regret I never consciously want to Think about and yet I pops into my head at horribly regular times and upsets me even though I’ve learnt to immediately switch to something positive to move away from it literally every time. It still comes!

I am reading a book on positive thinking and trying not to look back at all and to be glad for exactly where we are now. but it can be hard and I’m so interested I’m not alone and that it can even be helpful to the a GP.

Is it peri related? Wondering if I'm getting peri symptoms. I have always been like this though. I'll be washing up or something and a completely random memory will pop in my head and I will cringe at it or wish I'd done things differently. Or if I said the wrong thing to someone, always over analysing

I obsess about the past all the time. I know it is not good but I can't help it.

Happens to me when I am trying to get to sleep. Sometimes, threads on here set it off too.

It's been particularly bad lately because a relative died who I had a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with. It brought up a lot of stuff from my past and it's been hard to push the thoughts away. I think you are right about the current shitstorm that is CV contributing massively too.

I have intrusive thoughts but never connected it with hormones (I’m 56 so definitely peri)
I wake up frequently, overthink everything and replay events and conversations
Distraction works for me - but I need multiple things for it to work eg knitting whilst watching tv, blocks better than just watching tv
I manage sleep with meditation apps, white noise or history programmes and pod casts on audio only through AirPods

I have had this all my life but it is particularly bad at the moment. I keep going over regrets involved with my parents dieing. I find exercise helps a bit and reading, but I am struggling to sleep at the moment.

Yes!! Wow I thought I was just weird and this didn't happen to other people and finding this thread has made me feel so much more normal. I thought I was losing it!

I am not managing it well but glad to not be alone with it.

I have done this all my life

Me too.

I've been like this for years. Especially when I'm trying to fall asleep; my brain will dredge up something unpleasant or embarrassing to dwell upon. Cheers, Brain!

Ditto . Drives me crazy! I would love a magic cure. I go over all sorts of shit. Things I didn't do but should have done or said, things I did but wish I hadn't. Jobs, people , all sorts. What I should have said to someone in a row years ago. Ugh, It's exhausting. Glad I'm not alone though!

Ive always been like this. I have chronic, debilitating low self esteem and I think it due to that. I'm always looking for reasons to beat myself up and undermine myself. Its probably ruined my life and at 43 I feel its too late for me now.

@frenchlavenderfeild Thinking that its too late to do anything is your low esteem talking, not your age. Don't give up - what would you say to a friend who said that about herself?

I’ve not read all the posts in depth but just wanted to say another yep over here! I randomly texted an ex (and still good friend) over something that was funny/embarrassing in our relationship.. it was something that had simply popped into my head as a giggle at the time but that time was 15yrs ago!

Thank you for writing this!
Yes I do. I have analysed every thing that’s happened to me. I even thought ‘I wonder what people thought of my hairstyle’ from when I went to an event about 19 years ago - why would I think that today while at watching tv?!
I also have had dreams about the past, from houses I lived in to what clothes I wore.

Yes, my anxiety and neggy thoughts are through the roof at the moment my dreams are so distressing, I keep dreaming my lovely DH has left me, he gives me no reason to have these dreams, whatsoever, the complete opposite in fact, he's incredibly loving, but the dreams I have over and over are just so gut wrenchingly awful. It's like everytime I go to sleep, I have to relive him leaving me, or some other devastating occurrence. I keep remembering sad or upsetting things that have happened to me years go, or things that people have said to me that I had tucked away in a box marked 'DO NOT OPEN. EVER'.

Definitely a lockdown thing. I'm usually too busy and wrapped up in 'life' to give such nonsense a second thought I can give myself a good talking to and I'm ok again for a bit.. then 'they' come back again

You have my sympathy and empathy, OP