How to CIO when she doesn't cry

[Hustssleeping]

DD 14months wakes for 2 to 3 hours every night. I'm at my wits end. I'd never thought I'd try CIO but while I'd do anything now shes just happy shouting for that time. Not upset just happy yelling and keeping us awake. Its taken work but she goes to sleep fine. She naps fine.
I feel ill all the time. I can't concentrate and my nerves are frayed with other DD.

As others have said, your health visitor offers advice and you decide if it works for you and your child.

@Hustssleeping

She used to go to bed at 730 but HV said that was too late.

Why?

Genuine question - but if there isn't any pressing need to be up, then why does it matter? My first babies went to bed at around 9 and slept will around 9 (this was 12 years ago so might be half an hour or so off there!) and were still napping twice a day until they started pre-school (although by that time they were in bed by 730 or so). Children on the continent don't go to bed that early, ever, I would have thought.

It's not mandatory to have an early bedtime for a baby. If it's not working for you then do something different.

Don’t do Cry It Out - that’s where you just leave them, and it’s not advised in any circumstances.

I think what you might mean is Controlled Crying. We did Gentle Controlled Crying (going in every 2,3,4,5 mins) to reassure until the baby was asleep when DS was 7 months as his sleeping was terrible.

Not sure how you do it if she doesn’t cry though.

In your situation I’d engage a reputable sleep consultant. We used one; she cost about £250 and was the best money I’ve ever spent.

She used to go to bed at 730 but HV said that was too late.

Health visitor was wrong. If she naps during the day she does not need an early bedtime. It's a very long time since I was 14 months but I also find if i go to bed early, I don't just wake up in the night but am wide awake for ages!

7:30 is fine!

She used to go to bed at 730 but HV said that was too late.

My DS1 could not go to bed before 9 until he started school - he needed less sleep than average for his age and would be awake about 3 hours earlier than we wanted him to be if he went to be any earlier.

My 14 month old goes to bed at 8pm and sleeps through til 7.30 but shes always been a good night sleeper. Day time naps are beginning to get less, probably around 1 hour in the morning and maybe 2 hours in the afternoon. Can you try gradually pushing back her bed time?

What she’s your HV know about your baby? 7.30 is fine for a baby that age.

My older son always needed less sleep than most other children - I just ignored the shit my HVs spouted. He’s 8 now and sleeps 9 to 7.

Try putting her down a bit later each night and see if that helps.

Another one whose DC needs less sleep than average. At that age went to bed 8:30 up 6:30, with a 1-2 hour nap.

What naps is she having?

Why does it matter? As long as she's not distressed, just shut the door and ignore her. Mine wakes in the night occasionally and I just leave her to it. I don't even get up. She eventually goes back to sleep.

I don't think your sleep times are wrong either. Mine sleeps 6 till 7.30 with 3 hours in the day and she is 18 months.

@SnackSizeRaisin I don’t think the sleep times are problematic per se but it’s fine for your DD as she is sleeping through mainly or only awake for a short time presumably. Whereas OPs child isn’t and tweaking the sleep times could help.

@Hustssleeping

She used to go to bed at 730 but HV said that was too late.

Well its not the health visitor that's up for 3 hours during the night.

All babies are different. I'm really surprised she said that. Try and have a later bedtime.

Thanks everyone. Sorry was a snowy day here and haven't looked at my phone
Some background:
This isn't new. Shes been doing it for months and months. The HV suggested earlier bedtime as bed at 730 she was still waking for 2 hours. She used to nap for around 2hours at 1 or 2 The HV said this was too late in the day too so we moved it to 12. Which is a pain. We usually don't eat until 1.
I have another DD so we do need to be up at 7. I'm just so wreaked I let her (and me!) sleep and let DH get up with older DD (he's working from home from 7am so she plays while he works ).

What the HV suggested is so far from ideal but I'm desperate. If I hadn't been furloughed I'd probably have lost my job through just not having enough brain power to function. Its lucky this is my second (and last!) child!

So I think the summary of suggestions is
Go to bed at 7/730 (shes actually only just fallen asleep as all was a bit delayed today!)
Wake at 7am no matter what
No naps after 3?

Still not sure what to do in the night. Ill leave her to it when she wakes. The problem is her shouting wakes older DD who does not appreciate it! Homeschooling is tough enough with enough sleep!
I have tried ignoring her before but she gets very very loud!