Prenup

[babyno2pending]

My partner and I were only together a couple months before I fell pregnant and we decided to keep the baby who is now 8 months and we're very happy. We have no2 on the way and although the ride has been rough we both agree we want marriage and to be together for life. His grandparents will most likely be leaving us around 100k in their will which will go into

buying our first house. His mother suggested that when we get married (planning to in around 2 years) he should get a prenup that says I would not get half of that or anything else gifted by his family.
I'm unemployed right now due to the pandemic (I had a job when I became pregnant) and obviously with the next one coming now I will be unemployed for quite a bit longer. We decided a while back that I should stay home with them until at least school age to really get a bond with them and just make our family life a lot easier and happier.
Am I being unfair to feel that we shouldn't get a prenup and if we ever did divorce I should be entitled to half of everything seeing as though I have sacrificed a career and the chance to earn money to do full time childcare? Would I be stupid to be a SAHM and not earn my own money? I'm only 23 and have no clue how this all works. It could be that this is incredibly fair and the norm I just don't know?

I may seem incredibly sensitive here but I'm in tears at how some people can slate my life so easily. Hope youre all happy, like I said I'm 23 with no clue about anything marriage related and only wanted information. Think I will delete mumsnet now as obviously don't have the thick skin required

I think there are some made up things on OP’s side. If the marriage is two years away, how come his mum is asking for marriage ASAP? And if grandparents are going to leave something to their grandchild, when will this house materialise? Not to mention the fact that two years is a long time.

In the one year and five months you’ve been together, you’ve had a baby together and are already pregnant with a second.

You’re 23.

I can sort of see why his mum is trying to protect her son’s interests.

I’m sorry that this will sound unkind but you sound extremely immature. Your glee at having a 50% entitlement to his inheritance is strange. You don’t know how ‘all this works’. And what career have you sacrificed?

Focus on carving out a life for you and your family that isn’t dependent on an amount of money that seems to be burning a hole in your pocket.

I think what OP’s MIL has said is if they wish to marry ASAP, they must have a prenup.
Regardless of how you come across OP, get some bloody self respect and not more babies. They see you as a gold digger and you haven’t done anything to prove them wrong.

What was your pre-child career?

I thought you were leaving? 🙋‍♀️

In about 5 years, you will have no money, no career to go back to, no time to retrain if you are a SAHM like (apparently) they want, and no marriage (I highly doubt a marriage is going to happen in two years’ time. In the nicest possible way, do not give up on work in this situation. And make sure you and your partner both pay into childcare when you go back to work after the second child. DO go back to work after the second child. You will not have much respect otherwise.

@babyno2pending

I may seem incredibly sensitive here but I'm in tears at how some people can slate my life so easily. Hope youre all happy, like I said I'm 23 with no clue about anything marriage related and only wanted information. Think I will delete mumsnet now as obviously don't have the thick skin required

You are not being sensitive. AIBU at Mumsnet is what saved my life and finances when I was in a precarious situation. The sole purpose of this forum is to do the toughest scrutiny and give the bluntest answers. The sheer impact of it hit home for me. It would be utterly senseless to see you come back here in two years to mourn the fact that your in laws hate you, your partner has refused marriage and you are trapped with him with two children and no chances of a job.

Wow this thread got nasty. OP, you sound young and in need of advice and understanding. Sorry you didn't get what you needed here. You are facing some big life choices and trying to figure out how it works. Your MIL sounds like she has a lot of influence in your life and maybe you don't have such strong family support on your side? Otherwise you wouldn't be turning to MN with your questions. I think the suggestion to get some legal advice is a good one. It's not that expensive to talk to a solicitor for an hour. Good luck

• Don’t be a SAHM if not married, you will be incredibly exposed
• Pre-nups are valid in Scotland if constructed correctly following set rules.