To slope off to bed early or for a nap without telling anyone

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DH does this sometimes, leaving everyone guessing where he is mid afternoon, only to find he's gone to bed for a 2.5 hrs nap.

His elderly dad is visiting us for the weekend as he's in our support bubble. DH took himself off to bed and was most disgruntled post-nap when I suggested that next time it would be helpful if he could let me know in advance that he'd be out of action for the afternoon, so I could make my own plans with his dad - even if it meant DH just shouting down the stairs to let me know on his way up to bed!

Pre-Covid, when we'd visit my parents he'd often slope off early to bed at 8.30pm/9pm without saying goodnight to anyone!

AIBU to think this is bad form?

Ha ha! Yes it’s terrible - he’s sneakily leaving you in the lurch with his family. I admire his nerve being annoyed at you for pulling him up over it!
What’s he doing that makes him require a 2.5hr nap in an afternoon - that’s a full on heavy sleep in my book!

That's rude if his own family are there. If it was just you two then a nap is fine, but he shouldn't abandon you with his dad.

I can't judge on napping in general as a) I love a nap and b) napping is good for you.

DP always lets me know when he goes for a nap, it's me that sometimes fails to do so. Usually because I don't realise until I wake up! It's pretty rare for me to have daytime naps. DP nearly always has one though, in fact it was one of the symptoms of his health condition that led me to nag him into seeing a doctor. Thankfully in time to save him from massive permanent damage, but he's definitely never going to have the same energy levels again. OP has your DH always done this?

Is his sleeping after eating? My bil did this A LOT and at a check up was found to be developing diabetes.
Or he could just be an antisocial bugger

he sounds rude and entitled! I think I may have reached peak MN typing that :o :o

I love a nap but just sloping off is not on, esp when you have company! My most favourite nap is when dh is on early shift and I get up early, get some housework done, malinger about a bit , have a shower and then sneak off to bed for a lunchtime nap. I can't tell anyone though cos it's just me and the cats.

I would do this on occasion pre DS and when we had no guests, I'd get out of the bath, lay on the bed for a bit before getting dressed again and fall asleep and wouldn't know until I woke up or DH came to find me, on one memorable occasion I slept from 5:30pm until 8am, even missed dinner.
We now both occasionally do it when putting ds down for a nap, fall asleep while reading him stories, but never intentionally and definitely not when we have guests. DH did it today, DS is teething really badly and had a terrible night last night so DH said to me I'm going to just let him nap on our bed (it's like a treat if he's not feeling great), DH has said he had a headache earlier and when he didn't reappear after twenty minutes or so I assumed they were napping together. We had nothing planned for obvious reasons. They were both asleep so I ran a hot bath, then read a book while they napped for two hours, very refreshing all round! No way it would happen if we had guests though.

I don’t think 2.5 hours is a nap - that’s a proper sleep! 15-30 mins is a nap!

Yes, I agree it's a proper sleep! It's the disgruntlement post-nap when I challenged it that really got me! As if I was being totally unreasonable! Entitled sums it up completely!

I sort of like his style. "Fuck this I'm napping!"

But its not really in the team spirit is it?

...and our DC are teens so he can't use the young DC excuse ;)

I dont think he should be napping when you have guests. Particularly when those guests are his family. And going to bed at your parents without saying anything to anyone is just rude.