Favouritism in the work place

[JokerEmma]

My manager favours my colleagues, always speaking highly of them, recommending them for really popular pieces of work, I’m
offered what’s left over. I’m just as qualified, more experienced and know I do a good job from all the positive feedback I get from clients.
It’s just so annoying, the only thing I can think of is my manager is always posting on SM and said colleagues are always gushing with compliments. I don’t use SM as I think it’s superficial and have never been one to ‘arse wipe’ the boss. Could this be the problem? Anyone in this situation?

I suppose it depends what field you work in. Some jobs rely very heavily on networking in order to progress, and that is often at least as important as your actual skills. Could it be that what you view as "sucking up" is in fact the required level of networking and relationship building?

"The only thing I can think of is that everyone else behaves differently" is probably the reason - whether you like it or not.

Sadly there will always be personality clashes and some level of "favouritism" in relationships at work. You could try acting more like colleagues and see if it helps, but you're unlikely to change a dynamic at this point. I'm autistic and the places I haven't fit in, I just haven't fit in at all.

It also sounds like you look down on your boss and colleagues for social media, and they may have picked up on that attitude somehow? I mean, aside from mumsnet I don't use it either but it is a bonding tool of sorts.

Could you ask your boss in your next catchup to be considered for the next "such and such" job, show some pro-active eagerness? And then if you're not being fulfilled in this job, can you start looking at other roles?

Try being part of a small team with the manager's sister! That's when you really find out ALL about favouritism...
(And yes, it's shit, but there's nothing really you can do except move on. )

I hate favouritism in the workplace. It’s rife where I work.

In my department of the company a group of about five ppl which equates to about one third are treated totally different. Given all the easy jobs and they all started at the same time and grew up with the supervisor.

Luckily it doesn't affect me as my role is different but I see it clear as day. Many ppl have left over the years, those that remain just put up with it somehow. I would have to leave

Are you sure it’s a case of favouritism? I’ve been accused of being my boss’ favourite before, by someone who slacks, isn’t very good at their job and tries to get away with doing the bare minimum (I’m not implying this is you!)

At the risk of sounding unkind, I don’t think you can label it as favouritism when they ‘favour’ everyone but you.

Is there something you’re doing differently? Is it just that your face doesn’t fit? It’s shit bit some companies are like that. Do you feel able to talk to them about it directly? Your manager I mean, not your colleagues.

I think maybe they do pick up on my views of social media but it’s just not in my nature to be that shallow- I’ve tried to fit in but it’s not who I am, I can’t be someone I’m not.
I don’t respect either my manager or colleagues as they lack in integrity and professionalism by the way they behave on SM.
Maybe it’s time I branched out and worked for myself in direct competition- that would be fun!

I think I’ve just realised what the problem is. I don’t like or respect my colleagues and I’m not very good at hiding it. That’s probably why everyone else is all very clicky.

Yeah - start aiming for a new role where hopefully you'll find your "tribe", and be challenged more.

Also, while I personally do not like Facebook, twitter, Instagram etc, just think to just wipe everyone on it off as "shallow" is daft - they're clearly building networks and relationships on it, so its not all nonsense.

Depending on your industry, maybe you should think about playing the game on there a bit?

What you've just described is your problem. I cant imagine I'd enjoy working with you either. You really dont sound like a team player

I think if they ‘favour’ everyone but you, it’s a specific issue. It could be that your manager has a specific problem with you - but the tone of your post suggests that charm and office politics may not be your strong point. It might be essential to follow SM in your dept - but perhaps just try being friendly first - if that doesn’t work it might not be the right environment for you.

I think maybe they do pick up on my views of social media but it’s just not in my nature to be that shallow- I’ve tried to fit in but it’s not who I am, I can’t be someone I’m not.
I don’t respect either my manager or colleagues as they lack in integrity and professionalism by the way they behave on SM.

I think I’ve just realised what the problem is. I don’t like or respect my colleagues and I’m not very good at hiding it. That’s probably why everyone else is all very clicky.

You sound a bit up yourself here, OP. If your seemingly very high self-regard comes over in person, this could very well explain some of the issues.

Self-employment may indeed be the way to go, but you'll probably need to roll your sleeves up and get to grips with social media. It's the way of the world these days in business. Do you at least have a Linkedin account?

@JokerEmma

I think I’ve just realised what the problem is. I don’t like or respect my colleagues and I’m not very good at hiding it. That’s probably why everyone else is all very clicky.

That on its own would be enough to put off of you. They can’t fire you easily but it doesn’t mean they want to / need to pretend they like working with you. Have you considered changing your attitude? 🤷🏻‍♀️